http://www.influks.com/post897.html
OMG! This is hysterical! Just had to post a link! You go George!
Thursday, February 22, 2007
Monday, February 19, 2007
Zero, Zero, Zero
Since early January, I've been taking Mondays off. It's a way for me to actually take holidays without having to bring in a replacement at work (who just happens to f*** everything up royally while I'm away when he's there). And additionally, I like my long weekends with just me and the dogs and whatever I feel like doing all day. Usually that includes adding music to my iPod, and various household stuff. (Y'know... the glamour that is vacuuming, loading/unloading the dishwasher, laundry... the stuff that reminds you that life doesn't come without it's tedious necessities.)
Not once in this series of extendo-weekends have I written in my Blog. And today I'm determined to make sure I do, since I feel a lot of time I could've spent writing over the past Mondays has been squandered. Don't ask me why I feel this way. I'm a notorious time-waster and you'd think I've learned to subdue my conscience on the topic of things I should be doing. Heh, ...maybe that's what keeps me from turning into a complete couch-potato blob, and I shouldn't really try to overcome that nagging feeling as much as I should listen to it.
Right now I'm going through my collection of (Leslie) Sam Phillips CD's and downloading all my favourite songs from them. That'll be of particular interest to my friend Jerome and probably nobody else. Since Sam's never made much of a name for herself. She's just kinda bubbled-under for 20 years or so. It's both mysterious and understandable at the same time. She's a truly talented songwriter, but her voice is no-doubt an acquired taste in a "Stevie Nicks" kind of way. The closest I think she's come to success is a line-less role in the third Die Hard movie as one of the evil terrorists. (she's quite vicious in the part for someone who says nothing) and having one of her songs featured on Melrose Place and the Melrose Place soundtrack way back when. She also had a song called "Lying" around the same time that charted in Canada, but I think that was only on Much Music. That was from an album called "Cruel Inventions". After that she had one of those critical darling albums called "Martinis and Bikinis" which was highly acclaimed but didn't sell well. Thereafter she kinda torpedoed herself with a concept album that couldn't be considered anything but weird called "Omnipop (It's Only a Flesh Wound Lambchop)". I like it, but I truly can see why no one else might. I encourage you to Google her and take a look at the song titles. They're nothing if not unique. Anything else by Sam Phillips is quite good though. If you like indie simple "Beatleseque" pop-rock, she doesn't disappoint. I still have yet to pick up her two most recent albums (Fan Dance, & A Boot and a Shoe) because they're always so expensively priced. But I still have good intentions to do so.
Anybody catch the premier episode of Amazing Race last night? It's going to be a very, very fun season being that it's full of previous competitors. The "All Stars" edition if you please. Rob & Amber (reality show whores extraordinaire) are back and already hated by the other teams based solely on how they performed during their first time out. I'm already rooting for Uchenna and Joyce again. I love them, and met them in person after they won. Gracious and wonderful people I says. I'm also cheering for the not one, but two gay couples racing this time around. Wow - go Gay Power! I love the Amazing Race when it's not boring. Last season was boring, and the season before that was as well (the family edition - gaahh - couldn't handle it past the first episode.) This one looks very promising. Hey... there's a little person racing. I hear the last time she was on the show she was quite the spectacle hoisting a side of beef over her head that was almost bigger than her. Munchkins and gays and Rob n' Ambah... oh my. Bring on the hi jinx! hee
Of course you knew the song of the day was going to be a Sam Phillips song. "Zero Zero Zero" from Omnipop. Sam had the sense of humour-enough to make this the title of her "Best of/greatest hits" CD (song wasn't actually included on the CD). Aptly titled, considering none of the tracks charted. Gotta love someone who can joke about their status (or lack thereof).
"Zero Zero Zero"
big numbers go by
I close my eyes
I never count
a large amount
my lucky number
is below one
you never know
when you might need a zero
the zero
in my hand
is nothing to lose
it's hard to confuse
power with love
love with power
everything that I'm not
is all that I've got
Not once in this series of extendo-weekends have I written in my Blog. And today I'm determined to make sure I do, since I feel a lot of time I could've spent writing over the past Mondays has been squandered. Don't ask me why I feel this way. I'm a notorious time-waster and you'd think I've learned to subdue my conscience on the topic of things I should be doing. Heh, ...maybe that's what keeps me from turning into a complete couch-potato blob, and I shouldn't really try to overcome that nagging feeling as much as I should listen to it.
