Thursday, May 31, 2007

My Previously Undisclosed Pink Fun-Fur Fetish

Remember this post??

Well lookie, lookie what my friend Lori posted on Facebook!!

I hear that Gold Bond Medicated Powder is good for unsightly Bunny Itch.

Classy huh?

Wednesday, May 30, 2007

Demo Me This, Demo Me That

It is Wednesday May 30th, and John still has no demo tape prepared. Wasn't I talking about this in like late December/early January? D'AAAH! I'm completely ridiculous. (Deborah, if you're reading this, I'm really sorry to have not taken you up on your offer of passing along my non-existent demo. And I have no excuse.) I have clips here and there of stuff I've voiced, but can't bring myself to impose on my producer-co-workers to put it together for me. Well, one of them I wouldn't trust with it to be honest, but needless to say, I'm getting nowhere under my own steam. Wanna hear something you might find funny...? I bought a book of children's stories to narrate as a portion of my (non-existent) demo. It calls for quite a few different character voices... which is the whole strength of my appeal. It's not very good reading though. The characters are under-developed and the dialogue is infantile. (wink wink)

I'm not really in "Blogging" mode lately. I wonder what the term is for that.... Have I lost my "blojo"? Hmmm.... that sounds like something else entirely.

If you're reading this, I hope you're happy and well. I promise to be upbeat and some-what entertaining sometime soon.

Today's song is an old tear-jerker by Sinead O'Connor from the album "Universal Mother". Yeah, the lyrics are simplistic, but if you can find the song, I highly recommend it. It's beautiful and loving, with a twist of pain.

"Thank You for Hearing Me"

Thank you for hearing me
Thank you for hearing me
Thank you for hearing me
Thank you for hearing me

Thank you for loving me
Thank you for loving me
Thank you for loving me
Thank you for loving me

Thank you for seeing me
Thank you for seeing me
Thank you for seeing me
Thank you for seeing me

And for not leaving me
And for not leaving me
And for not leaving me
And for not leaving me

Thank you for staying with me
Thank you for staying with me
Thank you for staying with me
Thank you for staying with me

Thanks for not hurting me
Thanks for not hurting me
Thanks for not hurting me
Thanks for not hurting me

You are gentle with me
You are gentle with me
You are gentle with me
You are gentle with me

Thanks for silence with me
Thanks for silence with me
Thanks for silence with me
Thanks for silence with me

Thank you for holding me
And saying I could be
Thank you for saying "Baby"
Thank you for holding me

Thank you for helping me
Thank you for helping me
Thank you for helping me
Thank you, thank you for helping me

Thank you for breaking my heart
Thank you for tearing me apart
Now I've a strong, strong heart
Thank you for breaking my heart

Friday, May 25, 2007

Pop a Wheelie, Not an Ankle

Thus far... I don't foresee a lot of rollerblading in my future. I had no idea it would hurt in the way that it hurt. No, I didn't fall. Not yet anyway. But my ANKLES!!!! Owie. Owie. Owie.
I thought I was so much stronger than that. Although, I've been assured by a few co-workers today that it's very little to do with the strength of my ankles and much more to do with my skates not being tied tightly enough. I'm hoping that's the case, 'cause I have a feeling I'm going to be discouraged very early-on if it hurts this much every time.

At any rate, I got to talk to a cute guy last night because of my "baby deer taking it's first steps" rollerblading technique. We were on the bicycle path on Eglinton and Ted and Tammy went another block further than I did. (I had visions of walking two blocks home in my sock feet.) But while I was working my way back home, this guy comes skating up the path on his roller blades looking like a pro, and I just spoke out loud "You make that look so easy.", and he wrenched off his headphones to say "What?".... and I was embarrassed that he heard me and that I had interrupted him with something stupid, so I just apologized and said "It's ok. I didn't say anything important." Evidently he was curious, 'cause he skated back to me and said "sorry I didn't hear you." And I just filled him in, and he asked me if it was my first pair of blades and told me about the "bending the knees" thing, and said, "don't worry, you'll get it". Nice guy. Of course by this time I was all sweaty and just standing there like a boob, wishing I'd kept my mouth shut. But oh well. Sometimes strangers surprise you with kindness.... even cute strangers.

Ted and I are going to try again tonight pending the predicted crazy thunderstorms have passed by then. Also on the agenda: Chinese food, and "Lord of the Rings: the Two Towers" (that directors special extended edition thing). We watched the first one a month or so ago, and just want to work our way through the trilogy again. We've only watched the extended versions once each since we bought them, and they're such amazing movies (even though they're as long as a root canal - but infinitely more enjoyable of course).

Lots of family stuff going on with Ted lately. The other night his dad called to tell us he's been diagnosed with colon cancer and is about to start treatment. The good news is that they've caught it quite early and the prognosis is good for a complete recovery. Ted's decided to follow his dad's optimism about the whole situation, and try not to worry too much. He's a reasonably healthy man. Maybe I'll just do the worrying for Ted. I sometimes can't help myself. (Ok, I can NEVER help but worry.) Colon cancer is scary though. My mom's husband Jan was diagnosed with it about a year ago and he's undergoing treatment, but it's progressed beyond what they can stop, so his outlook isn't quite so positive. When last I spoke to my mom, he was feeling pretty good, all things considered though.

