Wednesday, November 07, 2007

Basset Burgular: The Case of the Tricked Treats

Before I forget to document this at all, I have to tell y'all about my most recent Porthos' Hilarious Hi jinx story.

Thursday night of last week, I was sitting at home on the computer, playing iLike Music Trivia on Facebook. I'm the next best thing to oblivious to anything going on around me and just beneath my sub-consciousness, I hear "rustle, rustle, rustle" behind me, and then the "click, click, click, click" of doggie nails on wood flooring, toddling their way out to the living room. I think nothing of this. Porthos is ALWAYS investigating "something" and he's gotten to the point where I don't have to be on top of his every move. And with recent developments, Ted has been packing up his things, and there are boxes everywhere in the spare bedroom. I'm still playin' away on the computer, and I hear "click, click, click, click" back into the bedroom, then "rustle, rustle, rustle" once more... followed by "click, click, click, click", back out into the living room. Now this second occasion DID register, and I asked him... "Porthos, what are you up to baby dog"? (as if he's going to say "Nothing Dad! As you were then.") Then he comes clicking back into the bedroom, and I wait for the "rustle, rustle, rustle" and swing around on the chair, only to see him with his head in a plastic bag in one of the boxes. Of course the jig is up, and he goes "click, click, clicking" back out to the living room with a little more purpose, whilst I investigate what he was scoring out of the plastic bag.

"Oh, you little fucker"! I laugh, and run to the living room to find him lying quite pretty on his doggie bed, and proceed to pry a trick-or-treat sized Glossette's peanuts package from the hounds deadly jaws. He growled at me for ruining his snack of course, but as always his growl is just a form of communication, and he relinquished the Glossettes. But he had already opened and eaten an Oh Henry and a Reese's Peanut Butter Cup. Leaving the packaging splayed on the floor I might add. I'm trying to tell him "No", "Bad Boy", but I just can't muster up the conviction to make him equate my giggling with discipline. It was like, he just came across Ted's stash of Halloween crap, and was like "Oh... well maybe just one more."

Man I love that dog. So eternally cute, and full of antics.

Before checkin'out today, I must recommend the most beautiful, wonderful album I've heard all year. The new Queen Latifah CD: Trav'lin' Light. It's a work of exquisite art from start to finish. I seriously cannot recommend it enough. Like... go buy it. I can't imagine anyone not loving it.

Trav'lin' Light

I'm trav'lin' light
Because my man has gone
But from now on
I'm trav'lin' light

He said, "Goodbye"
And took my heart away
So from today
I'm trav'lin' light

No one to see
I'm free as the breeze
No one but me
And my memories

Some lucky night
He may come back again
But until then
I'm trav'lin' light

No one to see
I'm free as the breeze
No one but me
And my memories

Some lucky night
He may, he may come back again
But until then
I'm trav'lin' light

Tuesday, November 06, 2007

Such a Sad Year

Who knew love
would come walking thru' my door
Turn a light on
somewhere down inside
And give me a feeling
I'd never had before
It was a long wait
It was just the wrong time

But I hope you'll hold me now
Somewhere within
And when you think about
What might have been

Cry a river
Flood the sea
Cry a river over me
Take the bitter
With the sweet
And cry a river over me

How can you argue
with a feeling in your bones
'Bout what is, and what isn't meant to be
Some things you live with
But you never let it show
Like the pain I felt
The day I watched you leave

But I hope you'll think of me
When tender winds blow
Sit on the shores of love
And just let it go

Thursday, October 11, 2007

7 Random Things

I've been tagged in a Blog Meme by Misster Kitty. And far be it from me to ignore a tag. (it just goes to show you that even when I'm flying under the radar, I'm still keeping tabs on all my friends blogs.)

So, here we go. 7 things you may not have known about me, and maybe could've lived without knowing about me. ;)

1. I'm a compulsive nail-biter. It's disgusting. My hands are a mess, and a hand model I will never be. I've tried to stop, but I think I need to seek professional help. Anyone know a good hypnotist? (...and a cheap one at that.)

2. I was a virgin til age 22. What else is there to say about that? It's random. It's a fact and yeah. In retrospect I could've waited longer.

3. I am a perfect 6 on the Kinsey Scale; I have never, ever had even the slightest desire to be with a woman. Even though my first kiss was with a girl. (That kind of sealed the deal.)

4. I do not remember my final semester of high school in the months that followed my dad's death. It's a complete blank. I remember going to my graduation, but that's about it.

5. I have a collection (with Ted) of over 1400 CD's. We have long since run out of places to put them.

6. I've stopped watching television dramas because I can't bare to have them cancelled. I get so attached to the characters that I literally mourn their loss. My favourite soap opera was cancelled in 1996 and I still miss it. ("The City", on ABC -formerly "Loving")

7. I have trouble peeing in a public bathroom. I count in two's and imagine spiders on the wall to try to make myself pee.

And an 8th just for good measure: I hate tomatoes, but routinely enjoy tomato sauce, ketchup, salsa, and sun-dried tomato concocted things.

I'm not tagging anyone, but I would be interested to see what Jerome or Keltie would come up with. Hint Hint.... but no obligation.

Song of the day, is a dirty ol' gem by Prince from the Purple Rain soundtrack. Y'gotta love "Darling Nikki".

I knew a girl named Nikki
I guess u could say she was a sex fiend
I met her in a hotel lobby
Masturbating with a magazine
She said how'd u like 2 waste some time
And I could not resist when I saw little Nikki grind

She took me 2 her castle
And I just couldn't believe my eyes
She had so many devices
Everything that money could buy
She said sign your name on the dotted line
The lights went out
And Nikki started 2 grind


The castle started spinning
Or maybe it was my brain
I can't tell u what she did 2 me
But my body will never be the same
Her lovin' will kick your behind
Oh, she'll show u no mercy
But she'll sho'nuff sho'nuff show u how 2 grind

Darlin' nikki

Woke up the next morning
Nikki wasn't there
I looked all over and all I found
Was a phone number on the stairs
It said thank u 4 a funky time
Call me up whenever u want 2 grind

Oh, Nikki, ohhhh

Come back Nikki, come back
Your dirty little Prince
Wanna grind grind grind grind grind grind grind grind grind

Monday, October 01, 2007

Waving from a Window While No One's Looking

Hey there folks,

Yet another month has gone by and I'm still not back to my regular, bloggy self. I wish I could say everything's peachy, but why wouldn't I be telling you all about the peachiness if life were peachy right? I'm all about sharing the peaches.

Truth is: I'm kind of circling the bowl with no real desire to document it. And it seems kind of fake to pretend that nothing's wrong and just blog about other stuff.
Eventually I'll get back to it. I promise. I've enjoyed blogging way to much to give it up entirely. I just don't know when it will be.

In the meantime, (and on a lighter note) this is a frickin' music month for me! Among the releases: Jill Scott, Melissa Etheridge, Chaka Khan, and Queen Latifah! Thus far I only have Melissa Etheridge, and sadly I STILL haven't just sat down and listened to it. But I've also picked up the new BeeGees greatest hits double-album, and I have to say the Teddybears remix of "Stayin' Alive" just f**king rocks. Also, finally picked up the greatest hits by Garbage... "Absolute". Absolute garbage... get it? Well anyway... I love the band even if their name couldn't be further from the truth about their music.

Also... watched a really cool movie called "Next" that I didn't really have high expectations for. When Nicolas Cage is starring in something, you know it's hit and miss. But it was really clever, sci-fi, with only a few plot holes easily ignored in the name of entertainment. It's full of detail though, and jumps around a lot, so you have to give it some extra attention in order to keep up. (or at least I did.) Anyhow... I was pleasantly surprised and it wasn't predictable.

I hope everyone reading this is happy and well. Sorry I've checked-out on ya.

"Tell Me Where It Hurts" by Garbage

What is my day going to look like?
What will my tomorrow bring me?
If I had x-ray eyes, I could see inside
I wouldn’t have to predict the future

I wish that you would do with some talking
How else am I to know what you’re thinking?
If only people would say what it really was
What it really was
What it really was that they wanted

Tell me where it hurts
to hell with everybody else
All I care about is you and that's the truth
They don't love me; I can tell
But you do, so they can go to hell

Did they ever give you a reason
To believe in something different
If you’re looking for love, for what it's worth
I have plenty of it lying around here somewhere

If you are looking for disappointment
You can find it around any corner
In the middle of the night I hold on to you tight
So both of us can feel protected

Tell me where it hurts,
to hell with everybody else.
All I care about is you and that's the truth
they don't love me; yeah I can tell
but you do, so they can go to hell

I’ve been loved but I didn’t know how to feel it
And I’ve been adored but I don’t know if I ever believed it
I’ve been loved my whole life but I didn’t know how to take it

So tell me where it hurts
to hell with everybody else
All I care about is you and that's the truth
they don't love me, yeah I can tell
But you do, so they can go to hell
But you do, so they can go to hell

Tell me where it hurts
Tell me where it hurts
Tell me where it hurts now
Tell me where it hurts...

Tuesday, September 04, 2007

The Sun Still Shines

Well, it doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out that something's been "up" with me for a while now.

And rather than my former approach of full-disclosure, I'm just going to assure everyone that I'm ok. Ted's ok. And the babies are ok.