Right now I'm going through my collection of (Leslie) Sam Phillips CD's and downloading all my favourite songs from them. That'll be of particular interest to my friend Jerome and probably nobody else. Since Sam's never made much of a name for herself. She's just kinda bubbled-under for 20 years or so. It's both mysterious and understandable at the same time. She's a truly talented songwriter, but her voice is no-doubt an acquired taste in a "Stevie Nicks" kind of way. The closest I think she's come to success is a line-less role in the third Die Hard movie as one of the evil terrorists. (she's quite vicious in the part for someone who says nothing) and having one of her songs featured on Melrose Place and the Melrose Place soundtrack way back when. She also had a song called "Lying" around the same time that charted in Canada, but I think that was only on Much Music. That was from an album called "Cruel Inventions". After that she had one of those critical darling albums called "Martinis and Bikinis" which was highly acclaimed but didn't sell well. Thereafter she kinda torpedoed herself with a concept album that couldn't be considered anything but weird called "Omnipop (It's Only a Flesh Wound Lambchop)". I like it, but I truly can see why no one else might. I encourage you to Google her and take a look at the song titles. They're nothing if not unique. Anything else by Sam Phillips is quite good though. If you like indie simple "Beatleseque" pop-rock, she doesn't disappoint. I still have yet to pick up her two most recent albums (Fan Dance, & A Boot and a Shoe) because they're always so expensively priced. But I still have good intentions to do so.
Anybody catch the premier episode of Amazing Race last night? It's going to be a very, very fun season being that it's full of previous competitors. The "All Stars" edition if you please. Rob & Amber (reality show whores extraordinaire) are back and already hated by the other teams based solely on how they performed during their first time out. I'm already rooting for Uchenna and Joyce again. I love them, and met them in person after they won. Gracious and wonderful people I says. I'm also cheering for the not one, but two gay couples racing this time around. Wow - go Gay Power! I love the Amazing Race when it's not boring. Last season was boring, and the season before that was as well (the family edition - gaahh - couldn't handle it past the first episode.) This one looks very promising. Hey... there's a little person racing. I hear the last time she was on the show she was quite the spectacle hoisting a side of beef over her head that was almost bigger than her. Munchkins and gays and Rob n' Ambah... oh my. Bring on the hi jinx! hee
Of course you knew the song of the day was going to be a Sam Phillips song. "Zero Zero Zero" from Omnipop. Sam had the sense of humour-enough to make this the title of her "Best of/greatest hits" CD (song wasn't actually included on the CD). Aptly titled, considering none of the tracks charted. Gotta love someone who can joke about their status (or lack thereof).
"Zero Zero Zero"
big numbers go by
I close my eyes
I never count
a large amount
my lucky number
is below one
you never know
when you might need a zero
the zero
in my hand
is nothing to lose
it's hard to confuse
power with love
love with power
everything that I'm not
is all that I've got
Thursday, February 15, 2007
Nose Hair and Doggie Pics
This morning as I arrived at work I saw something I'm not quite sure how I feel about. There's a currency exchange type store on the ground floor of our office building and the man who tends the store must've been having a slow day. (not that I've EVER seen a customer in there) For lo and behold, isn't he holding up a small mirror and tiny scissors to trim his nose hair for all of Yonge Street's foot-traffic to see. On one hand I'm thinking... "Good on ya mate. Groom that nasty nose hair." And on the other... well... that goes without saying. It's a busy stretch of sidewalk with a clear view from the street... and... well... eww. That's not the place to do it.
Changing the subject.... I took some time to clean out our camera's memory card last night and boy oh boy... doggie pictures galore. I promise I'm only posting 3 for now, 'cause they're so damned cute. The first one features me with a bad case of bed head.
This was the night that Ted came home from New Orleans, and the boys and I followed him from room to room as he unpacked. Porthos has gotten big huh? Cole's just like... "who signed me up for this... I don't do group photos"!
The third photo is just a shining example of Basset Hound determination and a small taste of Porthos' personality/antics.
I can sympathize, 'cause I have to keep on top of nose hair (and long eyebrow hair) myself, and there's nothing worse than talkin' to some dude, fixated on his obliviousness to his own grooming deficiencies more so than what he's actually saying. --Hey, the temptation to do the "Tarzan Yell", and swing from the offending nasal vines is huge! Admit it.