Ted's also making the trek to Belleville tomorrow for his grandmother's 90th birthday. He and Mel are going, and meeting their dad there. I would've liked to have gone since I lived in Belleville for 2 years and I'm always up for revisiting old haunts, but it's better that I stay home with the dogs so they can take their time - not to mention - we can avoid all the inevitable "this is Ted's friend John" b.s. that comes with extended family gatherings. In stead Ted will just have to endure "are you married yet?" from whomever he hasn't seen in however many years it's been.

I'll likely just be boring and do housework and add music to my iPod.

On that note... have a good weekend peeps. These are the lyrics to one of my favourite Lenny Kravitz songs.

"Sistamamalover" by Lenny Kravitz.

I've gone from talkin' to walkin'
You touch me deep down inside
Oh can't you see that I'm fallin'
And I can no longer hide

You are my everything
my sistamamalover
You give me everything
I have no need to borrow
And when I think of you
You take away my sorrow
I'll always love you baby
Like there's no tomorrow

When I get up in the morning
I feel like I'm so alive
With you it never gets boring
'Cause you always get me high

You are my everything
my sistamamalover
You give me everything
I have no need to borrow
And when I think of you
You take away my sorrow
I'll always love you baby
Like there's no tomorrow

I'll never go with another
'Cause baby you are so fly
Don't have to live undercover
Because I don't have to lie
I don't have to lie baby

You are my everything
my sistamamalover
You give me everything
I have no need to borrow
And when I think of you
You take away my sorrow
I'll always love you baby
Like there's no tomorrow

Thursday, May 24, 2007

Gravity Please Be Kind

'Going rollerblading for the first time ever tonight. I fear for my bones. But I do have knee, elbow and wrist pads for protection. Truthfully, I'm dreading it a little. Fat people aren't meant to donne roller blades or any other "attractive person" sporting attire. That's why you only see attractive/fit people in rollerblades. The fat people have all fallen down and broken body parts and egos on hard surfaces and looks of disgust from strangers.

Alas, even though I resisted... I have my own rollerblades. And they will either be used because I discover a miraculous love of finally knowing what it's like to be the fridge that has sat in one spot for 10 years before someone has the smarts to install coasters, or... put aside like so many other sporting goods because I'm embarrassed of how I look or simply don't enjoy the exercise. The latter of course, being the more likely outcome... makes me feel like a failure before I even begin. In this life's many arenas, my lack of ambition and motivation are surpassed by nothing, and I'm aware of this, yet I do so very little to change any of it. Needless to say, Ted is a good influence on me, and I a bad influence on him when it comes to physical activity. Let the record state though... that I did not want roller blades. I wanted to rid the house of junk food in stead. I write this now because I fear there will be no more blog entries until I've mastered the art of typing on a keyboard using only a chopstick and my teeth. Did I mention how "not" physically inclined I am? Ahh well. Open mind. Perhaps I can find some way to use the rollerblades for "slothful evil", instead of "healthy good" and trick myself into burning calories. The catch is: that I like walking, so giving me wheels so I can move faster and expend more energy is a hard sell on a body cast that will also, undoubtedly make me look fat.

(that's a joke, for anyone who's worried.)

I don't really have a song in my head today other than the theme music from WKRP in Cincinnati, which although catchy after not hearing it for 15 years or so, must be removed post-haste before it's toxic 70's melody forces me to climb the water tower with a high-powered rifle again (mustn't do that anymore). The juke box in my mind can be full of randomly switching ditties at any given time, but sometimes it gets stuck in an annoying feedback loop (usually while I'm trying to sleep). I can't really think of an instance when it isn't a bad thing to have the same song repeating over and over again in your head. But I do enjoy planting songs in Ted's head. hee hee That's one of our "couplisms". All it takes is a few bars of something familiar; the more annoying the better (hah) to pass along a song that will remain for hours. The only remedy: turn on the stereo and get a new tune goin'. And hope you forget the planted song before you venture away from a source of music.

I just asked my iPod for a good song. It's first offering was "Dude Looks Like a Lady" by Aerosmith. What a sense of humour it has.

Here's a good one... "Get Up" by Amel Larrieux from her first CD "Infinite Possibilities". Such a good album. Neo-soul, jazz-infused and a singing style that makes every note seem effortless.