Ted and I have been going through some struggles and changes and sometimes that kind of heavy stuff doesn't come easy. But luckily "love" does. I don't know what the future holds, but for now, we're workin' on it. Big changes are in store for my dear sweet man, and I'll hold-off talking about it until everything's in the clear and everybody's got a little perspective.

Other than that... wow... I checked-out for a month, and it's not like that month was spent doing nothing. As mentioned, we had family staying with us. We've been up to French River (close to Sudbury) to a friend's cottage for a weekend, and just this weekend we finally saw the latest Harry Potter movie (in IMAX and 3D no less) (2 thumbs up from me) and took another one of those infamous day-trips to the US just for Olive Garden, with a stop in London for some Marble Slab Ice Cream. So all is not gloom and uncertainty in my life; rest-assured.

Hopefully I can blog a little more faithfully now that our busiest season is behind us at work as well. And it has been a very busy summer. Phew! Wow... can it really be September 4th today??? Happy Birthday's must be wished to my wonderful friends Jerome and Keltie. (Bo you just left and I miss you.) I hope the both of you take your lumps with grace and enjoy that dizzy-headedness-feeling that comes along with them the whole year through! ;)

On a parting note for today, I just want to say I'm grateful. My life is full of love, and hope and I'm dedicated to holding on to all of it, until my hands can nolonger grasp anything and my heart nolonger beats. Dramatic, but no-less true.

I'm laying it all out on the table,
I'm tellin' you again what I've already told you before
My love is not a soon forgotten fable;
My heart is not a box with a lock in a five and dime store.

So there's no need to question me and my feelings.
Oh, wondering if I am sure.
Ask me again, and I'll tell you the same,
Over and over.

Sure enough to never want to be without you,
Sure enough, to stay for good,
Sure enough in every little thing about you,
Sure enough.

Developing the art of collaboration,
It's dinner and a movie and a baby or two.
Now we are in the midst of a revelation, mm-hmm,
We're doing what a modern world said we could not do.

And even when our love is mellow and aging,
Oh, even when were old and wise,
And we know then what we dont know now,
Well, I know I'll still be

Sure enough to never want to be without you,
Sure enough, to stay for good,
Sure enough in every little thing about you,
Sure enough.

Monday, August 27, 2007

For My Dear, Sweet Ted

I don't know what to say to you
Tears are on your face
You don't know how we'll make it through
Such a lonely place
But if you could read my mind
Then you'd understand
Even in times like these
I'm wanting nothing other than

Our love
You and me together
Our love
I'll stay with you
Our love
Our love, our love is true

Oh won't you take me in your arms
That's where I belong
Together we are safe from harm
Together we are strong
I will hold your heart in mine
And guard it through the night
Let the stillness of this moment
Speak to us of all that's right with

(repeat chorus)

Our love
You and me forever
Our love
I'm made for you
Our love
Our love, our love is true

Close your teary eyes and sleep
I'll watch through the night and keep

(repeat chorus)

Our love
Our love

Thursday, August 16, 2007

Pole Riders, Eat Shitake, Wall Bangers, Rotating Surfboard of Death

Ok, ok... bad blogger. Very, very bad blogger. Ten lashes with a wet noodle.

I've been neglectful... absent... downright deadbeat I tells ya. My little blog child lays crying in it's own filth. What few readers I have have been forced to set up a chat room in my last post. You all deserve more. More I say.

And all I really want to talk about is the funniest episode EVER of MXC (Most Extreme Elimination Challenge). It's the "Sorority Sisters" episode featuring ever-so-briefly Mitchell Paul, the Liposucteur. It's sexist. It's crude. It's clever and in a way, it's lowest common denominator humour. I can watch just about any episode of this show over and over and always find something hysterical. The whole concept is made up of a real-life Asian game show/reality series called "Takeshi's Castle", over-dubbed in English and treated like sports commentary of a bonafide Olympic-type event. It's VERY slapstick, yet verbally, you have to be paying very close attention so as not to miss the tiniest of details that make it "laugh til it hurts" funny.

Want an example? Here's a five-minute best-of clip. Click THIS!

Oh and one more... from my sweet Ted's favourite event: "Log Droppers"
And just in case I baffled you with the title of this entry... those are the enticing names of just a few of the events on this brilliant show.

I promise to be more bloggy soon my friends. Call it a bit of a summer hiatus.

No song today... 'cause I'm lazy.

Thursday, August 09, 2007

My Life in Bullets: the Half-Assed Update

- the trip to Montreal was awesome. Only got a little bit lost. Wedding was beautiful. I'm in love with Montreal, but too fat to live there. It's full of beautiful, beautiful men.

- Ted's sister Crissy and the whole fam-damily are staying with us this week. Our apartment just seems to feel smaller and smaller with each passing day. (Not that I don't love seeing them.)

- Went to see The Simpsons Movie last night. Very funny stuff. Top of their game. That being said, I don't think I'd watch it again anytime soon. Which means Ted (who couldn't come with us) will have to find a date to see it.

- My neck is smurfed. And by smurfed I mean fucked. I can barely move my head. Not looking good for the trip to Canada's Wonderland tomorrow. (taking the day off too. :( )

That's all for now folks. I realize this is "riveting" stuff, but it may have been a tad more interesting had I the time to elaborate, which I don't because of work and just stuff.

If you're reading this, I hope you're happy and well, and that summer isn't passing you by nearly as fast as it seems to be whipping past me. Hmmmm... maybe that's why my neck is smurfed: Whiplash???

"Steve McQueen" by Sheryl Crow (This is a hot summer tune. Love it.)

Well I went to bed in Memphis
And I woke up in Hollywood
I got a quarter
in my pocket
And I'd call you if I could
But I don't know why
I gotta fly
I wanna rock and roll this party
I still wanna have some fun
I wanna leave you feeling breathless
Show you how the west was won
But I gotta fly
I gotta fly

Like Steve McQueen
All I need's a fast machine
I'm gonna make it all right
Like Steve McQueen
Underneath your radar screen
You'll never catch me tonight

I ain't takin' shit off no one
Baby that was yesterday
I'm an all American rebel
Making my big getaway
Yeah you know it's time
I gotta fly


We got rockstars in the Whitehouse
All our pop stars look like porn
All my heroes hit the highway
They don't hang out here no more

Oh you can call me on my cell phone
You can page me all night long
But you won't catch this freebird
I'll already be long gone
Like Steve McQueen
All we need's a fast machine
And we're gonna make it all right

Wednesday, August 01, 2007

Lapin Blanche

White rabbits. White rabbits. White rabbits.

Tuesday, July 31, 2007

So Lost In So Many Ways

Wow. I've been neglecting my blog huh?

But not without just cause. Let me start by saying just how much I "loathe" Caribana. Not that I've ever actually "been" to Caribana to make such a harsh statement like that. But it's one of those events that happens along every year just to drive me bAtSHiT at work. Seriously; it's more busy a time for me at work than Christmas. I hate it, hate it, hate it. I wish the whole sordid event would go bankrupt and disappear. (Forgive me, those who enjoy it - it's my fatigue speaking.)

So... in other news... Ted is in Montreal. He just got there earlier this evening. It's business til Friday night, when I get there. We've got a wedding to go to on Saturday -and- it's Pride weekend in Montreal so we're hoping to enjoy a bit of the festivities. I'm more than a little anxious - ok... make that "apprehensive" about driving to Montreal by myself. Only because I get lost oh-so-very-easily... yes... even with directions. And my friend Arran and his new boyfriend Neil were "supposed" to be coming with me, but it turns out they can't leave til Saturday morning. I'm happy they're still coming, but it kinda defeats the purpose of why I invited them along in the first place if ya know what I'm sayin'. Wish me luck. It's a six hour drive, and I could very likely still get lost in my own neighbourhood.

I'd love to write more than this, especially considering how little I've written since last week, but I'm simply too tired right now, and the babies need to go outside one last time before bed. I never quite sleep well when Ted's away as I've said before. If you're reading this honey, I love you, and I can't wait to see you Friday night. Or Saturday afternoon, depending on when I finally find my way. ha

Good night all. I hope your summer is in the process of being eventful and fun. God knows mine is.

Thursday, July 26, 2007

No House For You

A brief post today.

Yeah, the town house in Brampton... ...let's just say it's a little TOO fixer-upper. We both liked the layout and the location, and the exterior. But inside, absolutely everything needs to be changed and we don't have the money to do that, considering we'd be throwing all our money at a mortgage and condo fees for it. And we're just not handy gays. Y'know? Other gay guys could rips stuff apart and decorate and renovate like the wind. Us??? Not so much. We kinda need a place that we can move into and change over time. This place is a little better than a hovel, and we'd have to live in said hovel for god-knows how long. (with holes in the walls, and nasty floors, shitty carpets, and fucking wallpaper EVERYWHERE...) It needs new kitchen cabinets, and electrical work... blah blah blah. Anyhow... I'm a little bit relieved, a little bit disappointed. The dogs would have loved the little yard and the neighbourhood. Oh well. I wasn't crazy about moving all the way out to Brampton anyhow. My commute is long-enough as it is.

Later peeps. The Thursday workload beckons... or is that the Thursday workload cracks it's whip??