Anyhow... I suppose it could have been a million times worse considering it's downtown Toronto. Where half-naked men in Santa hats do push-ups on the sidewalk at minus 15 degrees. Think I'm making that up?? "Zanta" is his name. I've ridden the subway with him doing push-ups not 3 feet away. hee So a little nose hair trimming is considerably more tame by comparison I guess.
Changing the subject.... I took some time to clean out our camera's memory card last night and boy oh boy... doggie pictures galore. I promise I'm only posting 3 for now, 'cause they're so damned cute. The first one features me with a bad case of bed head.
This was the night that Ted came home from New Orleans, and the boys and I followed him from room to room as he unpacked. Porthos has gotten big huh? Cole's just like... "who signed me up for this... I don't do group photos"!The second picture is of Cole exerting his rights as top dog to commandeer the rawhide whenever he sees fit (even though he never chews it and this particular morsel is as big as my forearm). It looks like the biggest "dube" known to man and that must be why he looks so pleased with himself to have it. Porthos goes through a rawhide exactly like that, at a rate of about one 
per week. (When he's not losing them under the bed, under the couch, or under any other piece of furniture and whining for either one of his dad's to retrieve it for him post-haste. He has us trained well.) Those rawhide bones come in a pack of 30 if I recall correctly. $18 at Costco and worth every penny to insure your shoes and anything else a chewing puppy might find interesting, survives. He has yet to chew a shoe incidentally. (knock on wood)
per week. (When he's not losing them under the bed, under the couch, or under any other piece of furniture and whining for either one of his dad's to retrieve it for him post-haste. He has us trained well.) Those rawhide bones come in a pack of 30 if I recall correctly. $18 at Costco and worth every penny to insure your shoes and anything else a chewing puppy might find interesting, survives. He has yet to chew a shoe incidentally. (knock on wood)The third photo is just a shining example of Basset Hound determination and a small taste of Porthos' personality/antics.
In this photo... baby dog is stuck. He's trying to get to Cole's little hideaway on the other side of the spare bed (where Cole likes to go to escape Porthos, and sulk, and take his giant dubes... hee) but since he's fast-approaching 70lbs, Porthos quite-simply does not fit. That little space-heater box was placed at the foot of the bed to deter both of them from going in there. a) because Porthos needs to be air-lifted by crane once he's wedged himself in the corner and b) because to keep Cole out of there, removes much of Porthos' desire to journey to the other side of the bed. But on this occasion... Porthos decided to climb the box to get to his destination. Not only was he wedged, but his hind feet were also sufficiently suspended above the floor with no hope of regaining traction. Silly pooch. So like the good father I am... I grabbed the camera rather than help him. ha (a photo op is a photo op) Note the beautiful swirl of butt-hair. He has a matching swirl mirrored on the other side of his tail. Gorgeous from all angles I tells ya! How I love those dogs.
Song of the day... is a bass-heavy soul track by Toni Braxton who's free of a nasty legal battle today. Toni is by Ted's approximation the most incoherent singer on the planet second only to Bob Dylan I suppose. Yeah, she mumbles... but it's supposed to be sultry. Sultry people. Her albums get progressively better with each release. This song is from her most recent CD: "Libra". Love it.
"Sposed to Be" Toni Braxton
I never hafta check his story
Or worry bout him when he's gone
'Cause even when he's not at home
He's right where he said he'd be
Never go to be frustrated
And I never ever ever hafta fake it
'Cause when it comes to our love-makin'
He always seems to please
[Hook]
Say mmm mmm mmm
What he's serving tastes so good to me
Say mmm mmm mmm
He ain't perfect but he does it for me
[Chorus]
My man is tailor-made for me
He comes in just my size
And every time I put him on,
I swear he fits just right
Ooooh yeah
Baby, that's how it's s'posed to be
I ride for him and he's down for me
There ain't no other lady gon' be sexin' my baby but me
And, baby, that's how it's s'posed to be
Knows where every single spot is
Every one he hears that drop
When he wanna get it off
No problem, he knows it's all of me
He ain't up with the games and front, no
The staking on his name means somethin'
We ain't lettin' go for nothin
'We gon' make history
[Hook]
Say mmm mmm mmm
What he's serving tastes so good to me
Say mmm mmm mmm
He ain't perfect but he does it for me
[Chorus]
My man is tailor-made for me
He comes in just my size
And every time I put him on,
I swear he fits just right
Ooooh yeah
Baby, that's how it's s'posed to be
I ride for him and he's down for me
There ain't no other lady gon' be sexin' my baby but me
And, baby, that's how it's s'posed to be
[Bridge]
And I know sometimes we fight
You go your way, I go mine
Still it's you I adore (I adore)
And I put this on my life
As long as I'm alive
Boy, it's you I live for
Oh, baby
That's how it's s'posed to be
He's my baby
Can't nobody take my man from me
[Chorus]
We can "Oh no forget it"
I'm his, that's automatic
His love, I gotta have it
And that's how its s'posed to be
Wednesday, February 14, 2007
Skeletons and V.D.