"Get Up"

6 am
Getting out of bed again
Can't get back in
Cuz sleep ain't gonna pay the rent
Day to day
They got you working like a slave
Takin' credit for the work you gave
And stealing your raise
But I

I know you're down
When you gon get up
I see you're down
When you gon get up
I know you're down
When you gon get up
I see you're down
When you gon get up

People try
To pull the wool over your eyes
Don't know why
They want to profit from your demise
They lie
To cover up how weak they are inside,
Oh Baby,
Baby don't you cry
All you got's your pride
So I


Wednesday, May 23, 2007

Citrus Shoes and Randy Moose

I just remembered something I didn't want to forget. (How convenient huh?) Our trip home yesterday came with the usual, beautiful Ontario landscape, but two billboards we drove past caused me some rubbernecking and giggles. (Being in the advertising business myself, I do try to take note of really clever media when I see it.) The first was for XM Satellite Radio, just north of Barrie with life-sized (yeah, HUGE) 3-D moose clamouring up the board to get to the logo. I didn't even have time to read what the ad said, or if it said anything at all. But it looked so real, and was so well done I couldn't help but remember the brand at the very least. What can I say; when driving up north you're on the constant lookout for moose (so as not to hit one and die) so to see them looking genuinely life-like in the process of (mounting???) climbing a billboard on both sides was very funny.
The second billboard was on the 400 just before you reach the 401 interchange and it wasn't quite as visually captivating, but it was cheeky/cute and made me giggle. It was for one of the new Fresca flavours, and it just had a product picture with the slogan: "it's like Angels dancing on your tongue in citrus shoes". Silly, yeah. I guess you have to see it.

9 hours in a car has a fancy way of making you seek out entertainment where no entertainment exists. That's my only defense.

Timmins and Timbaland

The Tedster and I are back from a weekend away in Timbuktu (aka Timmins, Ontario). It never ceases to amaze me what a dreary, crumbling, s**thole it is. (Sorry N@, and anyone else who's from there.) In defense of the dreary, crumbling, s**thole... I must add that I only lived there for a little over 2 years, so maybe my assessment is a little more harsh than someone who enjoys living in a dreary, crumbling s**thole... and there are many who enjoy Timmins. Hey... if people actually live there... there must be redeeming qualities, right? I'm not an outdoorsy type person, so that's probably an automatic 3 strikes against me right there.

So why do we make the trip up there twice a year?? To visit 2 of Ted's sisters and their families. There's no other reason "to" go really. It's not like you just hop in the car for 8 hours of twisty, wilderness highways for the Goldmine Tour, or the Shania Twain Museum, and certainly not for the weather.

Anyhow... the visit was pleasant, although Ali was away camping for the better part of the weekend, and Crissy had to work both days that we weren't travelling. (A four-day weekend in Timmins really boils down to 2 days, since 2 of those days are spent driving and recovering from the driving.) So, for me; it's kind of been a "salvage the positive aspects" kind of weekend because most of the time I was bored. I pride myself in enjoying boredom in almost any other scenario, but "Timmins Bored", is beyond the usual "cherish-nothing-to-do" bored. There is truly nothing to do. But I did get a lot of fresh air, and the dogs love it up there, so yeah... that's a lot of what was salvaged.

Ted and I also made a lone journey out to his mother's grave in Whitney Cemetery. (Porcupine, Ontario folks.... yes... that's the name of a town.) That's always sad but somehow edifying. It's such a beautiful place for a cemetery beside a lake with absolutely nothing around. Ted's mom has been gone since December 25th, 1995 and it seems like a lifetime ago even though it's only been 12 years. I couldn't help but wonder how our lives would have been different had she lived. The thought of having parents in our lives is pretty foreign, and his mom was a wonderful, "family" woman. She most certainly would've had an active role and a positive influence. I only knew her for 4 months and she made me feel so welcome in their home. She knew that I was Ted's boyfriend, and she thought a lot of me and made no secret of it. I've had the good fortune of a couple of boyfriends with wonderful, accepting mothers. It's a good feeling and I remember them fondly.

At any rate, our visit wasn't ALL somber and uneventful. We also did a fair bit of drinking, which is something I haven't done in YEARS. I can't say I miss it, but we did have fun. It might seem a sad declaration to recall a family board game as the highlight of one's holiday weekend, but the family board games get quite vicious and therefore hysterical. We spent HOURS playing "Super Tock" with no one winning because it's more fun to just hunt down and foil your loved ones than it is to win. With a full compliment of players it's very fast-paced, and evil.

Sadly we forgot to bring the camera, so we missed-out on countless photo-ops with Ted's nephews who are 3 (Nathan) and 4 (Zach). We went out to their camp site for a couple of hours, but it was so bloody cold there (they had snow on Saturday) we opted not to stay. We saw a lot of Rachel (Ted's oldest niece) and her boyfriend Aaron (such a cutie), but Sarah (Ted's youngest niece, she's 14) was pretty much AWOL for the weekend ...with friends. And as far as I know, Porthos is still sleeping off the experience after spending so much time with other dogs. (Both sisters have one each.)

Before drawing to a close here, I'd like to once-again thank the Apple dude that created the iPod. Road trips are so much better because of you. Yes. Yes they are.

Oh, and as an add-on to that. The Camry Hybrid was an absolute pleasure to drive. We're getting close to 900 kms on one tank of gas. Considering gas was $1.19 per litre in Timmins, this is a good thing. It was also comfortable and surprisingly ballsy on the highway. And it stands up really well in the face of Basset barf. (thank god we had a blanket down.)

