I am pooooooped. So frickin' exhausted it's not even funny.
Peachy called me up yesterday and we decided to hang out last night. He and his boyfriend "McMac" are good company and we had a nice time just hangin' out doing a whole lotta nothing at Peachy's place. He has a really nice apartment, and kindred that he is, he's a music fanatic, so we always have plenty to listen to or talk about. About a month ago, Peachy bought a new turntable to allow him to actually enjoy his rather sizable record collection. There's something organic and fun about listening to actual LP's, and examining the album art and enjoying an entirely different sound quality. My favourite selection of the night was INXS "Kick". Though I did enjoy being introduced to the music of Morrisey. I've never really explored his stuff. It seems wrist-slittingly honest and raw. I'm not sure how much of it would be good for my outlook on life lately. But I did like it.
Staying entirely too late for a work night is my specialty. Last night was no exception. I left at 11:45 and got home at 12:30. I then turned on my computer so I could leave Skype running for Lion to wake me at 6am like we planned. My computer was misbehaving, so I contacted the tech support that I pay for and asked them to take a look at my computer via remote. After much process and puttering around, I got to bed around 2 and awoke to the "beep beep booping" of Skype, and a smiling, mid-day-hyper Lion at 6:30.
He filled me in on some drama involving his mother's employees, and showed me some things he bought on a recent shopping trip. 2 beautiful jackets, some nice gloves and some cute character-emblazoned boot-slippers (just for women) that he scored in his size. He was giddy about the boot-slippers, and how nice and warm they were, and he started my day with joy.
Coincidentally enough, I was treated to some of his singing, and in classic Lion form... it was him proudly singing "O Canada" ...to the tune of "O Christmas Tree". It's always the first melody that comes to mind for him. Our founding fathers would laugh, and hug him for the light in his eyes and how much he wants to come back.
He's so easy to talk to.
I'm running on a mere 4-plus hours of sleep though. And I'm emotional and on-edge because I confronted Scooter this morning via text. Stuff I feel distraught and hopeless about. We're always a stone's throw from good bye it would seem. It's a stupid issue really. He sucks about text messages and I told him how it made me feel last week, and he was up to the same bullshit last night. So today I told him he's rude, and that I'm mad at him. No word from him yet. If I'm right, he'll use it as an excuse to stay away. Part of me expects him to. Part of me wants him to. Just to call it over, y'know? It is getting late in our game for me to not speak my mind about his behaviour. If he is a lesson in letting go, I have a feeling things are going to come to a head very soon. I will be hurt, and sad, yet again... but I know this time will be easier to just walk away and say I tried. Not everyone is meant to remain in your life. He's always had a question mark.
Lion... is a different story. He'll be around with an exclamation point. Even if it's from the other side of the world for the rest of our lives.
Take solace Johnny. Take solace. You will never be important to everyone you show kindness to. It's just not possible. And the hurting will end. Like everything else.
Click on this one and dance! It's impossible to be still when this song's playing.
Janelle Monae - Tightrope
Whoaaa
Another day
I take your pain away
Some people talk about ya
Like they know all about ya
When you get down they doubt ya
And when you dip it on the scene
Yeah they talkin' bout it
Cause they can't dip on the scene
Whatcha talk about it
T-t-t-talkin' bout it
When you get elevated,
They love it or they hate it
You dance up on them haters
Keep getting funky on the scene
While they jumpin' round ya
They trying to take all of your dreams
But you can't allow it
Cause baby whether you're high or low
Whether you're high or low
You gotta tip on the tightrope
(Tip, tip on it)
T-t-t-tip on the tightrope
(Tip, tip on it)
Baby, baby, baby
Whether you're high or low
(High or low)
Baby whether you're high or low
(High or low)
You got to tip on the tightrope
(Tip, tip on it)
Now let me see you do the tightrope
(Tip, tip on it)
And I'm still tippin' on it
See I'm not walkin' on it
Or tryin' to run around it
This ain't no acrobatics
You either follow or you lead, yeah
I'm talkin' bout you,
I'll keep on blaming the machine, yeah
I'm talkin' bout it,
T-t-t-talkin' bout it
I can't complain about it
I gotta keep my balance
And just keep dancin on it
We gettin funky on the scene
And you know about it,
Like a star on the screen
Watch me tip all on it
Then baby whether I'm high or low
(High or low)
Baby whether you're high or low
(High or low)
Ooh, you gotta tip on the tightrope
(Tip, tip on it)
Yeah, tip on the tightrope
(Tip, tip on it)
Baby, baby, baby
Whether you're high or low
(High or low)
Baby whether you're high or low
(High or low)
Tip on the tightrope
(Tip, tip on it)
Baby let me see you tightrope
(Tip, tip on it)
And I'm still tippin' on it
Big Boi
You gotta keep your balance
Or you fall into the gap
It's a challenge but I manage
Cause I'm cautious with the strap
Doing damage to your canvas that a doctor cannot patch
See why you don't want no friction
Like the back of a matchbook
That I pass as I will forward you
And your MacBook
Clothes shows will shut you down
Before we go-go backwards
Act up, and whether we high or low
We gonna get back up
Like the Dow Jones and NASDAQ
Sorta like a thong in a ass crack,
Come on
I tip on alligators and little rattle snakers
But I'm another flavor
Something like a terminator
Ain't no equivocating
I fight for what I believe
Why you talkin' bout it
S-s-she's talkin' bout it
Some callin' me a sinner
Some callin' me a winner
I'm callin' you to dinner
And you know exactly what I mean,
Yeah I'm talkin' bout you
You can rock or you can leave
Watch me tip without you
N-N-Now whether I'm high or low
(High or low)
Whether I'm high or low
(High or low)
I'm gonna tip on the tightrope
(Tip, tip on it)
MMMMMM
(Tip, tip on it)
Baby, baby
Whether I'm high or low
(High or low)
High or low
(High or low)
I got to tip on the tightrope
(Tip, tip on it)
Now baby tip on the tightrope
You can't get too high
(You can't get too high)
I said you can't get too low
(We can't get too low)
Cause you get too high
(You can't get too high)
No you'll surely be low
(No, you'll surely be low)
1, 2, 3, Ho!
Yeah, yeah
Now shut up, yeah
Yeah, now put some voodoo on it
Ladies and gentlemen the funkiest horn section in Metropolis
Yeah, oh
We call that Classy Brass!
Ohhhhhhh
OH!
Do you mind?
If I play the ukulele
Just like a little lady
Do you mind?
If I play the ukulele
Just like a little lady
As I play the ukulele
If I play my ukulele
Just like a little lady
(Happy birthday fades to end)
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