No time for lyrics today, but I do recommend a song called "Baseline" by Quarashi. It's a funky rap/reggae/rock/alternative hybrid tune. The band is largely unknown. The album is called "Jinx" and it's awesome when you're in the mood for something aggressive.

Wednesday, July 25, 2007

Things I Wouldn't Post on YouTube #1

Aren't I Mr McPosty today? This was too funny not to share. It's shamelessly dorky. I'd be embarassed for him if he weren't so hot. He looks like he knows he's being dorky, so I think that cancels a bit of it out.


Kit Rides Again

The voice session was a great success. Phew!

When I got there, I was somewhat disconcerted to find it was a "different" room full of clients... OK, only 2 this time (that I didn't know) down from 5 the last time - but it's a small room. wink
But LUCKILY... the producer and creative director were all-over the same issues that I had with the script being so long and filled with dialogue "uncharacteristic" of what we'd done before. hee hee... the character integrity issues of an animated KitKat bar. You can laugh... ...I am.

It took me twice as long as my March session, but there was 3 times the dialogue involved, so I don't feel too bad about it. Sadly, this particular material is going into a fully-produced and animated PowerPoint presentation, so it won't even hit the web, and I'm not even certain if I'll ever see what the final product is. BUT... the campaign is a huge success for them (according to some of the facts and figures I was reading) sooooo.... it's lookin' pretty good that they'll need me again for web up-dates. AND I might add, they only asked for me to come back. My female counterpart wasn't included in the presentation. Thank goodness I practiced all the lines, even the ones that I was pretty sure would be assigned to her.

The revised dialogue was cheeky and clever. I might add: I have a new fondness for the word "sassy"... it's fun to say as "Kit". My accent held. Although I was a bit horse and dry by the end of the whole experience. Dry, perhaps because I was sweating like a sauna-bound pig in a mink coat. It was fun though, and I've got more demo-tape material!!
I truly marvel at the talent of Damon, the creative guy who was there to direct me and ask for particular inflections. The guy can do sooo many character voices, including the one I was doing. You should hear his Spanish accent; flawless. I'm lucky they were looking for someone non-unionized, 'cause he could've done the part - easy.

Ted could tell everything went well by how positively "chipper" I was when I got home. It's great to enjoy your work. I have a new appreciation for that notion.

(More on the town house tomorrow or Friday.)

How 'bout an old Canadiana summer rocker... "Keep On Lovin' Me Baby" by Colin James.
He's probably the most underrated guitar player in history. The man treats his axe like an appendage. This song is old... but "timeless" old.

Well I want you to love me.
Well I want you to love me.
Well I want you to love me.

whoa yeah
whoah yeah
whoah baby
you know what pleases me

Well I want you to kiss me
Well I want you to kiss me
Well I want you to kiss me

whoa yeah
whoah yeah
whoah baby
you know what pleases me

Early in the morning
any time at night
well I can feel your tender lips
making me feel alright

Keep on loving me girl
Ahow how how
Keep on loving me baby
whoa yah
whoa yah
whoa baby
you know what pleases me


Early in the morning
any time at night
well I can feel your tender lips
making me feel alright

Keep on loving me girl
Ahow how how
Keep on loving me baby
whoa yah
whoa yah
whoa baby
you know what pleases me

Freak Accident

I received this material (below) in an e-mail forward from June, Ted's dad's wife, earlier this week. It's really quite breath-taking and scary. I don't particularly like the fact that every such instance is used to perpetuate strange circumstances as acts of god on our behalf, but hey... I can't certainly understand why a survivor of such an incident would suspect a higher power. ...If it brings you comfort.

Message was as follows:

OK Folks.........take a close look at the picture..........
Look at the first picture above and you can see where this guy broke through the guard rail
(right side where the people are standing on the road).His truck left the road, traveling from right to left.
He flipped end-over-end, Across the drainage outlet and landed on the left side of it.Now look at the 2nd picture below

Tuesday, July 24, 2007

Anxiety Ridden Tuesday

The good news is, that I was pleasantly surprised by how much I enjoyed "The Mask of Zorro". The bad news is, that I've got butterflies so bad this afternoon that I feel like I could throw-up. I'm not comfortable with the volume of lines I have to read, or the choice of dialogue for the character. The more I practice the script, the more awkward I think it sounds. GAHHHH!

And to make matters even more lined with anxiety, we're going to look at a town house in Brampton tonight. The thought of buying a home is both exciting and frightening. I don't know if I'm ready. I don't know if our financial state is ready. It'd be nice to have a yard for the boys, and a place of our own, instead of throwing rent money at something we'll never own. But we know nothing about real estate, and the market (from what I can tell) is really scary right now. Is there anybody who could back me up on my theory that it might be better to keep renting until the market cools or falls? 'Cause right now... my little real-estate-ignorant brain is telling me we could end up paying way too much for a starter home and then not be able to sell it for more than what we paid. Is that off the mark? Mind you, the little place we're looking at is relatively cheap at 150,000. I just don't know much, y'know?? (Ted just called me to say our appointment to see the place has been moved to tomorrow - so at least that's one iota of anxiety belayed.)

Blah... wish me luck staying in character.

Saturday, July 21, 2007

Z for Zorro

Alrighty friends... I need help with a house plant. See this picture?

This is a tree that I've had for about 11 years. It's starting to look a little shoddy (aside from the dusty leaves -blush-) and the last time we moved, the moving process was not kind to it, so it's missing a lot of it's former lushness. I'd like to cut both trunks down with a saw to let it grow back, but I'm afraid to do so, 'cause quite obviously I don't want to kill it. I don't even know what kind of tree it is after all these years. I cut the very top off every few months to get the branches off the ceiling, and that part always grows back, but I'm worried that if I hack off too much it will just die. It was replanted just a few short months ago and it's looking better since then, but I'd like to restore it to it's former leafy glory. Can anyone tell me what kind of tree this is, and whether I can cut it without killing it? I've e-mailed some plant expert and received no reply, and I've googled all I can think to google to no avail. Help!
On to a different topic... ...remember my mentioning that I'd be doing the KitKat singles campaign again? Well, my voice session is this Tuesday and they gave me the script to practice and I'm freakin' out a little. Why? Because it's LONG!! And the stress of voicing an accent or character voice for any length of time, is tremendous at times. Because you "fall out of it", quite literally. My biggest hurdle with Kit's "Antonio Banderas" accent is not wavering from suave Latino into Count Dracula. Trust me. We had a few giggles at my last voice session because of it. It's amazing how easy it is to drift from one accent to another when you're fakin' it. So my preparation for battle is this: I bought "The Mask of Zorro" on DVD yesterday, starring (of course) Antonio Banderas. hee hee 'Cause I really need to study up on his nuances and just get my mimicking up to par. Funny enough, I'm going to have to watch the movie by myself, because Ted and Tammy have no interest whatsoever in watching it. Ah well. Can't say as I blame them. It's not like I'm a huge Antonio fan. I just happen to be able to mock him. Imitation isn't always the greatest form of flattery.
I hope you're having a great weekend. We're off to a little birthday party tonight for our friend Jamie.
Get a little hot n' dirty with a sexy summer tune from the dearly departed Aaliyah. It's both difficult and sad to think she's been gone for 6 years now. Such a sweet voice and boundless talent.
More Than a Woman

Passion, instant
Sweat beads, fill me
Cupid's shot me
My heartbeat's racing
Tempt me, drive me
Feels so exiting
Thought of highly
It's yours entirely

I'll be
I'll be more than a lover
More than a woman
More than you ever
I'll be
I'll be more than a lover
More than a woman
More than than enough for you
I'll be
(I'll be more) more than your lover
(more) more than a woman
(more) more than your under cover
I'll be
(I'll be more) more than a lover
(more) more than a woman
(more) more than enough for you

Midnight grindin'
Heart rates climbin'
You go, I go
'Cause we share pillows
Taste me, feed me
There's still no separating
Morning massages
Nubaums in your closet

I'll be
I'll be more than a lover
More than a woman
More than you ever
I said I'll be
I'll be
I'll be more than a lover
More than a woman
More than enough for you
I'll be
(I'll be more) more than a lover
(more) more than a woman
(more) more than your under cover
I'm gonna be
(I'll be more) more than a lover
(more) more than a woman
(more) more than enough for you

I don't think your ready
I don't think your ready for this thing
For this thing
I don't think your ready for this thing
You're not ready
I don't think your ready for this thing
This thing, this thing
I don't think your ready for this thing

Constant pleasure
No scale can measure
Secret treasures
Keeps on getting better
Do you wanna roll with me?
We can go to foreign lands
Your hand in my hand
Do you wanna ride with me?
We can be like Bonnie & Clyde
Be by your side

I'll be
I'll be more than a lover
More than a woman
More than you ever
I'll be
I'll be more than a lover
More than a woman
More than than enough for you
I'll be
(I'll be more) more than your lover
(more) more than a woman
(more) more than your under cover
I'll be
(I'll be more) more than a lover
(more) more than a woman
(more) more than enough for you

Wednesday, July 18, 2007

Best in Show (in the covetted "Sausage Dog" category)

So I walk out the front door of our building, taking the boys for their last pee break for the night. There are two (very beautiful) young guys sitting on the grate talking to one of the security guards. The two young guys are very taken by Porthos. (He has that effect on everyone... not just hot men... god bless 'em.) They're petting him and rubbing his belly, ('cause he's on his back like a common belly-rub whore for anyone who even starts to give him a few "scritches".) and the security guard (referring to Porthos) says to me: "What kind of dog is he?". Cordially, I said "He's a Basset Hound". To which he replied (as though he didn't hear me) "A sausage dog?". And I smiled and said "he's a Basset Hound". Then again from him "I thought he was a sausage dog". "Well, yeah... but his actual breed is Basset hound". (honest to goodness, I wasn't being a pr**k with the guy) And one last time... "So he's not a sausage dog?"
"(still smiling) Nope, not exactly". When really, truly... internally I'm thinking... "Why yesssss.... he is a sausage dog. ...Genuine Vienna honey garlic sausage dog. Mmmm. Spicy." dumb-ass

Don't get me wrong; I'm not a breed snob, and I don't mind if someone says "oooh look, a wiener dog" (I'm very fond of wieners.... sausage too. wink) but a) He was not listening to me. Don't ask me a question and ignore my answer and b) You're a grown man. I don't care if you know dog breeds or not, surely you know there's no such breed as a sausage dog!! Whatever. It certainly gave me a cutesy lil story to tell.

