Some days I can think of nothing better than to be curled-up and cozy, listening to classical music. Like today for example; except I'm neither cozy nor curled-up, but I do have Classical 96.3 on behind me at my desk. I have the distinction of being a 33 year old, white guy working at a hip hop and R&B station, which some might think odd to begin with. But imagine and further the oddity of seeing an office of young, hip, urban kids (I say kids, because most of them are at LEAST 7 years younger than me; some of them 10 or more years younger.) walking into our open concept office and hearing classical music to their left (of the entrance where I sit) and hip hop to their right. If they didn't think I was un-cool to begin with. hee That's not to say I have it on all the time, but I'd wager I have classical music on at least 2 out of 5 work days a week. It does nothing to block out the blaring sirens of passing emergency vehicles (which I'm treated to, no less than at least 3 times a day or more - I've never actually counted, but it's an underestimate - believe me.) or even my co-workers who just have to hear the latest Chingy song for the 5 millionth time. I also know that 33 isn't that old, but it's old to be working in this format of music.
Nope, I'm not big on the hip hop at least not the modern stuff. Old school hip hop; I'm there. But maybe it's just my age when I say modern hip hop is an exercise in the looping of samples incessantly until each and every listening brain either a) succumbs to it's mindlessness and starts believing it's art or b) hits the wall otherwise known as the threshold of pain. I'm quite obviously of the latter persuasion, 'cause I'd say about 95% of all modern hip hop is meaningless drek. It used to be socially conscious and entertaining, or at least have SOME kind of message. Now it's just noise about clubbing and violence and wealth and possessions and sex and substance abuse. With a few exceptions to the rule (ie: I do like Kanye West and Ludacris although Ludacris is guilty of covering all those things in his music, but he's genuinely talented and funny as hell.)
Changin' gears, tomorrow is Hallowe'en, and the Tedster and I have not decorated at all. It's a sad, sad time. Normally we're all over Halloween. We pride ourselves in buying new decorations every year to add to our ensemble. This year the entire month of October just kinda got away from us. We bought a few decorative items, but that's about it. Porthos' house training and the subsequent need to clean the apartment constantly just put a kink in the whole affair. Just to put that into perspective; it generally takes us about 2 days to put all the Halloween stuff out. I'd say it's just as involved, if-not-more so complex than decorating for Christmas. The verdict is still out on whether we'll decorate for that festive occasion either. Maybe just a tree this year. Gachk!!! I've just committed the very crime we bitch about: Halloween and Christmas in the same breath. Curse you commercial retailers!!! Ah well, I love Halloween, 'cause there's all the festivities and fun, with none of the financial burden or full-blown stress that comes with Christmas. Did it again. Damn.
It's not classical, and it's certainly not hip hop. No one could ever accuse me of sticking to any given theme. Here's a favourite song for no particular reason: Natalie Imbruglia "Counting Down the Days"
You were right
And I don't wanna be here
If your gonna be there
Was that supposed to happen
I'll hold tight
I'll remember to smile
Though it has been a while
And without you does it matter?
There's no room
No place to start
When our souls are apart
I wanna travel through time
See your surprise
Hold you so tight
I'm counting down the days tonight
I just wanna be a million miles away from here
I'm counting down the days
How've you been
It's just the usual here
And days are feeling like years
And every day's without you
Now I cry
Just a little too much
When I think of your touch
And everything about you
I feel cold
I'm in the dark
When our souls are apart
I wanna travel through time
See your surprise
Hold you so tight
I'm counting down the days tonight
I just wanna be a million miles away from here
I wanna travel through time
See your surprise
Hold you so tight
I'm counting down the days tonight
I just wanna be a million miles away from here
I'm counting down the days
I'm counting down the days
I'm counting down the days
Monday, October 30, 2006
Sunday, October 29, 2006
Roses and Rudebox
Now tell me if I "should" feel jealous, because I really don't, but Ted got flowers from another man on Wednesday and I thought it was one of the most romantic gestures I've seen in a very long time.
Y'see, Ted's been in a training course all week (it's over now much to his relief) and he mentioned meeting this other guy in one of his group sessions whom he was certain was also gay. He mentioned this to me on Monday or Tuesday. The guy (I forget his name) was obviously quite taken with Ted because on Wednesday he brought a dozen roses to the hotel (where Ted works) and Ted had to let him down easy by telling him he was very kind but "already got a boyfriend". He remained friendly and even joked about it before the end of the week, rather than cower away in embarrassment. I don't really have much more detail than that, but I just thought it was sweet. Ted was very flattered and I could tell it made him feel really good about himself; in a way that he wouldn't if I had been the one sending the flowers. I just wanted to document that so I'd remember it, because I thought it was wonderful. The roses aren't holding up so well, but they really were beautiful. (purple-pink which evidently means "sweet love" according to Ted) How often does a gay man get flowers from another man he just met, in his own workplace? And Ted says no one ever looks at him. pshawww!
