Tuesday, September 09, 2008

Me with Martini, Jerome in Bikini

Tomorrow night at this time I will be at a Sam Phillips concert with my dear friend Jerome. Hee!

I'm quite pleased at the opportunity to see both Jerome and Sam, having not seen him for probably a year or her... well... ever.

No, she's not a very well-known singer but I'm a fan from way back when she sang contemporary christian music under her given name: Leslie Phillips. What I didn't know, (thank you Wikipedia) was that she was marketed as the "christian" Cyndi Lauper back in the 80's. Whattayaknow 'bout that? No wonder I liked her so much. However... she evidently wasn't thrilled with that comparison. And I never made the connection on my own, nor had I read a peep about it since 1986 when I first became a fan... so how good was that marketing?

I had come to assume that she adopted a new stage name when she took a step back from her faith and began singing secular fare, but like I said, that's an assumption. She may very well still be a woman of faith. I have read some disparaging remarks she has made about the church and the gospel music industry... but that doesn't make her a full-blown heathen, like me.

Jerome is a much more loyal fan than I, I might add. He's kept up with Sam beyond the expiration of her contract with Virgin Records, whereas, I kinda let 3 albums pop up and pass me by without ever hitting my hot lil hands or gracing my eager ears. Shame on me. Of course, every time I saw one of her CD's released since 2001's Fan Dance... they were outrageously priced. That's the burden of being a lesser known artist I suppose though: music outlets don't buy your work en masse and thereby don't pass any savings on to your awaiting fans.

Luckily, Sam has had some success without fickle poopie-head fans like me, and gained a lot of exposure through the TV show "Gilmore Girls". Jerome enlightened me on that stroke of luck I might add, 'cause I'd never watched Gilmore Girls (still haven't, although I hear it was very good.) and never would have known otherwise. Yay Sam! Sell those records and keep spreading your brilliance!

Her latest album is entitled "Don't Do Anything". I vow I will own it... and Fan Dance and A Boot and a Shoe ...and then my Sam Phillips collection will be complete yet again. She really is a remarkable artist with very intelligent/insightful lyrics. I so recommend her quirky bad-self to whomever will listen.

Here's a really old song (not an actual video) from her first album as Sam Phillips: "I Don't Know How to Say Goodbye to You" from The Indescribable Wow.

And as long as I'm goin' nuts... the lyrics to one of my favourite Sam songs... "I Need Love" from Martinis and Bikinis.

I Need Love

I left my conscience
like a crying child
Locked the door behind me
put the pain on file

Broken like a window
I see my blindness now

And I need love
not some sentimental prison
I need god
not the political church
I need fire
to melt this frozen sea inside me
I need love

Driving into town
tired and depressed
Like a flare a street light
burst an SOS

Peace comes to my rescue
And I don't know what it means

And I need love
not some sentimental prison
I need god
not the political church
I need fire
to melt this frozen sea inside me
I need love

Broken like a window
I see my blindness now
And I need love
not some sentimental prison
I need god
not the political church
I need fire to melt this frozen sea inside me
I need love
I need love
I need love
I need love

Monday, September 08, 2008

Get Out the Way

Mothers with SUV baby buggies are reaching epidemic proportions. I propose that both mother (or father) and child should be destroyed on sight if attempting to board public transit in/with one of these massive contraptions.

I know it's harsh, and it may take time to implement... but really... there is no alternative. A baby should not take up the space of 3 adults (in the aisle no less) on a bus. There is no room to get around them... It's frowned-upon to climb through them... And bus windows are far too small to heft these monster-truck-prams into traffic. (not to mention they're built for off-roading and would likely survive the ejection - so why bother?)

To sound more and more like an elderly person... when I was a child we had tiny strollers that did not impose on other people's rights or ability to utilize public transit. Admittedly inferior for lack of a roof rack, curtain air-bags and a place to stow all shopping bags... these strollers held their precious cargo quite efficiently so the parental figures pushing them did not have to. And isn't that the point??? You really just need your child to be on casters so as not to break your back carryin' 'em around all day right? And to my knowledge the average human infant is born no larger than the babies of yesteryear who weathered the hardship of a lowly stroller. But I suppose in the age of baby bling... one must consider the effects of not being seen in the stroller equivalent of a Hummer.

"Oh god, there's no place to duck in this thing... the other babies will see me!"

At least I can take comfort in the fact that these behemoth baby-movers don't run on fossil fuels. *sigh*

I understand the plight of mothers who must bring baby along on the bus and even that no one can truly silence a crying child if they really wanna cry. But don't tell me you need seating for five and space for a subwoofer to cart your little one to the mall... 'cause you don't... and if you do, you should be walking to the mall and utilizing all that provisional space, not to mention the CAA membership that MUST come as an added feature.

So parents.... get a small stroller for your transit rides... or be destroyed with the knowledge that your selfish life of excess cost your precious offspring his or her life as well ('cause we will be dicing up the baby while you watch). This is how it must be.


Ludacris - Move Bitch

Move bitch,
get out the way
Get out the way bitch,
get out the way

Move bitch,
get out the way
Get out the way bitch,
get out the way

OH NO!
The fight's out
I'ma 'bout to punch yo...lights out
Get the FUCK back,
guard ya grill
There's somethin' wrong,
we can't stay still
I've been drankin' and bustin' two
and I been thankin' of bustin' you
Upside ya motherfuckin' forehead
And if your friends jump in,
"Ohhh gurrlll", they'll be mo' dead

Causin' confusion,
Disturbin Tha Peace
It's not an illusion,
we runnin the streets
So bye-bye to all you groupies and golddiggers
Is there a bumper on your ass?
NO NIGGA!
I'm doin' a hundred on the highway
So if you do the speed limit,
get the FUCK outta my way
I'm D.U.I., hardly ever caught sober
and you about to get ran the FUCK over

[Chorus]

BITCH!
Watch out, watch out, watch out
BITCH!
Watch out, watch out, watch out, move