Song in my head... is "Way I Are" by Timbaland. I won't bother with the lyrics, 'cause it's not like they're life-affirming in any way. But I have to recommend Timbaland Presents: Shock Value for anybody who enjoys some (but isn't limited to) slick hip-hop (and doesn't mind some dirrrrty lyrics). It's one of the best full-albums I've listened to in a long time. There's maybe only one or two tracks on the entire thing that I don't like. And Timbaland being more a reputable producer than performer, really mixes it up with guest artists and varying styles of music. And it works really well together. I especially like the songs he does with "Fall Out Boy" and "Elton John". It's really creative, and above all else: always rhythmic. Timbaland is a master of what sounds good. Plus there are some very socially relevant tracks on the album too, (it's not entirely without lyrical substance) like "Kill Yourself", which (by title alone) sounds bad, but it's an observation of hip hop culture and the social spiral it's in.

Very enjoyable CD. One of my new faves.

Friday, May 18, 2007

79lbs of Love

Porthos and Cole went to the vet with Ted today.Guess who's tippin' the scales at 79 pounds??

Pordiddly the Monsta Puppy!

No time to blog this week sadly, at least not since Tuesday's poor attempt. All's happy and well though. Have a great holiday weekend everyone.

Tuesday, May 15, 2007

The A through F of Why I Don't Like Summer

Phew it's a hot day. And I have a headache. A big, nasty, pound on my brain until I want to die headache. I blame both allergies and barometric pressure.

I am not a Spring/Summer person. I can appreciate the beauty of these seasons, and even partake and enjoy them to a degree. But... a) I hate to sweat. b) I hate suffering from allergies (which pretty-much last from when it gets warm to when it gets cold again). c) I hate insects. I am the original bug-buffet. If there is a bug within 50 kilometres of me I guarantee it will find me, bite me and or buzz around me til I go insane or kill it. d) I hate it when other people sweat. More specifically, other people who do not wear deodorant and shower. e) I hate the smell of garbage in the air, the pungent whack-you-upside-the-head aroma that can only be achieved by sun-broiling many a disgusting thing in the sun. f) I hate not being able to breathe properly due to the aforementioned allergies or the thick, health-deteriorating smog. (not that you can't have smog in the winter, but you know what I mean.)

Anyhow... this is officially my first post about the weather (or the seasons) and I'm not particularly enthralled. I hate it when people talk about the weather really. Ah well.

Monday, May 14, 2007

A Cast of Crazies! Who Knew!?

Wow... am I glad I wasn't cheering Dreamz on. (referring to Survivor, yet-again.) What a profoundly vile idiot he turned out to be.

In a nutshell... his promise to God, his "word"... when promising Yau Man immunity (should he win it in the final 4) in exchange for a truck... meant nothing. During the infamous tribal council determining which 3 of the 4 remaining contestants would sit before the jury... Dreamz holds onto the immunity necklace and Yau Man gets sent packing. This; after he made this big, noble pledge for the camera that he was going to set such a good example and win immunity just to purposefully hand it over to Yau Man and do the honourable thing. Yeah... didn't happen. And if you happened to watch the Reunion Special... Dreamz went even further to making me move beyond just "disliking" him to just not wanting to hear another word out of him. As in, "Shut the hell up now"! Even Jeff (the host) was repeatedly frustrated with Dreamz continuous dodging of questions. Mind you, the fact that Dreamz couldn't give a straight answer to any question might be directly related to his grasp of the English language. (or lack thereof) If ever a village was missing it's idiot... Dreamz could move right in. I don't know how he figured anybody would want to give him the million dollar prize after double-talking, back-stabbing and stumbling his way through the entire game. And then to tell an audience that that's how he planned it??? Give me an effin' break mmmkay?? The boy could barely form a coherent sentence. He brought new meaning to the expression: "flying by the seat of your pants". Thank God he didn't win.

And how 'bout that jury session huh? Venomous. I had no idea that a third of the contestants were all stone-cold crazy. They kept it hidden well. I for one, could've lived out the rest of my life happily, never hearing from Lisi or Rocky ever again. ...Gee Lisi... you did all but turn around and ask your fellow jury members if there were indeed "6 zeros" in a million. Nice attempt at making Dreamz look stupid, but sadly you're the bigger monkey of the bunch. And attacking Cassandra over not having the proper footwear? Sit down heifer. Sit down. It's time for the smart people to talk. But wait... no it's not... there's Rocky. And wait... there's Alex... who's mysteriously fuming mad at everyone. I take it, the Survivor boat cruise was an uncomfortable one.
I understand why everyone was mad at Dreamz. Really I do. But I'd really like to know where all the hostility towards Cassandra came from. Truly puzzling. Sometimes the overall editing of the season lacks the proper keys to unlock the mysterious contestant opinions. Although, kudos to the editors for at last having Boo come crashing out of the closet as a flaming.... ....born again Christian. Not that there's anything wrong with that. I still think he's a sizzlin' slab o'meat. But it did shine a little light on why he was largely wanted gone. His posing questions directed at Dreamz under the heading of "as a good Christian... how did you play this game?" (or something similar) was a huge eye opener ...and... it got heated. But I saw nothing wrong with him bringing morality to the table (religious or otherwise) because Dreamz was severely lacking in a sense of right or wrong. It was however, a curious decision to broadcast an entire season of Boo being largely disliked, with no signs of annoying behaviour.