***Serious spacing issues with today's blog and try as I might, I cannot fix the problem. My apologies in advance for the big gelatinous blob-blog of text.*** ***And then it fixes itself - ARRGH!***
I realize this has probably been blogged-about ad nauseam by everyone and their dog, but there's something so basically wonderful and tender about it that I just have to document it, if only for my own memories. (my dogs don't blog incidentally). OK, without creating suspense I'm talking about the recent archaeological find of 2 skeletons found in an embrace that has lasted 5 to 6000 years.
And being that's it's Valentine's Day and all (which I despise for its commercialism, but appreciate for it's good intentions) I think it's poignant to think that these two souls (assumably) spent their final moments together and passed away while holding one another. It's touching. Additionally, it's old news since the skeletons were found last week, but I've been watching the story, and hope there will be more information as time passes. If not though, I want to remember it. I'm glad the decision has been made to not separate them. I don't think anyone has the right after all this time. As foolish and sentimental as that might sound. Rest in peace.
So given my stance on Valentine's Day, and the fact that I'm a romantic, you'd think that Ted and I do something very special for VD ("HAPPY VD" - what you say to a skank who doesn't wear a condom - har) but no... we don't. And it's largely because we're pretty damned good to one another for the vast majority of the rest of the year. Yeah, I'm sure that sounds all diabetes-sweet but it's true. I did get him a card though. It's about the tragic, sexless lives of teddy bears. I still need to write something sweet inside. Can't be all about horny stuffed animals alone now can it?
In honour of the lovey-doviness that is this day... a romantic song that will forever remind me of my Ted. Happy Valentine's Day.
"Love Me Still" by Chaka Khan
Here is my hand for you to hold
Here's the part of me they have not sold
I've wandered far,
I've had my fill
I need you now,
Do you love me still?
Only you have seen
the hidden part of me
Call me foolhardy if you will
But I loved you when,
Do you love me still?
So many smiles and lies surround me
Empty expectations, faceless fears
Sometimes this life is a bitter pill
I love you now,
Do you love me still?
You have been mine since time untold
Our love is immortal, don't you know
Others will come,
and they will go
But I loved you young,
I'll love you old
Only you have seen,
the other side of me
Call me naive,
I think you will
But I loved you then,
Do you love me still?
Here are the eyes that only see you
Here's the mouth that only calls your name
Here is the soul they can not kill
I love you now,
do you love me still?
I realize this has probably been blogged-about ad nauseam by everyone and their dog, but there's something so basically wonderful and tender about it that I just have to document it, if only for my own memories. (my dogs don't blog incidentally). OK, without creating suspense I'm talking about the recent archaeological find of 2 skeletons found in an embrace that has lasted 5 to 6000 years.
And being that's it's Valentine's Day and all (which I despise for its commercialism, but appreciate for it's good intentions) I think it's poignant to think that these two souls (assumably) spent their final moments together and passed away while holding one another. It's touching. Additionally, it's old news since the skeletons were found last week, but I've been watching the story, and hope there will be more information as time passes. If not though, I want to remember it. I'm glad the decision has been made to not separate them. I don't think anyone has the right after all this time. As foolish and sentimental as that might sound. Rest in peace.So given my stance on Valentine's Day, and the fact that I'm a romantic, you'd think that Ted and I do something very special for VD ("HAPPY VD" - what you say to a skank who doesn't wear a condom - har) but no... we don't. And it's largely because we're pretty damned good to one another for the vast majority of the rest of the year. Yeah, I'm sure that sounds all diabetes-sweet but it's true. I did get him a card though. It's about the tragic, sexless lives of teddy bears. I still need to write something sweet inside. Can't be all about horny stuffed animals alone now can it?
In honour of the lovey-doviness that is this day... a romantic song that will forever remind me of my Ted. Happy Valentine's Day.