Not going to write much more because I'm sick and I think I'll go have a nap.
LOVING the new Robbie Williams CD "Rudebox". Can't tell you how much I'm lovin' it. It's the most randomly upbeat, euro-pop fun album he's ever released, full of genuine Robbie cheeky humour and incredibly valid subtext statements about the world. I love Robbie Williams. (this is not one of his more "deep" songs, but it's funky, funky, funky.)
Rudebox
Do the rudebox, Shake your rudebox x4
Ok then back to basics, grab your shell toes and your fat laces
A little hand clap for some funk faces and make your body move in the following places
Goes up your back and then down your spine and when it hits your head?
Ok then back to baseheads, dance like you just won at the special Olympics
I got the rudebox of the back of a spaceship, so sick I just had to take it
The R.U.D.E.B.O.X. up yer jacksy, split yer kecks
sing a song of semtex, pocket full of durex, body full of mandrex.
Are we gonna have sex (yes)
will you wear your knee socks (ohh)
back to the rudebox
Got this double fantasy where we just never stop,
I've got one design and that's to funk you to the top.
Know whats on my mind there's only one thing you will find,
I got one design and that's to bump you til you drop
Rudebox, do the rudebox, cos you so nasty
Rudebox, shake your rudebox, why you so nasty
Rudebox, do the rudebox, cos you so nasty
Rudebox, shake your rudebox, why you so nasty
Ok then back to spaceship, take both pills fuck the Matrix
Jack those Jills shake your Playtex rock 3 stripes not the Asics
A.D.I.D.A.S old school cos it's the best? Yes
TK Max cost less... yes. Jackson looks a mess... bless.
Ok then what to do, if you try to jack me I'll rudebox you,
if you rudebox me ill rudebox your whole crew cos its what I do aint that right boo? true
I'll ride with you if you can get me to the border cos the sheriff's after me for what I did to his daughter.
I did it like this.
you did it like that?
I love it when you double clap clap
Grab this double fantasy where we just never stop, I've got one design and that's to funk you to the top.
Know whats on my mind there's only one thing you will find, I got one design and that's to bump you til you drop
Rudebox, do the rudebox, cos you so nasty
Rudebox, shake your rudebox, why you so nasty
Rudebox, do the rudebox, cos you so nasty
Rudebox, shake your rudebox, why you so nasty
Ok then check the tan line, make your body shake like you stood on a landmine
call me on my mobile not the landline and the jack the mainline at the same time
Ok this is what we do, got a jam so fresh its nice for you
Ok give it what you got and dial 808 for the bass to drop
Ok then whats the fracas grab your cardy your lead hat and your bus pass
you don't sweat much for a fat lass, grab your rudebox cos your box is righteous
Ok bum rush the show I got high speed dubbing on my stereo
and all the tunes in the box are the cherrio, I know I told you before, did you hear me though
Grab this double fantasy where we just never stop,
I've got one design and that's to funk you to the top.
Know whats on my mind there's only one thing you will find,
I got one design and that's to bump you til you drop
Rudebox, do the rudebox, cos you so nasty
Rudebox, shake your rudebox, why you so nasty
Rudebox, do the rudebox, cos you so nasty
Rudebox, shake your rudebox, why you so nasty
Do the rudebox, shake your rudebox (repeat to fade)
Y'see, Ted's been in a training course all week (it's over now much to his relief) and he mentioned meeting this other guy in one of his group sessions whom he was certain was also gay. He mentioned this to me on Monday or Tuesday. The guy (I forget his name) was obviously quite taken with Ted because on Wednesday he brought a dozen roses to the hotel (where Ted works) and Ted had to let him down easy by telling him he was very kind but "already got a boyfriend". He remained friendly and even joked about it before the end of the week, rather than cower away in embarrassment. I don't really have much more detail than that, but I just thought it was sweet. Ted was very flattered and I could tell it made him feel really good about himself; in a way that he wouldn't if I had been the one sending the flowers. I just wanted to document that so I'd remember it, because I thought it was wonderful. The roses aren't holding up so well, but they really were beautiful. (purple-pink which evidently means "sweet love" according to Ted) How often does a gay man get flowers from another man he just met, in his own workplace? And Ted says no one ever looks at him. pshawww!
Not going to write much more because I'm sick and I think I'll go have a nap.