Speaking of the "sausage" dog... he's now crate-free.
Roaming his and Cole's domain while we're away, and thus far there have been no significant incidents. (aside from stealing used q-tips from the bathroom garbage can - ewww - you should see him lift the lid though. CUTE!) The only serious casualty has been one envelope delivered in the mail (a big Porthos-sized bite). The bills still arrive, so I don't think he's making a habit of it. He's become such a good boy. A daddy couldn't be more proud. I loves ma' boys!

I'm feeling a little "country" today... (Hey - no groaning... the alternative was the theme song to the Golden Girls which I've had running through my head all day. Damn you Nick!) So with a summery, feel-good tune in mind...

"Jeans On" by Keith Urban. Smokin' hot, and a phenomenal guitar player!

When I wake up in the mornin' light
I pull on my jeans and I feel all right
I pull my blue jeans on, I pull my old blue jeans on
I pull my blue jeans on, I pull my old blue jeans on

It's the weekend, and I know that you're free
So pull on your jeans and come on out with me
Oh 'cause I need to have you near me,
I need to feel you close to me
I need to have you near me, I need to feel you close to me

You and me, we'll go motorbike ridin' in the sun
And the wind and the rain
I got money in my pocket, I got a tiger in my tank
And I'm king of the road again

I'll meet ya in the usual place
You don't need a thing except your pretty face, alright
I pull my blue jeans on, I pull my old blue jeans on
I pull my blue jeans on, I pull my old blue jeans on
Aw, here we go mama

You and me, we'll go motorbike ridin' in the sun
And the wind and the rain
I got money in my pocket, I got a tiger in my tank
And I'm king of the road again

When I wake up in the mornin' light
I pull on my jeans and I feel all right
Hey I pull my blue jeans on, I pull my old blue jeans on

I pull my blue jeans on, I pull my old blue jeans on
I pull my blue jeans on, I pull my old blue jeans on
I pull my blue jeans on, I pull my old blue jeans on

Tuesday, July 17, 2007

The Idiocy of Hell's Kitchen

This is my take on last night's episode of Hell's Kitchen. If it sounds like I'm hating it, it's because I am. This season is not nearly as entertaining as season 2 was.

I'm almost ready to just say "give Rock (the executive chef) the prize, send the others home, and put everyone (including the viewers) out of their misery". This show gets more contrived and stupid with every episode this season. The only woman left who's even remotely likable is Julia (the Pancake house cook), but I have my doubts Ramsay is going to give her the prize. Bonnie is a whiny little beeotch whose voice almost sends me into convulsion. And "Josh" stays over Brad??? -sigh- I realize they BOTH had to go ASAP, but Brad is obviously more capable than bumbling "donkey" Josh. The dwindling cast of idiots is captivating like a catastrophic accident. You just can't look away even though your better judgement begs it.

I may post later today (on a different and more worth while topic) if time permits.

Monday, July 16, 2007

Hairy Pothead

Well... finally watched Harry Potter 4 this weekend. Nope, that's not a typo... it was Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire that we finally popped in the ol' DVD player. After owning it for god-only-knows-how-many months. And once again... I don't get the mania. The third movie is still my favourite I suppose, but I guess I'm just not a big Harry Pothead fan. Nonetheless, seeing the 4th was a prelude to seeing the 5th ("Order of the Phoenix" right?) in IMAX sometime soon. We promised a friend we'd go. It'll be the first of the Potter films I'll see in the theatre. I hear it's the shortest film (adapted from the longest book). To me, that doesn't sound promising... but oh well. After the 7th book is released and long gone from the top of the book sales chart, I think I'll read them all. Maybe I'll even wait for all 7 volumes to be released as one big book. That would be fun.

Music for a rainy summer afternoon: "Love Can Damage Your Health" by Telepopmusik is my selection today. Tis very chillax, yet stimulating... moody and haunting, but light and airy. The lyrics... are a little abstract, so I'm not going to bother. But I do recommend the song if you can get yo paws on it.

Friday, July 13, 2007

The Movie Soundtrack of Your Life (as dictated by iTunes)

Hey! Turns out I love Music Memes! Watch for more of these eventually. Try it for yourself and let me know what you come up with.

Have a good weekend!

1. Open your library (iTunes, Winamp, Media Player, iPod, etc)
2. Put it on shuffle
3. Press play
4. For every question, type the song that's playing
5. When you go to a new question, press the next button
6. Don't lie and try to pretend you’re cool

Opening Credits: "Bambi" by Prince (who knew my life was about wooing lesbians!?)
First Day At School: "Paul McCartney" by Scissor Sisters (I can see it, in a "kids with ADD, kinda way.)
Falling In Love: "The Very Thought of You" by Natalie Cole (Awww, that's nice.)
Fight Song: "Breathe" by Faith Hill (not so appropriate, maybe "stop fighting, and just "breathe".)
Prom: "Cup of Life" by Ricky Martin (hmmmmmmm)
Life's OK: "Mama I'm Strange" by Melissa Etheridge (HAH! That's awesome!)
Mental Breakdown: "Better Be Good to Me" by Tina Turner (Not what I'd have chosen, but ok.)
Driving: "Down" by Amel Larrieux (maybe driving downtown, in the rain at night)
Flashback: "I Feel For You" by Prince (Had this been Chaka Khan's version... most definitely.)
Getting Back Together: "Satellite" by Natalie Imbruglia (aww! sweet song)
Wedding: "Here Comes the Rain Again" by Eurythmics (I don't think so. although... it's good luck, right?)
Birth of Child: "Like a Virgin" (live Confessions Tour) by Madonna ('kay that makes sense. a child would bring about a total transformation in my life.)
Final Battle: "He Can Only Hold Her" by Amy Winehouse (did I mention this was a Bridget Jone's Diary, "final battle"??)
Death Scene: "Answer" by Sarah McLachlan (heavy stuff)
Funeral Song: "Anna Rebecca" by Jann Arden (well, it's a "good bye" for sure, just a different kind)
End Credits: "Lookin' for a New Love 2005 rocasound mix" by Jody Watley (there must be a sequel already planned. hee hee)

Thursday, July 12, 2007


I must have this.

As juvenile as it may be... my desk is a thru-way for my co-workers to use my stapler after using the fax machine and photo-copier. I'm forever refilling my stapler, and I rarely use it myself. Staple-Moochin' b**ches! Taste the sting of electricity!!!

Why have I never known this type of office fuckery existed???!!

Mmmmm... Cake

Wow. This is post #100. I feel like there should be like... fireworks and shiny, scantily clad men jumping out of a cake.

Gee... in search of a visual aide... ala ripped torso smeared with icing from abs to pecs... all I could find was this blurred shot of a big lumpy cake. And who knows? There's likely a woman inside. Hopefully she's not there anymore.

Alas... although it's fun to picture someone trapped inside, with really bad poop cramps just waiting for the party crowd to yell "surprise".... I have no cake of any variety with which to commemorate my 100th blog entry. Meh... I did have leftover birthday cake for breakfast. Like... triple-layer, chocolate fudge cake with dark chocolate icing. Y'know... the kind that secretly makes you wonder if you're unknowingly mowin' down someone's idea of a practical joke.. "Ha ha ha... the chocolate cake in the staff fridge is frosted with melted Ex-Lax... don't tell anyone. Oh... and hide the bathroom keys."

So far so good. It's past lunch time and no volcanic bowel action. And just so you know... I wouldn't normally help myself to any food-stuffs in the staff fridge for fear of how long it's been there. Just, last night the station hosted it's annual summer staff party at the president's home. (No... the president of our company ya neener head.) Luckily, I had a chiropractic appointment and couldn't make it. Because ...well... these parties kinda suck when good things are happening... and let's just say good things are not happening right now and staff morale is at an all-time low, so I doubt it was anything to write home about... or write a blog entry about for that matter. But there was chocolate cake leftover in abundance... so for the sake of saying I had a healthy breakfast, let's just call it a big ol' chocolate pop-tart.

