Sulu Loves Sweaty Basketball Players

http://www.influks.com/post897.html

OMG! This is hysterical! Just had to post a link! You go George!

Zero, Zero, Zero

Since early January, I've been taking Mondays off. It's a way for me to actually take holidays without having to bring in a replacement at work (who just happens to f*** everything up royally while I'm away when he's there). And additionally, I like my long weekends with just me and the dogs and whatever I feel like doing all day. Usually that includes adding music to my iPod, and various household stuff. (Y'know... the glamour that is vacuuming, loading/unloading the dishwasher, laundry... the stuff that reminds you that life doesn't come without it's tedious necessities.)

Not once in this series of extendo-weekends have I written in my Blog. And today I'm determined to make sure I do, since I feel a lot of time I could've spent writing over the past Mondays has been squandered. Don't ask me why I feel this way. I'm a notorious time-waster and you'd think I've learned to subdue my conscience on the topic of things I should be doing. Heh, ...maybe that's what keeps me from turning into a complete couch-potato blob, and I shouldn't really try to overcome that nagging feeling as much as I should listen to it.

Right now I'm going through my collection of (Leslie) Sam Phillips CD's and downloading all my favourite songs from them. That'll be of particular interest to my friend Jerome and probably nobody else. Since Sam's never made much of a name for herself. She's just kinda bubbled-under for 20 years or so. It's both mysterious and understandable at the same time. She's a truly talented songwriter, but her voice is no-doubt an acquired taste in a "Stevie Nicks" kind of way. The closest I think she's come to success is a line-less role in the third Die Hard movie as one of the evil terrorists. (she's quite vicious in the part for someone who says nothing) and having one of her songs featured on Melrose Place and the Melrose Place soundtrack way back when. She also had a song called "Lying" around the same time that charted in Canada, but I think that was only on Much Music. That was from an album called "Cruel Inventions". After that she had one of those critical darling albums called "Martinis and Bikinis" which was highly acclaimed but didn't sell well. Thereafter she kinda torpedoed herself with a concept album that couldn't be considered anything but weird called "Omnipop (It's Only a Flesh Wound Lambchop)". I like it, but I truly can see why no one else might. I encourage you to Google her and take a look at the song titles. They're nothing if not unique. Anything else by Sam Phillips is quite good though. If you like indie simple "Beatleseque" pop-rock, she doesn't disappoint. I still have yet to pick up her two most recent albums (Fan Dance, & A Boot and a Shoe) because they're always so expensively priced. But I still have good intentions to do so.

Anybody catch the premier episode of Amazing Race last night? It's going to be a very, very fun season being that it's full of previous competitors. The "All Stars" edition if you please. Rob & Amber (reality show whores extraordinaire) are back and already hated by the other teams based solely on how they performed during their first time out. I'm already rooting for Uchenna and Joyce again. I love them, and met them in person after they won. Gracious and wonderful people I says. I'm also cheering for the not one, but two gay couples racing this time around. Wow - go Gay Power! I love the Amazing Race when it's not boring. Last season was boring, and the season before that was as well (the family edition - gaahh - couldn't handle it past the first episode.) This one looks very promising. Hey... there's a little person racing. I hear the last time she was on the show she was quite the spectacle hoisting a side of beef over her head that was almost bigger than her. Munchkins and gays and Rob n' Ambah... oh my. Bring on the hi jinx! hee

Of course you knew the song of the day was going to be a Sam Phillips song. "Zero Zero Zero" from Omnipop. Sam had the sense of humour-enough to make this the title of her "Best of/greatest hits" CD (song wasn't actually included on the CD). Aptly titled, considering none of the tracks charted. Gotta love someone who can joke about their status (or lack thereof).

"Zero Zero Zero"

big numbers go by
I close my eyes
I never count
a large amount
my lucky number
is below one
you never know
when you might need a zero

the zero
in my hand
is nothing to lose
it's hard to confuse
power with love
love with power
everything that I'm not
is all that I've got

Nose Hair and Doggie Pics

This morning as I arrived at work I saw something I'm not quite sure how I feel about. There's a currency exchange type store on the ground floor of our office building and the man who tends the store must've been having a slow day. (not that I've EVER seen a customer in there) For lo and behold, isn't he holding up a small mirror and tiny scissors to trim his nose hair for all of Yonge Street's foot-traffic to see. On one hand I'm thinking... "Good on ya mate. Groom that nasty nose hair." And on the other... well... that goes without saying. It's a busy stretch of sidewalk with a clear view from the street... and... well... eww. That's not the place to do it.

I can sympathize, 'cause I have to keep on top of nose hair (and long eyebrow hair) myself, and there's nothing worse than talkin' to some dude, fixated on his obliviousness to his own grooming deficiencies more so than what he's actually saying. --Hey, the temptation to do the "Tarzan Yell", and swing from the offending nasal vines is huge! Admit it.