LOVING the new Robbie Williams CD "Rudebox". Can't tell you how much I'm lovin' it. It's the most randomly upbeat, euro-pop fun album he's ever released, full of genuine Robbie cheeky humour and incredibly valid subtext statements about the world. I love Robbie Williams. (this is not one of his more "deep" songs, but it's funky, funky, funky.)
Rudebox
Do the rudebox, Shake your rudebox x4
Ok then back to basics, grab your shell toes and your fat laces
A little hand clap for some funk faces and make your body move in the following places
Goes up your back and then down your spine and when it hits your head?
Ok then back to baseheads, dance like you just won at the special Olympics
I got the rudebox of the back of a spaceship, so sick I just had to take it
The R.U.D.E.B.O.X. up yer jacksy, split yer kecks
sing a song of semtex, pocket full of durex, body full of mandrex.
Are we gonna have sex (yes)
will you wear your knee socks (ohh)
back to the rudebox
Got this double fantasy where we just never stop,
I've got one design and that's to funk you to the top.
Know whats on my mind there's only one thing you will find,
I got one design and that's to bump you til you drop
Rudebox, do the rudebox, cos you so nasty
Rudebox, shake your rudebox, why you so nasty
Rudebox, do the rudebox, cos you so nasty
Rudebox, shake your rudebox, why you so nasty
Ok then back to spaceship, take both pills fuck the Matrix
Jack those Jills shake your Playtex rock 3 stripes not the Asics
A.D.I.D.A.S old school cos it's the best? Yes
TK Max cost less... yes. Jackson looks a mess... bless.
Ok then what to do, if you try to jack me I'll rudebox you,
if you rudebox me ill rudebox your whole crew cos its what I do aint that right boo? true
I'll ride with you if you can get me to the border cos the sheriff's after me for what I did to his daughter.
I did it like this.
you did it like that?
I love it when you double clap clap
Grab this double fantasy where we just never stop, I've got one design and that's to funk you to the top.
Know whats on my mind there's only one thing you will find, I got one design and that's to bump you til you drop
Rudebox, do the rudebox, cos you so nasty
Rudebox, shake your rudebox, why you so nasty
Rudebox, do the rudebox, cos you so nasty
Rudebox, shake your rudebox, why you so nasty
Ok then check the tan line, make your body shake like you stood on a landmine
call me on my mobile not the landline and the jack the mainline at the same time
Ok this is what we do, got a jam so fresh its nice for you
Ok give it what you got and dial 808 for the bass to drop
Ok then whats the fracas grab your cardy your lead hat and your bus pass
you don't sweat much for a fat lass, grab your rudebox cos your box is righteous
Ok bum rush the show I got high speed dubbing on my stereo
and all the tunes in the box are the cherrio, I know I told you before, did you hear me though
Grab this double fantasy where we just never stop,
I've got one design and that's to funk you to the top.
Know whats on my mind there's only one thing you will find,
I got one design and that's to bump you til you drop
Rudebox, do the rudebox, cos you so nasty
Rudebox, shake your rudebox, why you so nasty
Rudebox, do the rudebox, cos you so nasty
Rudebox, shake your rudebox, why you so nasty
Do the rudebox, shake your rudebox (repeat to fade)
Thursday, October 19, 2006
A Heavy Heart
The world is in need of some serious joy. I say this because it would seem that things just keep getting more bleak with every morning paper.
I would never pretend to be a political person, nor would I pretend to be a spiritualist - at least not anymore. But it seems to me that people as a species have entirely missed the point of what it means to be here; to exist. I know this is so heavy I don't even really want to take it on as a topic. However, I'm feeling the need.
The way I see it, the things that matter most in this life are good health, kindness and respect. Yet financial greed and selfishness abound, as does religious fanaticism. There is no joy in any of those things. Would anyone argue that all of our time and effort spent on obtaining wealth, and converting others to our own personal beliefs, would be better spent on medical research, making sure that future generations can continue to exist and thrive on our planet without destroying it, and just being kind to others? I know it's simplistic (perhaps naive) and I may be hypocritical in my own day to day, by not running off to some third world country to contribute to the solution as opposed to rotting away in my own consumerist lifestyle, being part of the problem. I tell myself I'm a good person because I make the utmost of efforts to be kind to "everyone" I encounter. Honestly, I do. (I'm speaking of the "kindness" part, in particular, not just the self-delusion that I'm a good person.) I'm an avid recycler, and I use public transit, I contribute to charities when I can, but none of this stuff truly makes a difference in the grand scheme of things. How does one get beyond the nagging, gnawing belief that the world is going to hell in a hand-basket and there's seemingly nothing to be done that can stop it?