While on the topic of cake, I'm about due to bake one for Ted for post-birthday cake-cravings. He always gets two: an ice cream cake for the actual day, and then one that I bake after the fact. When I was a kid, I remember always getting a f**king Black Forest cake for my birthday almost every year... even though I HATED black forest and vocally opposed them every time. I'm still not very fond of cherries. But my mom would buy them because they were her favourite. I'm not going to delve into the topic of birthdays of yore though, lest I start bitching about how close mine is to Christmas and how I was constantly given the combo Christmas/Birthday gifts from everyone. Well, y'knew I was going to explain why. ha ha

A celebratory summer song's in order... I think... How 'bout a fluff-piece, trance-house track by Gloria Estefan "I Just Wanna Be Happy". It's from her rhythmic gem "Gloria"... one of the best CD's in the world to put on while you're doing house-work. Vacuuming never felt so party-esque!

i wanna a midnight rendezvous
i wanna give my love to you
i wanna make my dreams come true
i just wanna be happy
i wanna dance the whole night through
i wanna smell the flowers too
i wanna feel like lovers do
i just wanna be happy

i'm dancin' 'cause i feel good inside
i got the feelin' that money just can't buy
i may be dreamin' or is it my reality
i'm a believer and i believe i'm free
i can be happy because i want to be
don't need nobody to say what's right or wrong for me

i wanna a midnight rendezvous
i wanna give my love to you
i wanna make my dreams come true
i just wanna be happy
i wanna dance the whole night through
i wanna smell the flowers too
i wanna feel like lovers do
i just wanna be happy

i'm movin' to where i wanna go
feelin' the rhythm lettin' my body flow
made a decision to control my destiny
don't wanna sit back watchin' my life go by
i wanna get up, you know i gotta fly
won't ever give up until i'm happy, joyous and free

i wanna a midnight rendezvous
i wanna give my love to you
i wanna make my dreams come true
i just wanna be happy
i wanna dance the whole night through
i wanna smell the flowers too
i wanna feel like lovers do
i just wanna be happy

i just wanna be happy, joyous and free
happy, joyous and free
you know i wanna be happy, joyous and free
happy, joyous and free
i just wanna be happy, joyous and free
happy, joyous and free
i feel good inside
you know i wanna be happy, joyous and free

i wanna a midnight rendezvous
i wanna give my love to you
i wanna make my dreams come true
i just wanna be happy
i wanna have an ocean view
i wanna smell the flowers too
i wanna feel like lovers do
i just wanna be happy

Tuesday, July 10, 2007

Hot Enough to Make Garbage Question the Meaning of Life

I seriously considered writing a post about the recent re-designation of the 7 Wonders of the World. But as intregued as I am by that, I really can't add anything noteworthy, equalling to more than just a big, enthusiastic "COOL". Although, I happen to think Angel Falls is more "wonderous" than the Eiffel Tower, but there are many different categories. Mind you, in the "man-made" category, I happen to think the CN Tower is more wonderous than it's French cousin as well. But let's not get too fixated on the wonderous-ness-isms of the world's bigger phallic symbols, shall we?

Today is a hot day. Like a noteworthy, 40-m'er-f'ing degrees with the humidity, hot. Much like yesterday. A day when road crews were dispatched to remedy the 401, that was buckling in places from the heat. I do not like this type of heat. I do not like this type of heat one bit. Y'know when you go on vacation to a hot destination and you're lazing about in as little clothing is possible, watching the residents of said hot destination go about their normal lives 'cause they actually live there... ...and you think to yourself "this is a beautiful place, but God, I'd hate to have to work here under these conditions, unless I was like a dolphin trainer or a stripper... or both. Well, yeah... I'm neither. I'm fully clothed. My commute is burdened by the stench of hygenically-challenged people, and up until this morning (garbage day - thank God) every walk through our building's parking lot was met with the salutation of super-heated garbage on the verge of an evolutionary step towards sentience. It's just another reason for me to fight global warming in any way I can. 'Cause if Canada becomes a tropical paradise... I might just have to become a cave dweller.

Speaking of fighting global warming though. I've become a special kind of nuisance at work. hee hee... I'm constantly wandering about, turning off light switches in rooms that people aren't using. I don't really know "why" this agitates people so, but it does. In my own defense, I don't turn off lights when someone steps out for a second or anything, but nonetheless, people bitch at the fact that I've turned off the lights in the kitchen, and news room. (the latter room is only in use 4 hours a day!!) I also strike the voicing booths, the announcer lounge, the board rooms and engineering. There are no environmentally friendly bulbs in this joint and evidently it's too expensive for us to convert right now. I asked. But in the meantime, you do what you can. Let me also clerify that this isn't a bandwagon I've suddenly jumped on per say. I've always been a "light switch flicker-offer". You could say, the time to "step it up" has come. One of the producers and I have almost gone paperless too, in the way that we interact. It's cut back on a lot of paper I'm sure. E-mail and file-sharing folders are king. The moral of the story: turn the lights off be-otch... and wear deodorant. (I know, it's unrelated but anytime I can fit that in, I most certainly will.)

Summer song of the day: "Summertime" (the UFO mix) by Sarah Vaughan as found on Verve Remixed Volume One. (The original recording is some sweet classic jazz too.)

It's summertime
And livin' is easy
fish are jumpin'
And the cotton is high,

oh Your daddy's rich
And your mama's good lookin'
So hush, hush little baby
Don't, don't you cry

One of these mornings
Oh, you're gonna rise up singin'
You gonna spread your wings
And you'll take to the sky

But til that morning, yeah
Ain't nothing gonna harm you
So hush, so hush little baby
Now don't, don't you cry,

One of these mornings
One of these mornings
You're gonna rise up singin'
You're gonna spread your wings
And you'll take to the sky

Oh, but til that morning,
Ain't nothing can gon' harm you
With your daddy and mammy
Daddy and mammy, daddy and mammy standing by

Monday, July 09, 2007

Sleep Whore, Movie Whore, Attention Whore, James Franco's Whore

Talk about a good weekend. Not a productive one mind you, but still. The word for the weekend was "SLEEEEEEEEP" my friends. I got about 30 hours of it this weekend, and I feel recharged after weeks of going to bed way too late and then getting up early (normal). We've been so busy for so many weekends in a row, that I wasn't making up for my deprivation of slumber at all. I've always been a sleep whore. It makes me envied by many and a bit of a mystic anomaly to just about everybody else.

***note worthy tales of rest (and then some): I remember one summer in my teens going to this week-long photography course in Kitchener/Waterloo and losing a lot of sleep because of making friends and having fun... then getting home and sleeping for 3 days straight with apparent bathroom breaks that I don't remember. My dad finally woke me up on the 3rd day, telling me he thought I was dead and I'd better get up and move. hee It used to bug the crap out of him that I'd sleep for 13 hours on a regular basis. He felt I wasted the days away. But at the time I was working evenings and I'd stay up til 2am after my shift, go to bed and sleep til 3pm, get up and go to work for 4pm.
One more note-worthy tale of slumber: when I first moved to Timmins in November of 2004, the second place I found to live was renting a room in this ladie's finished basement. The room had no windows. It was winter in Timmins. Being new there, I had no friends yet. I would routinely go to bed on Friday night and wake up sometime Sunday morning/afternoon. Hungry as a mo-fo of course... but yeah... Johnny like to sleep. Still do.

Anyhoo... I didn't sleep the WHOLE weekend away. We went over to Mel (Ted's sister) and Mark's place on Saturday to spend the afternoon in their backyard. They've got a pretty nice set-up with an above ground pool and nice patio furniture with a canopy and bug netting. (Loves me some bug-netting) Ted bought himself a new little stereo system with his birthday money and work bonus. It's a Harmon Kardon
i-Pod boombox. Beautiful. We call it the "Karmon Hard-on Rude-Box" or Rudy for short. ;) Robbie Williams fans unite! Anyhow, we brought Rudy with us and enjoyed an afternoon of music in the sun with the dogs, some heavy-duty dubes, and bbq.
Then, Saturday night, Ted, Tammy and I went to the 5 Drive-in, to see "Shrek 3" and "Transformers". (I know, I know Kitty. Skip a paragraph darling. xo) What fun! Seriously. Shrek the Third was way better than what I was expecting, although it totally jumped-the-shark with the little baby ogres n'all. It was cute. Not incredibly memorable, but enjoyable. As always, Puss in Boots and Donkey stole the show. And Transformers... OMG... it was a total cgi-orgy of wicked effects. I think I had a thousand tiny orgasms throughout. As a childhood fan of the cartoon and the toys (which were always too expensive sadly) I was completely and totally geekin' out on this movie. I swear, my mouth was gaping wide for most of what I was watching. No... not an Oscar contender, but a complete homage to what the Transformers were all about. The story was fast but coherent and it was everything it was supposed to be. I haven't had that much fun at a movie in a long time. I totally want to see it again. Tammy missed the entire thing. We had agreed that she'd sit in the front for Shrek and I'd sit in the front for Transformers but the moment she got in the back she fell asleep. Ahh well... she had little to no interest in it. Said "it's a boy movie".
We were a little apprehensive about how the car was going to fare at a drive-in, running off the battery for so long (being a hybrid for anyone who hasn't read previous entries). But it was fine. It would have been better had we not needed to close the windows because of the mosquitoes eating me alive. Once you close the windows, you've got to run the A/C for a while, and the car won't just sit and idle, so it runs off the battery. By the end of the movie the battery had depleted quite a bit, but it had fully charged itself again by the time we made it home. All good.