So yeah... Earl won. After all that. Unanimous. 9 votes... all for Earl. Ok. If you guys say so. But truly, after all the drama... Yau Man deserved the prize. I eat my words for wanting him gone. No one has EVER played this game better. And everyone knew it.

But I have to say... dissatisfying finale or not... BEST SEASON EVER!

Now the hard part.... more Survivor til the fall. : (

Oh well... ....Hell's Kitchen is coming back. Me likey. Me likey whole lot!

Friday, May 11, 2007

Go Boo!!!

(post started on Friday but finished on Sunday afternoon)

If I make only one post for the whole weekend, let it be this... Survivor Fiji is just quite simply rockin' this season. The finale is this Sunday (tonight) and I can hardly wait.

Last night Stacy got an unexpected boot, 'cause she didn't think to keep her mouth shut during the tribal council, thus tipping off Yau Man
that he'd best lay down his immunity idol to save his own skin. Which he did. What a wily old fella he is. Two steps ahead of everyone whilst the clan scrambles like a buncha boobs.

Right now, I'm inclined to say "Go Boo"! Because in the scheme of things he's an underdog. For some reason he's been painted as a huge annoyance, but it hasn't quite come out in the editing as to "Why?" everyone wants him gone. As one of my co-workers agrees... "Yeah, he (ironically enough) hasn't said "boo" all season." Not to mention, I think Boo is incredibly hot. Like that rough n' tumble, strong-enough-to-break-you-but-he-won't kind of hot. He's really pulling out all the stops in the competitions too. Immunity 2 weeks in a row - hee hee. I like it when the person most favoured to be voted-out by the big-bad alliance throws a monkey wrench at said-alliance forcing them to eat one of their own. Last night, they tried to eat Yau Man and they might have even succeeded had it not been for stupid, stupid, useless Stacy.
I realize that makes it sound like I want Yau Man gone, and I must admit I kinda do. He's just so smug. Not that he hasn't earned the right to be smug. He's undoubtedly the most clever Survivor contestant EVER. Last night he took BLATANT advantage of Dreamz desire to win a car (and Dreamz penchant for "do first, think later") by trading the truck he'd just won to Dreamz in exchange for immunity should Dreamz win it in the final four. I guess Yau Man is counting on Boo being gone and Dreamz being the strongest player by then. Yet another reason why I hope Boo has another monkey-wrench hidden somewhere on his person. (His incredibly sexy person.) For that, I think Yau Man will pay for his loyalty to Earl who also got his hands on an immunity idol last night. You think Earl's gonna give that up to save Yau??? I don't. Yau Man is now idol-less and vulnerable. I (boldly and perhaps stupidly) predict the Core-4 alliance is about to crumble and Earl is going to look like a weasel. I'm not saying he is a weasel... but this is a game, and if he's smart, Earl won't give up immunity. My take on Earl is that he's felt in control and in-the-know for most of the game simply by aligning himself with Yau Man, but hasn't really done anything note-worthy on his own. I don't feel he deserves to win. But that's just my opinion.
Dreamz and Cassandra... well I don't think either of them stands a chance. Dreamz has played double-crosser a few too many times and although he seems to have some kind of plan that he's not able to articulate, he's just a shot in the dark for the million. I've got to say that even though I think he's the village idiot... a million dollars would change his life and the lives of his family, so I'd be happy-enough if he did win.
Cassandra... not a strong contender in my book. She's been a coat-tail rider and basically she just sits on her thumbs during the challenges and waits for everyone else to finish. I will say this though... she's proven that she's observant and insightful and she's obviously well-liked. I like her too. Unless someone decides to take her to the final four though, her lack of physical-effort will eliminate her in any challenge of strength or stamina.

In just a few hours, the most exciting season of Survivor yet will be concluding. Sadly this post is going to look a little stupid/irrelevant goin' online now. But oh well. Let the games begin!

Wednesday, May 09, 2007

Something Cute

And to counter my rant... THIS made me laugh. I'm not an advocate of swearing around children, but kids inevitably mimic what they hear.


I'm irked.

My station (meaning the one I work for) gave away a prize package this morning that includes a full weekend rental of an H2 Hummer. These behemoth, gas-guzzling, strictly-for-status, vomit-inducing lumps of metal should be banned. They are not cool. They are not practical. They are not sexy. They serve no purpose. We should not be including them in any sort of prize package to further glamorize them in any way, shape or form.

I know I sound like an alarmist, tree-hugging, environmental crazy person at times, but it blows my mind that people as a species don't see environmentalism as an essential part of our being. Yes, we're years away from the point of no return, but for God's sake "how close" to oblivion to we have to get?? How small can our thinking be, that our singular existence entitles us to just consume whatever we want by whatever means necessary and leave the smoldering remains for our descendants to clean up? I don't even have kids; don't even want kids; and it disturbs me how very little people care. How littered our streets are. How polluted our air and water are. How crazy the weather has become, and how it gets increasingly worse.