Brought-up in a Pentecostal home by a hopelessly reality-free mother, I was always taught that nothing in this life matters but God, and serving God. Happiness, is an afterthought that you'll find if you win God's lottery of the faithful. Knowing from a young age that I was gay, immediately put me at a disadvantage in the whole, good-Christian living way-of-life, and my mother to this day still hides her head in the sand on the whole issue, choosing to have a son who tells her what she wants to hear, rather than face the truth and rethink her own values. At 33 years of age, I'm more than comfortable with who I am, and I refuse to believe that I'm going to burn in hell over something I can't change even if I wanted to.
I'm not even certain I believe in God anymore which makes the whole concept of hell a moot point. I'd like to believe in God, but as a species on the whole, I don't think human beings deserve the kind of grace I was always taught to believe God possesses, and that goes for the people who whole-heartedly believe they're living the way that he would have them live and carrying out his will to the letter. It's just not right. Wars are being fought over religion. That's what most wars are fought over: beliefs in something that's not even tangible. To me it's not worth killing for, and it's certainly not worth dying for. I'd rather agree to disagree. You have your beliefs and I have mine. I know that in the real world that's simply not plausible, but I really think it should be.
Getting back to the way I was raised though; I was always taught that the way we believed was the only way "to" believe and everyone else would suffer for all eternity. And to even question your beliefs was wrong. (Strangely enough, I don't think I've ever written that kind of statement and just "looked" at it.) But I'm way beyond just "thinking" that that way of believing is merely flawed. I'm seriously at the point where I truly believe religion should be abolished. Or rather that we as a species would have been so much further along in our social progress had it never existed at all. I don't think that people should be "forced" to give up their beliefs, but I think it would do everyone a world of good to doubt themselves and question their doctrines. Dangerous thinking... I know. But I just don't understand how people can believe in anything so vehemently that they'd be willing to persecute, punish or eradicate others for not sharing in their beliefs.
Perhaps I feel this way only because I'm unwillingly on the list of most punishable sins in almost any religion because I'm gay. But I've yet to hear a reasonable explanation for why homosexuals should be stricken from the list of things that are natural or holy. I'm sorry, but the bible just doesn't cut it for me. We as a species have "sexual" urges ingrained into our DNA and no one can tell me that in our cavalcade of differences that same-sex attraction isn't natural. Easy for me to say huh?
Anyhow... I realize I've said a whole lot and simultaneously nothing at all. But to just vent my feelings into cyber oblivion feels good. Therapeutic even. And I've got a heaviness in my heart that just won't seem to go away, because of all the atrocities I read and hear about on a daily basis. It will never make sense to me and whether or not I can ever accept it doesn't seem to matter anyhow.
I promise to write about something a whole lot more optimistic the next time I blog.
This song was written by Amy Grant shortly after the events of September 11th, 2001. It's on her album "Simple Things". The lyrics are given much more depth when you can listen to the song. It brings me comfort in it's simplicity... acknowledging helplessness and how fragile life is. It's honest; if not a solution to anything.
"I Don't Know Why"
This is one of those moments
When all that really matters
Is crystal clear
We are woven together
By whatever threads of life that have
Brought us here
We are stripped of all our layers
We are getting to the core
Tell me something real
And nothing more
I don't know why
I don't know how
I don't know where
Baby all I know is now.
So I'm here between the bookends
Of everything that was and
What will be
There's a wealth of information
And not so many answers
It seems to me
So I face the unfamiliar
And nothing is clear
Only blinding faith can carry me from here
And I don't know why
I don't know how
I don't know where
Baby all I know is now
Hold my hand and hold this moment
Time sure feels precious don't it
Life is always changing
This I know
I don't know why
I don't know how
I don't know where
Baby all I know is now
Baby all I know is now
I would never pretend to be a political person, nor would I pretend to be a spiritualist - at least not anymore. But it seems to me that people as a species have entirely missed the point of what it means to be here; to exist. I know this is so heavy I don't even really want to take it on as a topic. However, I'm feeling the need.
The way I see it, the things that matter most in this life are good health, kindness and respect. Yet financial greed and selfishness abound, as does religious fanaticism. There is no joy in any of those things. Would anyone argue that all of our time and effort spent on obtaining wealth, and converting others to our own personal beliefs, would be better spent on medical research, making sure that future generations can continue to exist and thrive on our planet without destroying it, and just being kind to others? I know it's simplistic (perhaps naive) and I may be hypocritical in my own day to day, by not running off to some third world country to contribute to the solution as opposed to rotting away in my own consumerist lifestyle, being part of the problem. I tell myself I'm a good person because I make the utmost of efforts to be kind to "everyone" I encounter. Honestly, I do. (I'm speaking of the "kindness" part, in particular, not just the self-delusion that I'm a good person.) I'm an avid recycler, and I use public transit, I contribute to charities when I can, but none of this stuff truly makes a difference in the grand scheme of things. How does one get beyond the nagging, gnawing belief that the world is going to hell in a hand-basket and there's seemingly nothing to be done that can stop it?
