Monday, September 08, 2008

Get Out the Way

Mothers with SUV baby buggies are reaching epidemic proportions. I propose that both mother (or father) and child should be destroyed on sight if attempting to board public transit in/with one of these massive contraptions.

I know it's harsh, and it may take time to implement... but really... there is no alternative. A baby should not take up the space of 3 adults (in the aisle no less) on a bus. There is no room to get around them... It's frowned-upon to climb through them... And bus windows are far too small to heft these monster-truck-prams into traffic. (not to mention they're built for off-roading and would likely survive the ejection - so why bother?)

To sound more and more like an elderly person... when I was a child we had tiny strollers that did not impose on other people's rights or ability to utilize public transit. Admittedly inferior for lack of a roof rack, curtain air-bags and a place to stow all shopping bags... these strollers held their precious cargo quite efficiently so the parental figures pushing them did not have to. And isn't that the point??? You really just need your child to be on casters so as not to break your back carryin' 'em around all day right? And to my knowledge the average human infant is born no larger than the babies of yesteryear who weathered the hardship of a lowly stroller. But I suppose in the age of baby bling... one must consider the effects of not being seen in the stroller equivalent of a Hummer.

"Oh god, there's no place to duck in this thing... the other babies will see me!"

At least I can take comfort in the fact that these behemoth baby-movers don't run on fossil fuels. *sigh*

I understand the plight of mothers who must bring baby along on the bus and even that no one can truly silence a crying child if they really wanna cry. But don't tell me you need seating for five and space for a subwoofer to cart your little one to the mall... 'cause you don't... and if you do, you should be walking to the mall and utilizing all that provisional space, not to mention the CAA membership that MUST come as an added feature.

So parents.... get a small stroller for your transit rides... or be destroyed with the knowledge that your selfish life of excess cost your precious offspring his or her life as well ('cause we will be dicing up the baby while you watch). This is how it must be.


Ludacris - Move Bitch

Move bitch,
get out the way
Get out the way bitch,
get out the way

Move bitch,
get out the way
Get out the way bitch,
get out the way

OH NO!
The fight's out
I'ma 'bout to punch yo...lights out
Get the FUCK back,
guard ya grill
There's somethin' wrong,
we can't stay still
I've been drankin' and bustin' two
and I been thankin' of bustin' you
Upside ya motherfuckin' forehead
And if your friends jump in,
"Ohhh gurrlll", they'll be mo' dead

Causin' confusion,
Disturbin Tha Peace
It's not an illusion,
we runnin the streets
So bye-bye to all you groupies and golddiggers
Is there a bumper on your ass?
NO NIGGA!
I'm doin' a hundred on the highway
So if you do the speed limit,
get the FUCK outta my way
I'm D.U.I., hardly ever caught sober
and you about to get ran the FUCK over

[Chorus]

BITCH!
Watch out, watch out, watch out
BITCH!
Watch out, watch out, watch out, move

1 comment:

Misster Kitty said...

YOU GO GRRRRRRRRRL!

Seems yours, N@'s and my 'cycles' have all synced up... She blew a gasget the otherday on the bike-path and I had a postal moment last night walking home... it involved me, my umbrella-ella-ella-ella and an SUV

We, collectively rock.