Perhaps we get what we deserve, when we allow our home (meaning our planet) to deteriorate. The longer I live the more I become convinced that the human race is an epidemic disease, rather than the dominant species we think ourselves to be. Our dominance doesn't make us superior... of that I'm certain.

Sorry for the "heavy". The whole "H2 Prize Pack" just really set me off. This festering disdain for our society just bubbles over sometimes, and I'm demonstrating restraint by ending here. I think it's time to look at the "hottie on the horse" again, and wish I were that horse for any number of reasons.

Hottie on a Horse

Now what could be sexier than a hottie on a horse? A hottie on a horse wearing nothing but boots and underwear... or less.

I know I don't normally post stuff like this. But for some reason I find this both erotic and classy. Let's hear it for slick photography, and gratuitous pictures of nearly-naked men.

Tuesday, May 08, 2007

Dead Rodents: Five Things You Don't Know About Me

As I mentioned a few entries ago, Planet Earth... the BBC series we got on DVD. Yeah, well, we're 3 episodes in now and totally addicted. Add "nature watching geek" to the list of things you can call me. It's so beautiful and awe-inspiring (and it's HD). We literally just sit and watch and "wow" every now and again. I won't bore you with a complete run-down, but episode three is all about the earth's supply of fresh water and how it's replenished. There was a segment on Angel Falls in Venezuela and it's possibly the most beautiful sight I've ever seen. (the pictures from that link, don't do it justice.) I'm disappointed there are only 13 episodes of this show.

I got one of those "Meme" things the other day. And I think it might be interesting (for me anyhow) to blog it rather than e-mail it. It's "5 Things You Don't Know About Me".
And I should probably amend that to "5 Things Most People Don't Know About Me". 'Cause some of you might.

Thing number one: I'm notoriously late for work. My day starts at 9am, but technically, I'm never here before 9:30, sometimes 9:45. How do I justify this? Well, my main excuse is Porthos. But the older and more reliable he gets (with regards to house-training) the less viable that excuse becomes. Mind you the whole being late thing really has spilled over into the rest of my life as well. A quality I used to hate. In my defense: I'm a desk jockey. I work through my lunch, I'm not out taking smoke breaks ever, nor do I drink coffee, and I work late when it's called for. Soooo... I've never once been called-out for my morning tardiness. I'm very fortunate that I work in an environment that lets me away with it.

Thing number two: I do not, do not, do not... like public washrooms. Like to the point of obsessive compulsive phobic behaviour. But I'm getting better about that. (even though I wash my hands an excessive number of times per day to compensate for touching taps, and doorknobs and the like. Prime example... I could not tell you what the inside of my high school washrooms looked like. I used to hold my bladder ALL DAY, every day and wait til I got home to use the bathroom. And that has just as much to do with my inability to pee (or anything else) while someone is within earshot, as it did my fear of being confronted or picked-on by other guys in school. Thank god you don't carry around those needless fears forever. I still hate public washrooms but now it's solely sanitary issues, which is good, 'cause I've long since lost my ability to cease all bodily waste functions for insane periods of time.
(perhaps this particular item should be relegated to "things you'd rather not know about me".)

Thing number three: I scream like a wee school girl whilst watching scary movies. And I love every minute of it. One of our friends (Steve) loves to go to horror movies with us for this very reason. Because a) I startle him and b) he laughs at me. And I think those are great reasons for wanting to go to a scary movie with me. hah The best part is... it doesn't even have to be a "good" scary movie to scare me. One time in particular that always comes to mind is when we saw "Jeepers Creepers" in the theatre. That movie scared the hell out of me. And at one point I screamed so loud that this guy two rows ahead of us turned around and gave me one of those "are you for real?" looks. And then someone behind us chose an inopportune moment to scream just to make me scream... and it worked. Ted was embarrassed... but as per usual, I don't have a lot of shame over looking foolish. I love horror movies. I love to laugh at bad ones and have nightmares over good ones. Being scared is a bit of a high for me to be honest.
Favourite scary movie: "The Texas Chainsaw Massacre" - f**king terrifying if you can handle it.

Thing number four: I killed a mouse once and since then I can't kill anything other than bugs. It happened while I was still living at home and working nights. My mom's house had a mouse (they say you never have just one, but we never saw another one.) and I wanted to be rid of it in the most humane way possible. So I bought one of those traps that just close the mouse in a box (like a little mouse coffin) once it's walked in. Well, once said mouse was captured I plopped the trap in a bucket of water in the backyard to drown it. And being the rock that I am... I started crying when all the bubbles stopped rising from the water and I mourned that poor creature for days. I vowed then and there I'd never kill another animal and I've stuck to it.

Thing number five: (this is harder than I thought it would be - it's taken me all afternoon to write this entry with various work-related interruptions of course) I'm trying to think of something a little more interesting than the fact that I've never had a broken bone. But big deal? I'm sure that's not so rare. I was also thinking about how I kinda still believed in Santa Claus until after Grade 3. That had a lot to do with my third grade teacher (Mrs Serebrin) secretly co-ordinating with my parents to give me one of the baby gerbils from our classroom. She bought me a cage and everything, and I had never once mentioned to my parents that I wanted a gerbil, so I thought for sure there had to be a Santa. ha Sadly that gerbil was dead by June 7th (the exact day we buried it in the garden) because my dad left the cage outside while we went to church because he thought the gerbil could use some fresh air (I swear to you) and it rained and the little guy caught a cold and died within days.