Brought-up in a Pentecostal home by a hopelessly reality-free mother, I was always taught that nothing in this life matters but God, and serving God. Happiness, is an afterthought that you'll find if you win God's lottery of the faithful. Knowing from a young age that I was gay, immediately put me at a disadvantage in the whole, good-Christian living way-of-life, and my mother to this day still hides her head in the sand on the whole issue, choosing to have a son who tells her what she wants to hear, rather than face the truth and rethink her own values. At 33 years of age, I'm more than comfortable with who I am, and I refuse to believe that I'm going to burn in hell over something I can't change even if I wanted to.
I'm not even certain I believe in God anymore which makes the whole concept of hell a moot point. I'd like to believe in God, but as a species on the whole, I don't think human beings deserve the kind of grace I was always taught to believe God possesses, and that goes for the people who whole-heartedly believe they're living the way that he would have them live and carrying out his will to the letter. It's just not right. Wars are being fought over religion. That's what most wars are fought over: beliefs in something that's not even tangible. To me it's not worth killing for, and it's certainly not worth dying for. I'd rather agree to disagree. You have your beliefs and I have mine. I know that in the real world that's simply not plausible, but I really think it should be.
Getting back to the way I was raised though; I was always taught that the way we believed was the only way "to" believe and everyone else would suffer for all eternity. And to even question your beliefs was wrong. (Strangely enough, I don't think I've ever written that kind of statement and just "looked" at it.) But I'm way beyond just "thinking" that that way of believing is merely flawed. I'm seriously at the point where I truly believe religion should be abolished. Or rather that we as a species would have been so much further along in our social progress had it never existed at all. I don't think that people should be "forced" to give up their beliefs, but I think it would do everyone a world of good to doubt themselves and question their doctrines. Dangerous thinking... I know. But I just don't understand how people can believe in anything so vehemently that they'd be willing to persecute, punish or eradicate others for not sharing in their beliefs.
Perhaps I feel this way only because I'm unwillingly on the list of most punishable sins in almost any religion because I'm gay. But I've yet to hear a reasonable explanation for why homosexuals should be stricken from the list of things that are natural or holy. I'm sorry, but the bible just doesn't cut it for me. We as a species have "sexual" urges ingrained into our DNA and no one can tell me that in our cavalcade of differences that same-sex attraction isn't natural. Easy for me to say huh?
Anyhow... I realize I've said a whole lot and simultaneously nothing at all. But to just vent my feelings into cyber oblivion feels good. Therapeutic even. And I've got a heaviness in my heart that just won't seem to go away, because of all the atrocities I read and hear about on a daily basis. It will never make sense to me and whether or not I can ever accept it doesn't seem to matter anyhow.
I promise to write about something a whole lot more optimistic the next time I blog.
This song was written by Amy Grant shortly after the events of September 11th, 2001. It's on her album "Simple Things". The lyrics are given much more depth when you can listen to the song. It brings me comfort in it's simplicity... acknowledging helplessness and how fragile life is. It's honest; if not a solution to anything.
"I Don't Know Why"
This is one of those moments
When all that really matters
Is crystal clear
We are woven together
By whatever threads of life that have
Brought us here
We are stripped of all our layers
We are getting to the core
Tell me something real
And nothing more
I don't know why
I don't know how
I don't know where
Baby all I know is now.
So I'm here between the bookends
Of everything that was and
What will be
There's a wealth of information
And not so many answers
It seems to me
So I face the unfamiliar
And nothing is clear
Only blinding faith can carry me from here
And I don't know why
I don't know how
I don't know where
Baby all I know is now
Hold my hand and hold this moment
Time sure feels precious don't it
Life is always changing
This I know
I don't know why
I don't know how
I don't know where
Baby all I know is now
Baby all I know is now
Wednesday, October 18, 2006
I Don't Feel Like Dancin'
Sometimes life just whips by in a blur of colour and frustration, wouldn't you say?
It bothers me to no end that I've had no time to write in my blog, and when I have had time I haven't had the inclination.
Life's events as of late:
The god-forsaken course is going well, but not quickly enough. Although I shouldn't complain about that as my "procrastinatious" nature prevents me from getting to work on assignments early or (whaaaa ha ha ha) working ahead. My marks keep improving though. Module One: 84%, Module Two: 88% and Module Three: 93%. Only 4 more modules to go before the exam and the subsequent freedom it will bring. God, how I'm looking forward to having it over and done with.