Oh, I also wanted to add, (since I forgot to mention it at all last week) that we finally saw Spiderman 3 (in IMAX) and I was disappointed overall, but it was OK I guess. The whole concept was just to cram as much marketable Spiderman lore into one movie, shake... and sell action figures. Definitely not as good as the first or even the second. BUT... James Franco... hubba hubba. You beautiful, beautiful man. You were the only saving grace of an otherwise mediocre movie. Thank you to yo mama. Thank you to yo daddy. You gots good genes!

Last night, we (Ted, Tammy and I again) went to this fancy, shcmancy restaurant called "Ruth's Chris Steakhouse", because Tammy got a 300-dollar gift certificate from work. So the 3 of us got dressed-up and went for 80-dollar steak n' lobster and 14-dollar martinis. Dee-lish... but not worth the money in my opinion. But then, I'm cheap like that. I did appreciate how steaming/piping hot the food was served; that's rare at a restaurant. Whether or not we loved it, we'd never be able to afford to eat there anyhow so it was a nice time, and our server "Lisa" was just adorable. Loved her.

Before I call it a day blog-wise... I have to toot my own horn a bit. Remember this guy??

Well, I got an e-mail last week, asking me to reprise my voice role, so Kit will ride again. I don't have a voice session date yet, but I should know soon. Cool huh?

Anyhow... for a while I'm going to shift my songs towards stuff you can really appreciate in the hot, n' sticky summer time. :D It makes me melty-bitchy-sweaty, but you have to appreciate every season while it lasts, for what it is.

India.Arie "There's Hope"

Back when I had a little
I thought that I needed a lot
A little was over rated,
but a lot was a little too complicated
You see-Zero didn't satisfy me
A million didn't make me happy
That's when I learned a lesson
That it's all about your perception
Hey-are you a papa or a superstar
So you act, so you feel, so you are
It ain't about the size of your car
It's about the size of the faith in your heart

There's hope
It doesn't cost a thing to smile
You don't have to pay to laugh
You better thank God for that

There's hope

Off in the back country of Brazil
A met a young brotha that made me feel
That I could accomplish anything.
You see just like me he wanted to sing
He had no windows and no doors
He lived a simple life and was extremely poor
On top of all of that he had no eye sight,
but that didn't keep him from seein' the light
He said, what's it like in the USA,
and all I did was complain
He said-livin' here is paridise
He taught me paridise is in your mind
You know that


Every time I turn on the T.V. (There's Hope)
Somebody's acting crazy (There's Hope)
If you let it, it will drive you crazy (There's Hope)
but I'm takin' back my power today (There's Hope)
Gas prices they just keep on rising (There's Hope)
The government they keep on lying
but we gotta keep on surviving
Keep living our truth and do the best we can do

Stand up for your rights [echo]
Keep shining your light [echo]
And show the world your smile [echo]

Friday, July 06, 2007

Further on the Path

Lately I'm finding that I'm really troubled by philosophical, and existential trains of thought. And I guess a fair bit of it ties in with the fact that I haven't spoken to my mom (the root of all spirituality in my life you could say) since March. Sometimes when I'm out walking the dogs, I have entire conversations with myself about religion and my spiritual beliefs (or lack thereof) just because I truly can't believe that her bible-based convictions are more important to her than a relationship with her own child (or children, since my sisters are affected also by my mom's one-mindedness in other arenas). I'd like to say I'm at peace with where my family ties lay, but I guess I'm not, since it rears it's head every once in a while.

Trust me, I'm not looking for spiritual advice when I say this, but I feel like I have to talk about it anyhow.... It bothers me that I don't really believe in God anymore. That's not to say I don't entertain the notion that God might exist, but I think that's just an oppressive, fearful upbringing talking. To have faith, one must believe. And I simply cannot. There are too many inconsistencies when it comes to religion... imperfect rules written by imperfect beings. All of it conflicting with other faiths. Much of it leading to oppression, strife, wars, and segregation. To me it seems that religion was engineered to keep human beings from coexisting peacefully, and to keep commerce at the forefront of all societies.. the weak and the powerful based on status... when truly we are all the same. I was saying to Ted last night that we (gay people in general) are living proof that something is wrong with the bible. I'm not saying the entire thing is wrong, but I assure you it isn't a "chosen" lifestyle, as many god-fearing Christians put it. So where does that leave homosexuals in the scheme of all things biblical? It's rubbish. If the bible had declared on multiple occasions that people with red hair and freckles (or something equally genetic) were evil it would be just as wrong. But because varying sexual preferences are in the minority, you get a majority calling the shots when they don't understand (nor do they try, since they have some revered book to back them up) the very existence of that minority. How in the world is that balanced, and how could it ever be? I personally have never had a heterosexual thought. Not even the slightest desire for the opposite sex. I don't know how it feels to be heterosexual, and nor do I feel the slightest curiosity about it. But I obviously acknowledge that heterosexuality is the backbone of human existence and evolution. I can recognize and accept the difference without begrudging anyone their biology even without being straight myself. Why is it so hard to wrap one's head around the notion that human beings would have diverse sexuality to accompany all the other diversities that are so blatant??? I think about these things, when I think of my relationship with my mom. A lady who's lived her life the best way she knows how, according to the word of God. And on and on she's plodded, emotionally-crippled... judgemental... and incapable of independent thought... so much so that her own children's "sin" is more than she can cope with. I just shake my head and sigh. And then I stop and feel gratitude that my parents raised me with strong morals and the desire to "do right" and to be kind, and charitable. I'm also incredibly grateful that I am gay, because in retrospect I'd hate to have been straight and blindly following what I was taught to believe without ever stopping to think for myself. There's a lot of humility to be gained from existing as one of the very things you've been raised to believe was evil and wrong. And I do think I'm a better person for it.

Yeah, I could go on. But I won't. I know my blog has become very "gay" as of late, but "Hey"... you write what you know right?

Here's a great quote instead of a song today... Talk to you soon!

I have learned silence from the talkative, toleration from the intolerant, and kindness from the unkind; yet strange, I am ungrateful to these teachers.
-Kahlil Gibran

Wednesday, July 04, 2007

Year of the Eak

Happy Birthday to Eak,
Happy Birthday to Eak,
Happy Birthday dear Eak,
Happy Birthday to you!

37 and you still look younger than me. Enjoy your day! Filled with friends, family, gifts and favourite foods... Everything that makes a birthday special, then when all is quiet and you're all partied-out... practice being young with your Johnny! ;)

I love you.


Faith Hill "It Will Be Me"

When you start falling
Who's gonna catch ya
I'm willing to bet ya
It will be me
Who's gonna love ya
Like there's no other
Search and discover
It will be me

When all the others
Have gone and hurt you
Who won't desert you
It will be me
Weighing the options
So much to think of
But when you think love
It will be me

You may not see it now
Love is strange that way
Someday somewhere baby somehow

When you've been broken
And dreams don't oblige ya
Who's that beside ya
Oh, it will be me

You may not see it now
Love is strange that way
Someday somewhere baby somehow

Who'll be your only
True romancer
You know the answer
It will be me

What will it take to
Bring you to your senses
And finally convince you
It will be me

Tuesday, July 03, 2007

Canada Day Shtuff

If you ever have the opportunity to accompany a 5 year old and 4 year old, to their first major fireworks display, I highly recommend it.

Sadly, I have no pictures because our camera batteries died. : ( But we made a whirlwind trip to Smith's Falls/Ottawa this weekend, to visit with Ted's dad and family. That was a nice/uneventful time... other than a stop at the local park in Smith's Falls for the red-neck Canada Day Celebration of the century. Yikes... nary a full mouth of teeth in the whole bunch. But that's not what I wanted to tell you about. ;)

Ted's sister Ali, her husband Mark and their 2 boys decided to tag-along to Ottawa with us to catch the fireworks on Parliament Hill. Zach and Nathan (5 & 4) had never seen a full-fledged fireworks display, so they were ecstatic to watch it all go down from atop uncle Ted and uncle John's shoulders. (Surprisingly heavy little farts. Considering how seemingly light they look.) Yeah, I know I shout it from the rooftops that I don't like kids, but there's something to be said for wonderment and enthusiasm that only a child can muster for things that grown-ups are too dignified and reserved to express. Those 2 little guys might very well forget that night, but I don't think I will. From being convinced that the fireworks were going to burn down the surrounding buildings to asking to stay up on our shoulders for the long walk back to the car (even though we were ready to drop). I do love those little guys.

To Jeff and Summer, thanks so much for the short but sweet visit. We promise the next visit will be long enough to include some quality time instead of the "run, run, run tone" this trip took-on. Jeff, I think we talked about how beautiful your house is for a good half-hour in the car. Thanks again for letting us stay. Cole and Porthos appreciate it too. ; )

Friday, June 29, 2007

June 29th: the Day I Blogged About Nothing

It would figure y'know. It's Friday. The day before the long weekend. Our office is closing at 4pm. I have nothing terribly pressing to work on. But can't think of much to blog about either.