Anyhow... I suppose it could have been a million times worse considering it's downtown Toronto. Where half-naked men in Santa hats do push-ups on the sidewalk at minus 15 degrees. Think I'm making that up?? "Zanta" is his name. I've ridden the subway with him doing push-ups not 3 feet away. hee So a little nose hair trimming is considerably more tame by comparison I guess.

Changing the subject.... I took some time to clean out our camera's memory card last night and boy oh boy... doggie pictures galore. I promise I'm only posting 3 for now, 'cause they're so damned cute. The first one features me with a bad case of bed head. This was the night that Ted came home from New Orleans, and the boys and I followed him from room to room as he unpacked. Porthos has gotten big huh? Cole's just like... "who signed me up for this... I don't do group photos"!

The second picture is of Cole exerting his rights as top dog to commandeer the rawhide whenever he sees fit (even though he never chews it and this particular morsel is as big as my forearm). It looks like the biggest "dube" known to man and that must be why he looks so pleased with himself to have it. Porthos goes through a rawhide exactly like that, at a rate of about one per week. (When he's not losing them under the bed, under the couch, or under any other piece of furniture and whining for either one of his dad's to retrieve it for him post-haste. He has us trained well.) Those rawhide bones come in a pack of 30 if I recall correctly. $18 at Costco and worth every penny to insure your shoes and anything else a chewing puppy might find interesting, survives. He has yet to chew a shoe incidentally. (knock on wood)

The third photo is just a shining example of Basset Hound determination and a small taste of Porthos' personality/antics.

In this photo... baby dog is stuck. He's trying to get to Cole's little hideaway on the other side of the spare bed (where Cole likes to go to escape Porthos, and sulk, and take his giant dubes... hee) but since he's fast-approaching 70lbs, Porthos quite-simply does not fit. That little space-heater box was placed at the foot of the bed to deter both of them from going in there. a) because Porthos needs to be air-lifted by crane once he's wedged himself in the corner and b) because to keep Cole out of there, removes much of Porthos' desire to journey to the other side of the bed. But on this occasion... Porthos decided to climb the box to get to his destination. Not only was he wedged, but his hind feet were also sufficiently suspended above the floor with no hope of regaining traction. Silly pooch. So like the good father I am... I grabbed the camera rather than help him. ha (a photo op is a photo op) Note the beautiful swirl of butt-hair. He has a matching swirl mirrored on the other side of his tail. Gorgeous from all angles I tells ya! How I love those dogs.

Song of the day... is a bass-heavy soul track by Toni Braxton who's free of a nasty legal battle today. Toni is by Ted's approximation the most incoherent singer on the planet second only to Bob Dylan I suppose. Yeah, she mumbles... but it's supposed to be sultry. Sultry people. Her albums get progressively better with each release. This song is from her most recent CD: "Libra". Love it.

"Sposed to Be" Toni Braxton

I never hafta check his story

Or worry bout him when he's gone

'Cause even when he's not at home

He's right where he said he'd be

Never go to be frustrated

And I never ever ever hafta fake it

'Cause when it comes to our love-makin'

He always seems to please

[Hook]

Say mmm mmm mmm

What he's serving tastes so good to me

Say mmm mmm mmm

He ain't perfect but he does it for me

[Chorus]

My man is tailor-made for me

He comes in just my size

And every time I put him on,

I swear he fits just right

Ooooh yeah

Baby, that's how it's s'posed to be

I ride for him and he's down for me

There ain't no other lady gon' be sexin' my baby but me

And, baby, that's how it's s'posed to be

Knows where every single spot is

Every one he hears that drop

When he wanna get it off

No problem, he knows it's all of me

He ain't up with the games and front, no

The staking on his name means somethin'

We ain't lettin' go for nothin

'We gon' make history

[Hook]

Say mmm mmm mmm

What he's serving tastes so good to me

Say mmm mmm mmm

He ain't perfect but he does it for me

[Chorus]

My man is tailor-made for me

He comes in just my size

And every time I put him on,

I swear he fits just right

Ooooh yeah

Baby, that's how it's s'posed to be

I ride for him and he's down for me

There ain't no other lady gon' be sexin' my baby but me

And, baby, that's how it's s'posed to be

[Bridge]

And I know sometimes we fight

You go your way, I go mine

Still it's you I adore (I adore)

And I put this on my life

As long as I'm alive

Boy, it's you I live for

Oh, baby

That's how it's s'posed to be

He's my baby

Can't nobody take my man from me

[Chorus]

We can "Oh no forget it"

I'm his, that's automatic

His love, I gotta have it

And that's how its s'posed to be

Skeletons and V.D.