Porthos. Porthos, Porthos, Porthos... that dog is single-handedly leeching away my life force. At this point in my life I can say in all-honesty (and sheer exhaustion) that I NEVER WANT ANOTHER PUPPY. That's not to say I don't love him, and that's not to say I never want another dog, but his youthful, puppy exhuberance is proving waaaaay too taxing on my patience and my general quality of life. He's into everything constantly, requires non-stop attention and exercise, and he's still not completely house-trained, although it would seem we're getting there. (knock on wood, hug a troll, rub a rabbit's foot, stomp on a smurf... whatever... not takin' any chances) In general, if we can get him out for an hour-long walk each day, he expends some of his energy and remains a happy dog and is content to then just sit and chew on a bone or cuddle up with Cole... but if he has no avenue to burn off the aforementioned energy, he's is a complete terror. The weather as of late (which can be described as nothing short of torrential drenchings) has prevented us from walking him and made him a perfect devil dog. The latest casualty being a PS2 controller wire which he severed while we had company on the weekend. He's cute, and affectionate, and I have no doubt that "One Day" he will be a wonderfully, behaved and social dog, but that day is far, far down the tunnel.
In other news, thanksgiving weekend did not go down without drama. I ended up getting into a verbal scrap with Ted's youngest sister Mel. She and I haven't spoken since this time, and I don't really have any intention of mending fences just yet, because there's still a lot I want to get off my chest with regards to how disrespectful, and dismissive she is with me. Hell, not just with me; with her entire family. I won't go into full detail, but I will summarize by saying she and I will never likely return to the level of camaraderie we once shared before the years of her self-centred antics wore me down to the low opinion I currently have of her. (that and, the stupid shrew almost ran over her 3 year old nephew with her car in one of her infamous temper tantrums.) ....happy thoughts.... happy thoughts.... It's amazing how much anger and resentment I've been harbouring towards her. I don't like it at all.
Blah... to end on a positive note I'm enjoying 2 new CD's: Scissor Sisters "Ta Dah" and Heather Headley "In My Mind". Both filled with wonderful, uniquely artistic music. I'm very pleased with them, and I'm burnin' up my iPod to prove it.
Song of the day.... "I Don't Feel Like Dancin'" by Scissor Sisters.
Wake up in the morning with a head like 'what ya done?'
This used to be the life but I don't need another one.
Good luck cuttin' nothin', carrying on, you wear them gowns.
So how come I feel so lonely when you're up getting down?
So I play along when I hear that favourite song
I'm gonna be the one who gets it right.
You better know when you're swingin' round the room
Look's like magic's solely yours tonight
But I don't feel like dancin'
When the old Joanna plays
My heart could take a chance
But my two feet can't find a way
You think that I could muster up a little soft, shoop devil sway
But I don't feel like dancin'
No sir, no dancin' today.
Don't feel like dancin', dancin'
Even if i find nothin' better to do
Don't feel like dancin', dancin'
Why'd you break down when I'm not in the mood?
Don't feel like dancin', dancin'
Rather be home with no one when I can't get down with you
Cities come and cities go just like the old empires
When all you do is change your clothes and call that versatile.
You got so many colours make a blind man so confused.
Then why can't I keep up when you're the only thing I lose?
So I'll just pretend that I know which way to bend
And I'm gonna tell the whole world that you're mine.
Just please understand, when I see you clap your hands
If you stick around I'm sure that you'll be fine.
But I don't feel like dancin'
When the old Joanna plays
My heart could take a chance
But my two feet can't find a way
You think that I could muster up a little soft, shoop devil sway
But I don't feel like dancin'
No sir, no dancin' today.
Don't feel like dancin', dancin'
Even if i find nothin' better to do
Don't feel like dancin', dancin'
Why'd you break down when I'm not in the mood?
Don't feel like dancin', dancin'
Rather be home with no one when I can't get down with you
You can't make me dance around
But your two-step makes my chest pound.
Just lay me down as you blow it away into the shimmer light.
But I don't feel like dancin'
When the old Joanna plays
My heart could take a chance
But my two feet can't find a way
You think that I could muster up a little soft, shoop devil sway
But I don't feel like dancin'
No sir, no dancin' today.
Don't feel like dancin', dancin'
Even if i find nothin' better to do
Don't feel like dancin', dancin'
Why'd you break down when I'm not in the mood?
Don't feel like dancin', dancin'
Rather be home with no one when I can't get down with you
It bothers me to no end that I've had no time to write in my blog, and when I have had time I haven't had the inclination.
