Dances With Trolls

Wow, still in the doldrums.

I've sat with this window open all day thinking I'd write something light-hearted once it hit me, and instead I mixed-it-up with small-minded trolls making hateful comments under a video on YouTube.
The comments have since been disabled, which is a blessing in disguise. I can stop monitoring it and making comments of my own in a futile attempt to dispel homophobia and make the world a better place. *sigh*

My worked-up nerves and frustration are what I get for not adhering to my own boundaries. I try not to read comments under anything on the internet. There, dwell dragons and hateful idiots spewing venom.

So much homophobia springs from religion. That is my number one reason for distrusting religious folk, and for seeking out real answers to counter my childhood Pentecostal indoctrination. The greatest truth or peace I have ever found was in embracing Atheism. Though I must admit, there is additional frustration at this point in believing as I do and hearing people spout religious dogma. It makes blind faith in a deity a lot less tolerable to not believe in god(s).

I highly recommend "The God Delusion" by Richard Dawkins. It changed my life for the better. In terms of my own self-esteem and acceptance of my own homosexuality/releasing the programming... I read that book and a light came on. It made more sense than anything else I'd ever read.

Today I leave you with a quote (by Stephen F Roberts) before the song. And a statement I truly believe by an unknown author.

"I contend we are both atheists, I just believe in one fewer god than you do. When you understand why you dismiss all the other possible gods, you will understand why I dismiss yours."
	...Stephen F Roberts

Morality is doing right, no matter what you are told. Religion is doing what you're told, no matter what is right.

"Imagine" by John Lennon (as performed by Madonna)

Imagine there's no heaven,
It's easy if you try,
No hell below us,
Above us only sky,
Imagine all the people
living for today...

Imagine there's no countries,

It isn't hard to do,
Nothing to kill or die for,
No religion too,
Imagine all the people
living life in peace...

Imagine no possessions,
I wonder if you can,
No need for greed or hunger,
A brotherhood of man,
imagine all the people

Sharing all the world...

You may say I'm a dreamer,
but I'm not the only one,
I hope some day you'll join us,
And the world will live as one.

A Slice of Sky Pie

"Be strong and do not give up. For your work will be rewarded." 2 Chronicles 15:7

I spotted this bible verse on a little card loosely affixed to the street car stop sign on Parliament street. It provoked a few thoughts in me, so I took note of it in my phone. I've taken to doing that over the past year, when I want to remember things.

My first reaction to it, was kind of warm and squishy I have to admit. Being as "Anti-Religion" as I am, it still made me think, "Aww, not everything about the bible is bad." because Hey; a little card that someone had charitably posted with some random words of encouragement for those days when you feel like nobody cares and nobody notices you. Nice.

And then, the ugly underbelly: another connotation.

"Keep preaching and trying to convert people, because there's a place in heaven for you, if you do."

Now, what could be wrong with that?

Well, the spread of ignorance for sky pie.

And I know non-Christians who know nothing of Christianity, probably wouldn't look at it that way. But non-Christians who've escaped the cult-clutches of child indoctrination and have taken the time to "think" about life and the likelihood of god(s), might be inclined (like me) to feel a sick little feeling in their stomach, at the thought of the creation of more mindless drones to follow Jesus and give their time, hearts and money to churches.
That in itself isn't bad. Churches do wonderful things in the name of Jesus.
Charitable works, and a strong sense of community and fellowship are things that the world at large could benefit from if they took a look at the way a church takes care of it's own. I just have a problem with the selection of random rules to follow telling me against my own better judgment, that my morality is wrong from a book whose origin is almost as sketchy as the thought of it's translation.
Can we learn everything we need to know about life from a book that's supposedly 2000 years old? Even if it's holy. Shouldn't what's being learned every day be added to it, and taken into account?

No. And I think yes. But purist Christian followers believe to alter anything beyond status quo is blasphemy. And so they cling to scriptures like "a man should not lay with another man", written under Levitical Law, when people were (documented) wandering a dessert and under threat of dying as a race... and let other silly Levitical Laws... like not eating shellfish, "eye for an eye", and various cleansing rituals and sacrificial practices... slide.

There's so much labeling of what's evil, and what isn't, made by people whose reality is unaffected by the reality of the groups that they're pointing fingers at.

I've had discussions with people who cite all the wonderful things about religion to me as though I don't know what they are. As someone who's escaped, I say the spread of religion is a virus. It's a crutch for those unwilling to face the reality that human beings are creatures of this planet, not far removed from all the other animals. We are unique. But I hesitate to agree with any notion that we are divine, or created by a deity. We die. We don't know what happens when we die. That is good enough for me. I don't need to be told I'll live forever, up to my pits in sky pie. And I don't think that human beings as a species have much to gain from not facing the fate we know, instead of focusing on theism and the things we don't know, but hope for.

I wish there were another way to give people hope, aside from encouraging them to forsake logic.

Religion scares me. More than anything that it does through good will, it tears down through arrogance and segregation and divisive judgment. All balled-up with the fail-safe that to believe anything else is punishable by eternal damnation. If there were a god... (s)he's wouldn't be like that. And if he/she is... would they be worthy of worship? I think not.