So yeah... that's kind of a fifth and sixth thing. No broken bones and a self-deluded belief in Santa long past the learning curve of other kids.

And on that I will end by noting that I find it more than a little troubling that I obviously have dead rodents on the brain today.

My iPod picked the song again today. "8 Easy Steps" by Alanis Morissette. I'd love to meet this woman some day, 'cause I think she's one of the most gifted song-writers of our generation, if not the most gifted.

Eight Easy Steps

How to stay paralyzed by fear of abandonment
How to defer to men in solvable predicaments
How to control someone to be a carbon copy of you
How to have that not work and have them run away from you

How to keep people at arms length and never get too close
How to mistrust the ones you supposedly love the most
How to pretend you're fine and don't need help from anyone
How to feel worthless unless you're serving or helping someone

I'll teach you all this in 8 easy steps
A course of a lifetime you'll never forget
I'll show you how to in 8 easy steps
I'll show you how leaderships looks when taught by the best

How to hate women when you're supposed to be a feminist
How to play all pious when you're really a hypocrite
How to hate god when you're a prayer and a spiritualist
How to sabotage your fantasies by fears of success


I've been doing research for years
I've been practicing my ass off
I've been training my whole life for this moment
I swear to you
Culminating just to be this well-versed leader before you


How to lie to yourself and thereby to everyone else
How to keep smiling when you're thinking of killing yourself
How to numb all too well, to avoid going within
How to stay stuck in blue by blaming them for everything

Monday, May 07, 2007

Tattooed Pigs in Plaid Pajamas

If I had a dollar for every intangible "pound" of negativity floating around today... I'd go into business. But then again, everybody's selling negativity. Blah... "GIVING" it away. I have no energy for it on a Monday. I've got enough of my own to contend with.

And thusly, I will focus on the good. The good that is my dear friend Jerome stopping by our place last night for dinner and the Amazing Race finale. That was pretty frickin' cool. (not the race mind you, that was sadly a little anti-climactic. Eric and Danielle... pshawww who wants to see the jack-ass and the whiny-cry baby win a million dollars?) Especially, considering how busy the man is. Thank you again Jerome for accepting our invitation. We had a great time and so did Tammy.

The good is also that it's my sister Darlene's birthday. I must call her this evening to tell her of the not-so-good... which is that I got her nothing. Not even a card. Which is totally not my style. Ah well. She's not likely to mind since she stopped commemorating my birthday years ago. She might even appreciate it as one less thing she needs to worry about in terms of "oh he got me something; I'll have to get him something next year" n' all that. I do feel bad that this is her first birthday since her divorce and therefore the first birthday alone. At any rate, today is her birthday and I can't change the fact that I've done nothing. Happy Birthday my sister. I love you.

I guess that's all I've got to say today, strangely enough. But I think it has a lot to do with the unsavoury, bitchy people I've had to deal with in recent hours. Tonight is a new night, and tomorrow is a new day.

Janet - "Velvet Rope"

We have a special need
To feel that we belong
Come with me inside
Inside my velvet rope

We all wanna feel special...

This special need
That's within us
Brings out the best
Yet worst in us

Follow the passion
That's within you
Living the truth
Will set you free

We have a special need
To feel that we belong
Come with me inside
Inside my velvet rope

Put others down
To fill us up
Oppressing me
Will oppress you

Outside leave judgement
Outside leave hate
One love's the answer
You'll find in you

We have a special need
To feel that we belong
Come with me inside
Inside my velvet rope

Wednesday, May 02, 2007

Glued to the TV

Went a little nuts at Best Buy Tuesday night and bought no less than 4 seasons of various TV shows on DVD. For starters, we picked-up BBC "Planet Earth"... which is this amazing Discovery Channel style documentary series shot in HD. It's absolutely beautiful. It took 5 years to film and had a 25-million dollar budget. Needless to say, I'm looking forward to really getting into it.

We also bought Season One of both "WKRP in Cincinnati" and "Maude". Both great old shows (especially WKRP, for me, because as loopy/silly as the show is... for the most-part it is a pretty bang-on representation of what radio is like. I've worked with people like the characters on that show.), the latter finally justifying Seth MacFarlane's (whom I totally love deeply and passionately) insistence that Bea Arthur is a man. I can't remember whether it was Family Guy, (link contains Family Guy's take on the Maude theme song) or American Dad, that had a bit about her being a man, but at one point I thought that was an awful thing to say about her. Now, I'm not so sure. Based upon the 4 episodes I've seen so far... she really does seem like a gay man in drag. And that thought never occurred to me throughout however many years the Golden Girls was on TV. At any rate, it's my first time ever watching Maude, and I like it a lot. Bea Arthur is always funny for all the right reasons.