I could talk about Eak's birthday coming up on the 4th, and the really cool present I got for him, but I can't say what it is y'know. We are going for some DELICIOUS Thai food to celebrate. It's difficult to get attendees for his birthday gatherings though, being so close to the first significant long-weekend of the summer n'all. So far we've got 6 friends coming, which is less than half of who was invited, but oh well. I'm sure it will be a good time regardless of numbers... everybody loves Eak. Seriously. I know I wouldn't ordinarily know if anyone didn't, but Eak's one of those people that others can't help but like instantly. (and not just because I'm biased) Poor guy's sick right now though. :( Nothing worse than a cold in the summer.

Well, until inspiration hits me... I think I'll just go Facebook for a while to bide my time. Did you know that "Facebook" is a verb now?? Yeah, just as of this moment. God I hate Facebook. I'm thinking of closing my account now that I've reconnected with a bunch of people. It's good for that if nothing else.

Anyhoo... happy Canada Day to you n'yours. Take a moment to appreciate being a Canadian eh?

Chicane "Don't Give Up"

Don't worry if the sun don't shine
You've seen it before, you don't need to worry
Everyday's an uphill climb - nothing has changed
Believe me when i tell ya

Don't give it up - Don't give it up...

Don't give up - ya know it's true
Gotta do what you wanna do
Don't give up - you don't have to
Gotta do what you wanna do
don't give up - ya know it's true
gotta do what you wanna do

Monday, June 25, 2007

Big Gay Weekend

This past weekend was officially my 3rd time experiencing Gay Pride in Toronto. And by far... this year was the best yet.

There once was a time when I would have told you that I didn't understand the point of "Gay Pride". At that time, I also I would have told you that the Pride parade and all of it's trappings was merely a spectacle that reinforced negative stereotypes and justified the opinions of people who wrongly assumed that all gay people were men in drag, and dressed-up like the Village People, and all lesbians were axe-toting lumberjacks who ride motor cycles and bare their breasts.

It kind of shames me to admit that. Because not only have I missed out on years of celebrations, but I also spent way too much time spouting off that rhetoric to people who would casually ask me if I was going to Pride. God knows, I had my own reasons for not wanting to go. The whole experience can be intimidating when you're insecure about the way you look and if you're not comfortable with your own identity. Hell... people can talk themselves out of anything with fear or insecurities. But the older I've gotten, and the more comfortable I am in my own skin, the more I've realized the reasons behind Pride.

Yeah, it is a spectacle, and it's political, and yeah, for many it's an excuse to drink your face off and party til you're physically unable to continue. But beyond that, it's also a demonstration of one of the most basic human needs: to feel loved, and accepted. And when you live your life being made to feel like you're an anomaly, or an evil pariah by birthright... finding an event like Pride, where hundreds of thousands of people are just like you, can be a very uplifting, spiritually edifying occasion. And when I say "just like you"... I'm generalizing of course, but there's something to be said for mingling/fraternizing/being among people who you might not identify with outwardly and celebrating their diversity right along with your own. 'Cause chances are, they've got some similarly painful experiences of being ostracized or discriminated against for just being who they are - just like you. That... is humbling... and endearing. And you'd be surprised just how many freaks, like-minded freak-loving people, and individuals of every colour of the rainbow (obvious tie-in there) can convene peacefully and celebrate, and abide without violence or incident. That in itself makes a great statement of solidarity and enlightenment - to me anyway.

At any rate, we had a really great time. Friday night, Ted, Rob, and Steve had their official "Girls Nite Out". It's a Pride Friday tradition for like 8 years running now. And every year I drop Ted off and pick him up at some ungodly hour like 3 or 4am. This year I almost tagged along, but I had other stuff to do. But needless to say, I waited up and brought the boys with me to pick up Ted at 3am. There was an accident on the Gardiner Expressway sooo... it took us well over an hour to get home. blah!

Saturday was supposed to be a cleaning/laundry day, but since we didn't get up til close to 11:30, we did S.F.A. 'cause we also had plans to go to the Dyke March with our friend Summer and her friends from Ottawa, then drive to Waterloo to meet up with Ted's sister Ali who was in town for a seminar for work. Time just got away from us so we didn't end-up going to the march. We just went to Waterloo, and had a really nice visit. Then booted-it back to Toronto to meet up with Summer and her friends, and our friends Rob & Jay, for the Indigo Girls concert. -'Turns out, Summer's friend Dawn reads my blog. That was a cool surprise! (Hi Dawn!)- Ted and I knew nothing about the Indigo Girls music before the concert and we were just blown away by the whole experience. It was truly beautiful. Their lyrics are soooo poetic and poignant to being gay in today's society. I think it's only the second time I've ever been moved to tears at a live concert. Once again, I was given the opportunity to just be with my Ted, and be myself, in an atmosphere that was so warm and accepting. The energy of that concert was so heartfelt and deep... you could just feel that everyone there was hanging off their every word at times. I also have to mention, that we really enjoyed the sign-language interpreter that performed the entire concert in the corner of the stage... He emoted every lyric with such passionate movement, it was just beautiful. Also... at the risk of sounding trite... there was this inflatable, flailing-armed tube-man attached to the roof of a building beside the stage that moved in the breeze, adding his own joyful little dance to the festivities. It was cute and celebratory without being a distraction. So, two new Indigo Girls fans walked out of that concert on Saturday. I've made two attempts to find some of their CD's to no avail, but I will. Mark my words.

Before I forget; let me also state that this is the most expensive-looking Pride event I've ever been to. They must've had one helluva budget considering all the stages, security, lighting, free concerts, decorations, and graphic projections on buildings etc. Pretty amazing. Not to mention, it could just be my perception, but I've never seen so many people EVERYWHERE. Who knows? I haven't seen an official count yet. (and upon a quick Google search it would seem they don't take a count, so there you go - I'll just say there were a BILLION-TRILLION people there and you have to take my word for it.)

Anyhoo... after the concert we waited in line on Church street to get into this little restaurant. Everybody was a little tired, and the place was LOUD so the conversations were a little difficult. But towards the time we were getting ready to leave, doesn't this 19 year old cutie named Eric show up at our table with a pitcher of beer and a stack of glasses. Yeah, he was just looking for a perch to drink, but he was very intelligent and funny. In a very short span of time, we learned that he lives near the African Lion Safari, and has his very own pet Llama named Chop Chop. He even had a picture of himself with Chop Chop on his cell phone. He entertained us with a couple of stories and then we bailed on him. At which point, he literally took off out the window with his pitcher of beer. (not one of us took him up on his offer to have some.) He was so adorable though, he probably would've had an audience for a great deal longer had it been just the four drooling men at the table. Anyhow. Good times that night. (didn't get to bed til 3am incidentally)

Sunday morning we were up at 9:30am to make it downtown to hook-up with our friend Arran at the home of one of his friends. There was a rather large group of us there for a hung-over, hazed brunch of sorts. We had Mimosa's (or as I like to call them: Homo-sas) and quiche, and pizza, and all sorts of oven-heated treats. We'd stopped at a bakery beforehand so we brought fresh danish, and Cinnamon bagels, and an apple strudel. Mmmm... food. It was a good group of people too. We just kind of hung-out and then wandered down to Yonge Street to watch the parade. The weather was great, but y'see, I'm a pasty ol' Irish boy. Direct sunlight makes us melt. Luckily SPF 30 does the trick for me and even though I spent 2+ hours in the broiling solar flare conditions, I suffered nay any burns. It was enjoyable. I like being able to see the names of the organizations as they pass by. Groups like PFLAG really warm my heart, so I make sure to cheer extra loud when those proud parents walk by. They deserve it.

I know I'm skipping a lot of detail about the parade right now, but as with any event like that, you really do kinda hafta be there to experience it... the wall of people... throngs of beautiful and freaky people, normal people, families, kids, the elderly... the smiles... the polite and respectful nature of the whole thing... it is something to be proud of.

...AFTER the parade, we hit a shitty little pub called the Village Green. Shitty little pub... no further description required, trust me. But then we made our way over to the Wellesley Stage (same place we saw Indigo Girls) to see Lady Ms Keir (formerly of Deee Lite). That was a fonky, fonky, fonky good time. Ted was like a kid in a candy store, because Deee Lite has always been one of his favourite bands.
That inflatable, flailing-armed tube-man was still there, and you should've seen him boogie to Lady Kier man! Psychedelica! Arran and all of his friends accompanied us, but during the concert we kinda got separated, so it was just me, Ted, Arran and Alex (Arran's room mate). Arran was smashed, wrecked, and plastered. "We" were simply high. Yeah... it was a fun time.

Sadly, just as Rob and Jay found us (with much inaudible cell-phone communication - ie: yelling without knowing whether I was being heard) we had to go to pick up the dogs from Ted's sister Mel's place. They stayed there for a doggie sleepover Saturday afternoon til Sunday evening.

Phew... I know I'm leaving a whole lot out... but I've just gotta post this now, before it's too late to be relevant. If you get the chance though... I really do recommend Pride... whether you're gay, bi, straight, or whatever. It's really not about your sexuality... it's about being who you are and accepting others for who they are. And like I said before. That is something to be proud of.