Life's events as of late:
The god-forsaken course is going well, but not quickly enough. Although I shouldn't complain about that as my "procrastinatious" nature prevents me from getting to work on assignments early or (whaaaa ha ha ha) working ahead. My marks keep improving though. Module One: 84%, Module Two: 88% and Module Three: 93%. Only 4 more modules to go before the exam and the subsequent freedom it will bring. God, how I'm looking forward to having it over and done with.
Porthos. Porthos, Porthos, Porthos... that dog is single-handedly leeching away my life force. At this point in my life I can say in all-honesty (and sheer exhaustion) that I NEVER WANT ANOTHER PUPPY. That's not to say I don't love him, and that's not to say I never want another dog, but his youthful, puppy exhuberance is proving waaaaay too taxing on my patience and my general quality of life. He's into everything constantly, requires non-stop attention and exercise, and he's still not completely house-trained, although it would seem we're getting there. (knock on wood, hug a troll, rub a rabbit's foot, stomp on a smurf... whatever... not takin' any chances) In general, if we can get him out for an hour-long walk each day, he expends some of his energy and remains a happy dog and is content to then just sit and chew on a bone or cuddle up with Cole... but if he has no avenue to burn off the aforementioned energy, he's is a complete terror. The weather as of late (which can be described as nothing short of torrential drenchings) has prevented us from walking him and made him a perfect devil dog. The latest casualty being a PS2 controller wire which he severed while we had company on the weekend. He's cute, and affectionate, and I have no doubt that "One Day" he will be a wonderfully, behaved and social dog, but that day is far, far down the tunnel.
In other news, thanksgiving weekend did not go down without drama. I ended up getting into a verbal scrap with Ted's youngest sister Mel. She and I haven't spoken since this time, and I don't really have any intention of mending fences just yet, because there's still a lot I want to get off my chest with regards to how disrespectful, and dismissive she is with me. Hell, not just with me; with her entire family. I won't go into full detail, but I will summarize by saying she and I will never likely return to the level of camaraderie we once shared before the years of her self-centred antics wore me down to the low opinion I currently have of her. (that and, the stupid shrew almost ran over her 3 year old nephew with her car in one of her infamous temper tantrums.) ....happy thoughts.... happy thoughts.... It's amazing how much anger and resentment I've been harbouring towards her. I don't like it at all.
Blah... to end on a positive note I'm enjoying 2 new CD's: Scissor Sisters "Ta Dah" and Heather Headley "In My Mind". Both filled with wonderful, uniquely artistic music. I'm very pleased with them, and I'm burnin' up my iPod to prove it.
Song of the day.... "I Don't Feel Like Dancin'" by Scissor Sisters.
Wake up in the morning with a head like 'what ya done?'
This used to be the life but I don't need another one.
Good luck cuttin' nothin', carrying on, you wear them gowns.
So how come I feel so lonely when you're up getting down?
So I play along when I hear that favourite song
I'm gonna be the one who gets it right.
You better know when you're swingin' round the room
Look's like magic's solely yours tonight
But I don't feel like dancin'
When the old Joanna plays
My heart could take a chance
But my two feet can't find a way
You think that I could muster up a little soft, shoop devil sway
But I don't feel like dancin'
No sir, no dancin' today.
Don't feel like dancin', dancin'
Even if i find nothin' better to do
Don't feel like dancin', dancin'
Why'd you break down when I'm not in the mood?
Don't feel like dancin', dancin'
Rather be home with no one when I can't get down with you
Cities come and cities go just like the old empires
When all you do is change your clothes and call that versatile.
You got so many colours make a blind man so confused.
Then why can't I keep up when you're the only thing I lose?
So I'll just pretend that I know which way to bend
And I'm gonna tell the whole world that you're mine.
Just please understand, when I see you clap your hands
If you stick around I'm sure that you'll be fine.
But I don't feel like dancin'
When the old Joanna plays
My heart could take a chance
But my two feet can't find a way
You think that I could muster up a little soft, shoop devil sway
But I don't feel like dancin'
No sir, no dancin' today.
Don't feel like dancin', dancin'
Even if i find nothin' better to do
Don't feel like dancin', dancin'
Why'd you break down when I'm not in the mood?
Don't feel like dancin', dancin'
Rather be home with no one when I can't get down with you
You can't make me dance around
But your two-step makes my chest pound.
Just lay me down as you blow it away into the shimmer light.
But I don't feel like dancin'
When the old Joanna plays
My heart could take a chance
But my two feet can't find a way
You think that I could muster up a little soft, shoop devil sway
But I don't feel like dancin'
No sir, no dancin' today.