***Serious spacing issues with today's blog and try as I might, I cannot fix the problem. My apologies in advance for the big gelatinous blob-blog of text.*** ***And then it fixes itself - ARRGH!***


I realize this has probably been blogged-about ad nauseam by everyone and their dog, but there's something so basically wonderful and tender about it that I just have to document it, if only for my own memories. (my dogs don't blog incidentally). OK, without creating suspense I'm talking about the recent archaeological find of 2 skeletons found in an embrace that has lasted 5 to 6000 years. And being that's it's Valentine's Day and all (which I despise for its commercialism, but appreciate for it's good intentions) I think it's poignant to think that these two souls (assumably) spent their final moments together and passed away while holding one another. It's touching. Additionally, it's old news since the skeletons were found last week, but I've been watching the story, and hope there will be more information as time passes. If not though, I want to remember it. I'm glad the decision has been made to not separate them. I don't think anyone has the right after all this time. As foolish and sentimental as that might sound. Rest in peace.

So given my stance on Valentine's Day, and the fact that I'm a romantic, you'd think that Ted and I do something very special for VD ("HAPPY VD" - what you say to a skank who doesn't wear a condom - har) but no... we don't. And it's largely because we're pretty damned good to one another for the vast majority of the rest of the year. Yeah, I'm sure that sounds all diabetes-sweet but it's true. I did get him a card though. It's about the tragic, sexless lives of teddy bears. I still need to write something sweet inside. Can't be all about horny stuffed animals alone now can it?

In honour of the lovey-doviness that is this day... a romantic song that will forever remind me of my Ted. Happy Valentine's Day.

"Love Me Still" by Chaka Khan

Here is my hand for you to hold
Here's the part of me they have not sold
I've wandered far,
I've had my fill
I need you now,
Do you love me still?

Only you have seen
the hidden part of me
Call me foolhardy if you will
But I loved you when,
Do you love me still?

So many smiles and lies surround me
Empty expectations, faceless fears
Sometimes this life is a bitter pill
I love you now,
Do you love me still?

You have been mine since time untold
Our love is immortal, don't you know
Others will come,
and they will go
But I loved you young,
I'll love you old

Only you have seen,
the other side of me
Call me naive,
I think you will
But I loved you then,
Do you love me still?

Here are the eyes that only see you
Here's the mouth that only calls your name
Here is the soul they can not kill
I love you now,
do you love me still?

You Should Brush Away "Baited" Breath

Quick entry of happy stuff. In recent discussion with co-workers the term "waiting with bated breath" came-up, which resulted in a trivial discussion and a Google search. The conversation; not so interesting but the little poem I found whilst seeking out the definitive spelling was cute and quite memorable, so I thought I'd share.

It's called "Cruel Clever Cat", by Geoffry Taylor.

Sally, having swallowed cheese,
Directs down holes the scented breeze,
Enticing thus with baited breath,
Nice mice to an untimely death.

So the moral of the story is... to wait in anticipation is to wait with "bated" breath (slowed breathing)... to wait with "baited" breath... probably is cause to reach for a toothbrush.

hee

Watched "Running With Scissors" (the movie) on the weekend only because it's the first film adapted from my favourite author's second book. (Augusten Burroughs) Sadly, the movie was good for someone who has read the book, but a disappointment nonetheless, just because it lacked a lot of his funny narrative. Without it, it's startlingly depressing. Which I suppose is fine, considering the atrocities of his childhood, but the book details things with a very witty, dark humour that the movie just couldn't capture. So if I could encourage anyone to read the book "Running With Scissors" I most certainly would, ('cause it's fantastic) but I wouldn't recommend the movie on it's own.

Yeah.

Cheerio then.

"Never the Same" by Supreme Beings of Leisure (one of my favourite groups with a 3rd CD promised to arrive later this year after a long hiatus) This is from their first (self-titled) album. It's funky/chillax electronica.

Soft hands my drug
You taste like home to me
Echoing reverberations
I am now remembering
Your kiss is a dream
Elation's extreme

One step closer
I am one step closer to heaven

And now I'm never the same
Never the same girl twice
Oh no I'm never the same
Never the same girl twice
Not the same girl you loved last night

Mysterious chemistry
Someone's cookin' in the kitchen
Elixir of the pearl
A luscious berry swirl
I'm losin' some sleep
No company I'd rather keep

One step closer
I am one step closer to heaven

And now I'm never the same
Never the same girl twice
Oh no I'm never the same now
Never the same girl twice
Not the same girl you loved last night
Not the same girl you fucked last night

Never the same
Never the same girl twice
Oh no I'm never the same now
Never the same girl twice
Not the same girl you loved last night
Not the same girl you loved last night

Never the same, never the same.
Never the same, never the same.
Never the same, never the same.