Wednesday, September 06, 2006

Boom Boom Aka Laka Laka Boom

September 03

A sleeping puppy truly provides the perfect backdrop for a lazy Sunday morning that should be spent cleaning, and cooking and doing otherwise more productive things. But doing those otherwise more productive things would distract/entertain/stimulate said-puppy and that would be wrong in more ways than I can count. So my suggestion to the unmotivated and the lazy, is to let sleeping dogs lie and let your thoughts flow on the internet. hee

Last night when I took the dogs out in the rain there was this moment of perfect chaos where you silently wonder whether the world is coming to an end. Not that I'm on the lookout for such an event, but when I stepped outside in the parking lot to cross over to the lawn, there were a couple of fire trucks screaming past, a car alarm going off to my left (no theft in progress that I could see) and then an ambulance howling after the firetrucks. Dogs don't care about this type of thing although they should give it some thought considering none of the faint-of-heart little creatures they like to chase (squirrels and birds) would dare be out in the open during a noise-fest from hell like that particular moment. But I was definitely taking note of all that was going on. Every disaster movie ever made contains some blaring car alarm after-all, and coupled with all the sirens, I thought maybe I'd wandered outside at an inopportune moment that would possibly end like it would in one of those movies... y'know hapless fat-guy walking dogs, doesn't notice towering T-rex until he's suddenly looking at a huge set of tonsils and can't feel his legs anymore because they've been left twitching and spasming on the rain-soaked pavement.

Needless to say, that didn't happen, and even though I've heard they're making a Jurassic Park 4, I hereby claim ownership of that scene and there had better not be any gratuitous violence towards animals (namely the dogs) therein.

Ahem... back to the car alarm. I got to thinking that nobody really listens to car alarms anymore, and I personally hardly ever hear them myself. Now whether that's because they aren't being set-off or I'm just not noticing, I couldn't discern honestly. But maybe I'm not hearing car alarms like I used to because people are actually getting the hang of them. That'd be a nice thing. And it's a possibility, because of keyless entry. Who uses their keys to unlock their car anymore right? Now that in turn, got me thinking about how foreign that would have seemed to me 20 years ago and how inevitably, we're one the verge of entirely keyless cars even for the ignition. I'm sure some uselessly rich people already possess these cars, but eventually it'll go wide spread because they'll be completely secure somehow and yadda yadda yadda. So that got me thinking about a voice activated car ignition, and how we'll likely have to program a cars settings one day upon taking ownership. Y'know, give your car a password of sorts and a keyword to start the engine using your voice only. Now if you had a car like that... what would you say to it to make it start? "Engine on?", "Car start?", "Go go gadget car?" All of those don't sound nearly clever enough for me, but at the same time, you don't want to pick something embarrassing to say to turn on your car. I say this because the Trekkie in me was thinking "oh that's simple, I'd just program my car to respond to "engage" and "disengage"... y'know... proper, simple, to-the-point... but Hello!! Nerdy. So what could I tell my car to do that wouldn't become tedious over time? Here's the part where you expect me to have a witty answer for that question, but I don't - 'cause I was on the lookout for salivating carnivorous dinosaurs in the parking lot on my way back in from walking the dogs.

Hence-forth... completely useless ramblings like what you just endured, will be known as "Thought Processes". I have them all the time. And whether or not they air my dirty laundry as one of those crazy people you see roaming Yonge Street in downtown Toronto talking to no one in particular and everyone at once simultaneously... I won't likely ever know, but I figure as long as I can swing them around to come to some kind of coherent point... they will continue to amuse me.

Puppy's still asleep. But farting. I swear it's not me... so I guess it's time to brave the dinosaurs again.

Was (Not Was)Walk the Dinosaur

Boom boom acka-lacka lacka boom
Boom boom acka-lacka boom boom
Boom boom acka-lacka lacka boom
Boom boom acka-lacka boom boom

It was a night like this forty million years ago
I lit a cigarette, picked up a monkey skull to go
The sun was spitting fire, the sky was blue as ice
I felt a little tired, so I watched Miami Vice
I walked the dinosaur, I walked the dinosaur

Open the door, get on the floor, everybody walk the dinosaur
Open the door, get on the floor, everybody walk the dinosaur
Open the door, get on the floor, everybody walk the dinosaur
Open the door, get on the floor, everybody walk the dinosaur

I met you in a cave, you were painting buffalo
I said I'd be your slave, follow you wherever you go
That night we split a rattlesnake and danced beneath the stars
You fell asleep, I stayed awake and watched the passing cars
And walked the dinosaur, I walked the dinosaur

One night I dreamed of New York
You and I roasting blue pork
In the Statue of Liberty's torch
Elvis landed in a rock-rock-rocket ship
Healed a couple of lepers and disappeared
But where was his beard
A shadow from the sky much too big to be a bird
A screaming crashing noise louder than I've ever heard
It looked like two big silver trees that somehow learned to soar
Suddenly a summer breeze and a mighty lion's roar
I killed the dinosaur, I killed the dinosaur

Open the door, get on the floor, everybody kill the dinosaur

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