And last but not least... Season 5 of "Everybody Loves Raymond". Another show that Ted and I love. I was chatting online with my eldest sister Cheryl the other day about how much Marie (the character of Raymond's mother) reminds me of our mom... only without the religious fanaticism. Cheryl said I was "terrible"... but she never said I was wrong. hee hee They even look and dress alike for the most part. Scary huh? One definitely commonality between "Shirley" and "Marie" is that they can't be supportive to save their lives, but they do love their children with a fierce and protective love. ...THAT, and their children would rather go to a sadistic Dentist with a migraine than spend time with them.

Well... I thought that was funny even if you think it's mean. ; )

Last night as foretold, we did go to the Keg with Chris. He's absolutely the most lovable nerd you'd ever want to meet. And he's crazy about Crissy and he treats her with such love and respect. Ted and I love him. And on top of all that... he's a huge Star Trek nerd like us. Which completely rocks. Just as a forewarning... I'm planning a Trek blog entry one of these days soon. 'Cause I think the whole franchise has a lot more merit than people give it credit for, and I honestly think it's too bad that there's such a stigma of shame that comes along with being a fan. Anyhow... you've been warned. ha

The song of the day... is the song my iPod played first this morning on my way to work. (simple way to choose huh?) It's a great, great, tender song with a pulsating bass line perfect for knockin' boots yo. Jill Scott...

I Am Not Afraid

I am not afraid to be your baby
I am not afraid to be your whore
I am not afraid to be your future
I am not afraid to be your soil

In which you plant your seed
Flowers, they sprout from me
My fragrance in the breeze
You must nurture me please

I am not afraid to be your baby
I am not afraid to be your strength
I am not afraid to be open wide
I am not afraid to be glutinous

The essence of glue
I will stick to you
Through earthquakes and moods
If ever one thing was true

I am not afraid to wind it wind it
I am not afraid to keep your pace
I am not afraid to create my queendom
I am not afraid to take my place
I am not afraid

Tuesday, May 01, 2007

Largely Ricky Martin

Yay - Ted got to meet Ricky Martin!

Strangely enough, I think I'm more excited about it than him. He did have a great time though. 'Came home with a tour book and 40 or more pictures of the concert. To your left is Ted, Ricky and Tammy (in her brand, spankin' new purple leather jacket as mentioned earlier.)

And apparently, Ricky smells delightfully of "Vanilla Musk", so says Tam. Ted didn't get close enough to catch a whiff.

Incidentally, Ted also commented that Ricky didn't set off his gaydar one iota while he watched him interact with the people backstage. Ted's got pretty good gaydar too... so maybe Ricky's not the closet-dweller the media has made him out to be. Maybe he's just enlightened and evolved enough to say his sexuality is none of anyone's business even though he's heterosexual? Or maybe all of his experience has taught him how to keep it all hidden well. Who knows? Truly, I do believe that everyone's sexuality is their own business. Just because celebrities are in the public eye, doesn't entitle anyone to knowledge of their personal lives.

There's no arguing just how beautiful he is. And I think it's pretty giddy-sweet that we've got pictures of him on our camera. A little surreal even. I was secretly disappointed that he wasn't rockin' the leather pants. C'mon, that's his calling card... wouldn't you say??

And I'm not even a full-blown fan. (nor is Ted to be truthful. Ted's just always found him extremely attractive.) We have 3 of his CD's, one of which is a greatest hits, but I was almost an anti-fan because of his dreadfully boring role on General Hospital as "Miguel". That also had a lot to do with his long curly hair though.

Ahh well... a good time was had by all. While Ted and Tammy were at the concert, I took the dogs for a super-long walk, and added another 100 songs to my iPod when I got home. For me, that's a nice, relaxing evening.

Tonight, we chill. 'Cause the rest of the week is fulla' plans. Tomorrow night, Chris, Ted's sister Crissy's bf is in town from Timmins. So we're going to the Keg with him. (Crissy and Chris... yes I know. Isn't it cute??) It's his favourite restaurant and they don't have a Keg in Timmins, so he hits one every time he's in Southern Ontario. Eventually, we're hoping to introduce him to some other restaurants of interest. But we're certainly not anti-steak.

Thursday night is Survivor of course, so Tammy will be over. It's getting down to the wire, and with Mookie gone and Alex being an obvious swing vote next week things could get yet-more-ugly. I'm predicting right now that Dreamz or Alex himself will be going home. We'll see though.

Friday night, our friends Arran, Alessandro and Christian are coming over for a barbecue and probably games or a movie. So we're looking forward to that too. We haven't seen them since the "Super Bowel Party". It should be fun.

Anyhoo... on that note. I sign off. Now to pick a favourite Ricky Martin track... (just to be thematic) hmmm.... wow... this is tougher than I thought. I guess I'd have to pick the song he did and then re-did with Christina Aguilera (woo... I actually spelled her name correctly without checking first.) "Nobody Wants to Be Lonely". Not exactly the best song in the world, but I enjoyed it. Blah... Blogger's going to pull the ol' spacing issues thing on me today. It's not worth it for these particular lyrics. So yeah... technical difficulties. But I do really like that song. Their voices sound very good together.