So even an innocuous little "encouraging" scripture leaves a sour taste in my mouth. It goes without saying that if you work hard enough at anything, eventually it should pay off in the way you want it to. That's worth remembering at least. Good intentions.

One Republic - Secrets

I need another story
Something to get off my chest
My life gets kinda boring
Need something that I can confess
Til' all my sleeves are stained red
From all the truth that I've said
Come by it honestly I swear
Thought you saw me wink, no
I've been on the brink, so

Tell me what you want to hear
Something that were like those years
Sick of all the insincere
So I'm gonna give all my secrets away
This time, don't need another perfect line
Don't care if critics ever jump in line
I'm gonna give all my secrets away

My god, amazing how we got this far
It's like we're chasing all those stars
Who's driving shiny big black cars
And everyday I see the news
All the problems that we could solve
And when a situation rises
Just write it into an album
Singing straight, too cold
I don't really like my flow, no, so

Tell me what you want to hear
Something that were like those years
Sick of all the insincere
So I'm gonna give all my secrets away
This time, don't need another perfect line
Don't care if critics ever jump in line
I'm gonna give all my secrets away

Oh, got no reason, got not shame
Got no family I can blame
Just don't let me disappear
I'mma tell you everything

So tell me what you want to hear
Something that were like those years
Sick of all the insincere
So I'm gonna give all my secrets away
This time, don't need another perfect line
Don't care if critics ever jump in line
I'm gonna give all my secrets away

So tell me what you want to hear
Something that were like those years
Sick of all the insincere
So I'm gonna give all my secrets away
This time, don't need another perfect line
Don't care if critics ever jump in line
I'm gonna give all my secrets away
All my secrets away,
All my secrets away

Further on the Path

Lately I'm finding that I'm really troubled by philosophical, and existential trains of thought. And I guess a fair bit of it ties in with the fact that I haven't spoken to my mom (the root of all spirituality in my life you could say) since March. Sometimes when I'm out walking the dogs, I have entire conversations with myself about religion and my spiritual beliefs (or lack thereof) just because I truly can't believe that her bible-based convictions are more important to her than a relationship with her own child (or children, since my sisters are affected also by my mom's one-mindedness in other arenas). I'd like to say I'm at peace with where my family ties lay, but I guess I'm not, since it rears it's head every once in a while.

Trust me, I'm not looking for spiritual advice when I say this, but I feel like I have to talk about it anyhow.... It bothers me that I don't really believe in God anymore. That's not to say I don't entertain the notion that God might exist, but I think that's just an oppressive, fearful upbringing talking. To have faith, one must believe. And I simply cannot. There are too many inconsistencies when it comes to religion... imperfect rules written by imperfect beings. All of it conflicting with other faiths. Much of it leading to oppression, strife, wars, and segregation. To me it seems that religion was engineered to keep human beings from coexisting peacefully, and to keep commerce at the forefront of all societies.. the weak and the powerful based on status... when truly we are all the same. I was saying to Ted last night that we (gay people in general) are living proof that something is wrong with the bible. I'm not saying the entire thing is wrong, but I assure you it isn't a "chosen" lifestyle, as many god-fearing Christians put it. So where does that leave homosexuals in the scheme of all things biblical? It's rubbish. If the bible had declared on multiple occasions that people with red hair and freckles (or something equally genetic) were evil it would be just as wrong. But because varying sexual preferences are in the minority, you get a majority calling the shots when they don't understand (nor do they try, since they have some revered book to back them up) the very existence of that minority. How in the world is that balanced, and how could it ever be? I personally have never had a heterosexual thought. Not even the slightest desire for the opposite sex. I don't know how it feels to be heterosexual, and nor do I feel the slightest curiosity about it. But I obviously acknowledge that heterosexuality is the backbone of human existence and evolution. I can recognize and accept the difference without begrudging anyone their biology even without being straight myself. Why is it so hard to wrap one's head around the notion that human beings would have diverse sexuality to accompany all the other diversities that are so blatant??? I think about these things, when I think of my relationship with my mom. A lady who's lived her life the best way she knows how, according to the word of God. And on and on she's plodded, emotionally-crippled... judgemental... and incapable of independent thought... so much so that her own children's "sin" is more than she can cope with. I just shake my head and sigh. And then I stop and feel gratitude that my parents raised me with strong morals and the desire to "do right" and to be kind, and charitable. I'm also incredibly grateful that I am gay, because in retrospect I'd hate to have been straight and blindly following what I was taught to believe without ever stopping to think for myself. There's a lot of humility to be gained from existing as one of the very things you've been raised to believe was evil and wrong. And I do think I'm a better person for it.

Yeah, I could go on. But I won't. I know my blog has become very "gay" as of late, but "Hey"... you write what you know right?

Here's a great quote instead of a song today... Talk to you soon!

I have learned silence from the talkative, toleration from the intolerant, and kindness from the unkind; yet strange, I am ungrateful to these teachers.
-Kahlil Gibran