Thursday, June 21, 2007

Doin' the Pigeon

You Are Bert

Extremely serious and a little eccentric, people find you loveable - even if you don't love them!

You are usually feeling: Logical - you rarely let your emotions rule you

You are famous for: Being smart, a total neat freak, and maybe just a little evil

How you live your life: With passion, even if your odd passions (like bottle caps and pigeons) are baffling to others

Well... Not exactly "DOING" the pigeon. It's a dance you pervs!! If you don't know your Sesame Street, then it's your loss.

I don't normally post this silly kind of stuff (I normally post OTHER silly kinds of stuff). But this was just ...well... pretty accurate.

Let it be known though that I would NOT be letting that UNIBROW go unattended if I had one.

"MY" Puss... Not "YO" Puss! Silly JoMo!

And here it is... as promised... I looked, and I found.

Just as a prelude, I have to say it was much funnier "live" at the True Colors Tour, because Ms Cho had the opportunity to lead into the song with a background character bit. It which she and her "girlfriend" Angela, talked about how they'd been together for 11 years and lived in San Francisco. Margaret plays "Maureen"... a lesbian with a very affected Asian accent, and Angela is a butch dyke from NY or NJ. They shared the secret to perfect cunnilingus... which had a hysterical lead-up to the reveal that it's "spelling the alphabet with your tongue". WHO KNEW peeps?? God knows I'll never try it, but hey... "Go to Town on yo' girl". "Maureen" claimed it helped her learn English. hee hee

Anyhow... back to the video... the introduction to it (at the concert) was that Maureen and Angela have a conservative next door neighbour, who's an old lady who hates homosexuals. And one morning after just having waved hello to the girls she went inside and called to have Angela and Maureen's RV towed because it was partially parked on her property. She didn't ask them to move it... she just had it towed. So to channel their angry feelings... they wrote a rap about this lady, as opposed to resorting to violence. hee hee

So without anymore gum-flappin' from me... "My Puss", by Maureen and Angela.

Wednesday, June 20, 2007

True Colors Recap

Last night was a very unique and uplifting experience, and I don't think I'm ever going to forget it. Speaking of course about the "True Colors Tour" (to benefit the Human Rights Campaign --and Toronto Pride as it turns out.) I've never been to an event (other than Pride) where all the gay folk outnumbered everyone else so blatantly and it was wonderfully liberating to just "be" there. It was an opportunity for friends, and couples and loved-ones in general to relax and be themselves.
Openly-expressed affection was absolutely everywhere and over the course of the evening you couldn't help but feel overwhelmed with gratitude to the organizers... and just downright proud to be a Canadian. We (gay folk) really do have a lot to be thankful for, living where we can be acknowledged for who we are, have same-sex work benefits, insurance policies and the like and the right to be married. Even in the US, (where everything is supposed to be life, liberty and apple pie) they don't enjoy the same liberties and freedoms that we do. And admittedly, sometimes we take that for granted. Last night was a huge reminder.

Now, on the downside... I largely didn't enjoy the music. Granted, we arrived late and near the end of The Dresdon Dolls (I may have misspelled that) set. They were OK. Very artistic, but not very melodic material. Certainly not boring. The entire evening was plagued with sound-system issues and I think the chick from the dolls was a little new to the whole "performing live" mic technique, so most of her vocals were distorted and more than a little unintelligible.

Deborah Harry... ehhhh heh heh... ssssss... let's just say she still sings well. I've never been a fan, not even of Blondie... and quite honestly Deborah Harry's "tired, truck-stop hooker with a hangover" image as a gay icon just mystifies me. But oh well. Good for her. She's there for a good cause, and you have to give her kudos for that. Even if you wished someone off-stage would tell her.... "Uhh, y'know what? You really don't have to move if you don't want to. It won't take anything away from your art." (with reference to her... umm.... dancing??? strutting??? about the stage) I told my boss that she was a bit "sad", to which she replied "Yeah she kind of has that "old whore that's been ridden-hard and put-away wet" look to her." Even now that makes me laugh.

Erasure... I don't get it. I understand they're pioneers. One of, if not the first openly gay pop bands. But the lead-singer dude... god-awful. Again, I was never a fan of Erasure, and I was surprised to learn that I had actually heard a good 3 or 4 songs before in my life. They're lyrics were good. I'll give them that. I also thought it was cool that their entire ensemble (band) consisted of 3 back-up singers and a guy with a MacBook. Too bad the lead singer sounds like Robert Smith (from The Cure) being forced through a juicer by some sharp object. Harsh, yeah. I know. I did enjoy how much the crowd enjoyed them though. The crowd WENT NUTS for Erasure. So Hey... it's all good. I wasn't harmed by it. Just had to derive pleasure from watching everyone else have such a good time.

Cyndi Lauper, was truly wonderful. She opened her show with "I've Got a Hole in My Heart That Goes All the Way to China". lol It was great. This was my first time ever seeing her live and she was just as sweet, and wacky, and down-to-earth as I ever imagined her to be. She was down running around in the audience and shaking hands with the fans. The whole tour was her baby and her vision. And for that, I'm just in awe of what a wonderful lady she is. She played quite a few new songs from her upcoming album, and a few of the classics ("Time After Time", "Money Changes Everything", "I Drove All Night", "Girls Just Wanna Have Fun", and "She Bop" one of my personal favs.) I loved that she covered a Prince song... ("When U Were Mine") cool is that? And she had just the right energy. Again, sound problems were a real issue. There was one point where she was talking to the crowd and introducing a song and there was no sound whatsoever until midway through the song. God only knows what she was saying. I regret not being able to hear. While Cyndi was on-stage the crowd was in a state of perpetual movement whether to the ballads or the up-tempo stuff. One big party. And overall a very emotionally moving evening. For her finale, the entire ensemble of acts from the evening came out on stage to perform "Take a Chance on Me" by ABBA, with giant multi-coloured balloons being launched into the audience. And then the show closed with everyone, (audience included) singing "True Colors". An opportunity for much hugging and swaying... and feeling the freedom to be whole, and safe from the negativity that all gay people endure at one point or another. It was gratifying, and nurturing.

Oh... and before I run... Margaret Cho... HYSTERICAL. She was the epitome of funny. I especially enjoyed the "Yo Puss" rap. I'm going to look for it online, and post it if I can.

Sorry Shawn; no pics. But I did send Cyndi some major Kitty-Luv-Energy!

Tuesday, June 19, 2007

I Distinctly See Ramsay's Aneurysm

Just a quick entry for now... I just have to mention "Hell's Kitchen". The more I watch this show; the more I'm convinced that Chef Ramsay is destined to be the first star of a reality show to die live on camera of an aneurysm. That or be killed by a kitchen-utensil-wielding contestant who just can't take any more of his abuse.

I know most, if not all of this show could very well be scripted, but if it's not, there's no wonder these wannabe-restaurateurs "f**k" up so frequently and so thoroughly. Ramsay is a tyrant. A raving, maniacal tyrant. But there lies the dilemma: if he treated the contestants with any level of human kindness or dignity, the spectacle that is "Hell's Kitchen" wouldn't be nearly as entertaining.

That being said... "Thanks to all that is good in the universe that Aaron will not be returning to the game." My threshold of pain was weakening with every moment he was on-screen. And I can't help but wonder how he made it on the show. I'm guessing the retirement home he cooks for must have held a blue-haired rally to convince him that he simply makes the best stewed cabbage and prune puree that have ever passed over dentures, and surely he could win on that delightful reality TV program.

Goodbye Joanna. Good luck getting another kitchen job after nearly poisoning half a restaurant with rancid crab.

Man, this show is riveting. I say that without even the slightest hint of sarcasm.

Tonight Ted and I are going to the "True Colo(u)rs Tour" (w Cyndi Lauper, Deborah Harry, Erasure and a bunch of acts we've never heard of.) Outdoor show... so wish us luck. The tickets were free, so I guess I shouldn't complain if we get rained-on.

Back to work.

"Hat Full of Stars" by Cyndi Lauper (one of my favourites by her from the now, very-old CD of the same name)

I was folding up your letters
Unpacking winter clothes
Searching for my hat I thought I left it by the door
So I tore around the room
Like a bird without a head
I saw your picture waving back at me
From underneath the bed
From a long, long time ago

When all I had
Was a hat full of stars
The one I'll always treasure
The one that you wore
You loved the look
But you never looked inside
You would have seen us there
You could've seen far
You should've seen the magic
In my hat full of stars

I'm trying to live in the present
But I keep tripping on the past
Finding out reality,
well clarity comes in dribs and drabs
No we never had the time
For everything we had
So it felt like we had nothing
That's what makes this hat so sad
It was a long, long time ago

When all we had
Was a hat full of stars
The one I'll always treasure
The one that you wore
You loved the look
But you never looked inside
You would have seen us there
You could've seen far
You should've seen the magic
In my hat full of stars

Now whenever I'm alone
And I think I might forget
I wear my lucky hat
Just like a crown up on my head

'Cause all I have
Is a hat full of stars...
The one I'll always treasure
The one that you wore
You loved the look
But you never looked inside
If you could see me now
You would've seen far
You should've seen the magic
In my hat full of stars...