Don't feel like dancin', dancin'
Even if i find nothin' better to do
Don't feel like dancin', dancin'
Why'd you break down when I'm not in the mood?
Don't feel like dancin', dancin'
Rather be home with no one when I can't get down with you
Monday, October 02, 2006
Clipped and Tethered
Hello Blog,
I've missed you.
Since last I blogged, I finished the second segment of my wretched course and have yet to find out how well or poorly I did.
Since last I blogged, I've discovered the deliciously thirst-quenching non-dietey-diet taste of Diet Pepsi Jazz (which is strawberries-and-cream flavoured cola) (quiet you Coke-loving non-believers, thou knowest not what thou art missing... even if it does have the most unfortunate name in Cola History).
Since I last blogged Porthos has had yet another infection (this time of the urinary tract variety) which left us ready to pull out our hair and give him up for adoption (no, not really, but we were at our wit's end) because out of the blue he started peeing everywhere in the apartment and if you know me or Ted for that matter and our standard of cleanliness - that simply would never do. But seeing as how we had made so much progress in house-training we immediately figured something was wrong, so Ted went to the vet for one of those sterile containers, got a urine sample and finally (today) we found out he wasn't well. Which was a relief, as strange as that might sound. But needless to say; this puppy is costing us a fortune.
Since I last blogged my dear friend Tammy has been for a visit, found an apartment in High Park and flown back to Edmonton to prepare for both the move and the drive across country with her Kitty. (3 days of driving would assuredly increase the velocity of my insanity - I know it's coming, but to speed up the process just seems a waste.)
Hopefully I'll be able to blog a little more frequently this week, but it's not looking that way right now. But, I'm alive and well if-not documenting it.
Song of the day is by Jane Child, "You, Bluebird" from the album "Surge".
Over my shoulder,
no wonder to clutch
I only crave what I have not tasted,
I cast off all I can touch
But you make the darkness all rosy and bright
How I long to break through this window
and follow you into flight
Let me fly away with you bluebird
Lift my heart to heaven's high
Leave the clouds behind with you bluebird
Fly away and say goodbye
So farewell to madness,
I've dreamed of this day
Pull me tenderly from the ruins
and let it all fall away
Cause where we're going,
it is overflowing
And we'll kiss the morning,
sweetly dawning
Taste the sunshine in the rain
I've been clipped and tethered,
can you help me bluebird?
Take me to the summer,
break the slumber
Raise me to a happy day,
there are only inches in our way
I've missed you.
Since last I blogged, I finished the second segment of my wretched course and have yet to find out how well or poorly I did.
Since last I blogged, I've discovered the deliciously thirst-quenching non-dietey-diet taste of Diet Pepsi Jazz (which is strawberries-and-cream flavoured cola) (quiet you Coke-loving non-believers, thou knowest not what thou art missing... even if it does have the most unfortunate name in Cola History).
Since I last blogged Porthos has had yet another infection (this time of the urinary tract variety) which left us ready to pull out our hair and give him up for adoption (no, not really, but we were at our wit's end) because out of the blue he started peeing everywhere in the apartment and if you know me or Ted for that matter and our standard of cleanliness - that simply would never do. But seeing as how we had made so much progress in house-training we immediately figured something was wrong, so Ted went to the vet for one of those sterile containers, got a urine sample and finally (today) we found out he wasn't well. Which was a relief, as strange as that might sound. But needless to say; this puppy is costing us a fortune.
Since I last blogged my dear friend Tammy has been for a visit, found an apartment in High Park and flown back to Edmonton to prepare for both the move and the drive across country with her Kitty. (3 days of driving would assuredly increase the velocity of my insanity - I know it's coming, but to speed up the process just seems a waste.)
Hopefully I'll be able to blog a little more frequently this week, but it's not looking that way right now. But, I'm alive and well if-not documenting it.
Song of the day is by Jane Child, "You, Bluebird" from the album "Surge".
Over my shoulder,
no wonder to clutch
I only crave what I have not tasted,
I cast off all I can touch
But you make the darkness all rosy and bright
How I long to break through this window
and follow you into flight
Let me fly away with you bluebird
Lift my heart to heaven's high
Leave the clouds behind with you bluebird
Fly away and say goodbye
So farewell to madness,
I've dreamed of this day
Pull me tenderly from the ruins
and let it all fall away
Cause where we're going,
it is overflowing
And we'll kiss the morning,
sweetly dawning
Taste the sunshine in the rain
I've been clipped and tethered,
can you help me bluebird?
Take me to the summer,
break the slumber
Raise me to a happy day,
there are only inches in our way
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