"Love Me Still" by Chaka Khan
Here is my hand for you to hold
Here's the part of me they have not sold
I've wandered far,
I've had my fill
I need you now,
Do you love me still?
Only you have seen
the hidden part of me
Call me foolhardy if you will
But I loved you when,
Do you love me still?
So many smiles and lies surround me
Empty expectations, faceless fears
Sometimes this life is a bitter pill
I love you now,
Do you love me still?
You have been mine since time untold
Our love is immortal, don't you know
Others will come,
and they will go
But I loved you young,
I'll love you old
Only you have seen,
the other side of me
Call me naive,
I think you will
But I loved you then,
Do you love me still?
Here are the eyes that only see you
Here's the mouth that only calls your name
Here is the soul they can not kill
I love you now,
do you love me still?
Tuesday, February 13, 2007
You Should Brush Away "Baited" Breath
Quick entry of happy stuff. In recent discussion with co-workers the term "waiting with bated breath" came-up, which resulted in a trivial discussion and a Google search. The conversation; not so interesting but the little poem I found whilst seeking out the definitive spelling was cute and quite memorable, so I thought I'd share.
It's called "Cruel Clever Cat", by Geoffry Taylor.
Sally, having swallowed cheese,
Directs down holes the scented breeze,
Enticing thus with baited breath,
Nice mice to an untimely death.
So the moral of the story is... to wait in anticipation is to wait with "bated" breath (slowed breathing)... to wait with "baited" breath... probably is cause to reach for a toothbrush.
hee
Watched "Running With Scissors" (the movie) on the weekend only because it's the first film adapted from my favourite author's second book. (Augusten Burroughs) Sadly, the movie was good for someone who has read the book, but a disappointment nonetheless, just because it lacked a lot of his funny narrative. Without it, it's startlingly depressing. Which I suppose is fine, considering the atrocities of his childhood, but the book details things with a very witty, dark humour that the movie just couldn't capture. So if I could encourage anyone to read the book "Running With Scissors" I most certainly would, ('cause it's fantastic) but I wouldn't recommend the movie on it's own.
Yeah.
Cheerio then.
"Never the Same" by Supreme Beings of Leisure (one of my favourite groups with a 3rd CD promised to arrive later this year after a long hiatus) This is from their first (self-titled) album. It's funky/chillax electronica.
Soft hands my drug
You taste like home to me
Echoing reverberations
I am now remembering
Your kiss is a dream
Elation's extreme
One step closer
I am one step closer to heaven
And now I'm never the same
Never the same girl twice
Oh no I'm never the same
Never the same girl twice
Not the same girl you loved last night
Mysterious chemistry
Someone's cookin' in the kitchen
Elixir of the pearl
A luscious berry swirl
I'm losin' some sleep
No company I'd rather keep
One step closer
I am one step closer to heaven
And now I'm never the same
Never the same girl twice
Oh no I'm never the same now
Never the same girl twice
Not the same girl you loved last night
Not the same girl you fucked last night
Never the same
Never the same girl twice
Oh no I'm never the same now
Never the same girl twice
Not the same girl you loved last night
Not the same girl you loved last night
Never the same, never the same.
Never the same, never the same.
Never the same, never the same.
It's called "Cruel Clever Cat", by Geoffry Taylor.
Sally, having swallowed cheese,
Directs down holes the scented breeze,
Enticing thus with baited breath,
Nice mice to an untimely death.
So the moral of the story is... to wait in anticipation is to wait with "bated" breath (slowed breathing)... to wait with "baited" breath... probably is cause to reach for a toothbrush.
hee
Watched "Running With Scissors" (the movie) on the weekend only because it's the first film adapted from my favourite author's second book. (Augusten Burroughs) Sadly, the movie was good for someone who has read the book, but a disappointment nonetheless, just because it lacked a lot of his funny narrative. Without it, it's startlingly depressing. Which I suppose is fine, considering the atrocities of his childhood, but the book details things with a very witty, dark humour that the movie just couldn't capture. So if I could encourage anyone to read the book "Running With Scissors" I most certainly would, ('cause it's fantastic) but I wouldn't recommend the movie on it's own.
Yeah.
Cheerio then.
"Never the Same" by Supreme Beings of Leisure (one of my favourite groups with a 3rd CD promised to arrive later this year after a long hiatus) This is from their first (self-titled) album. It's funky/chillax electronica.
Soft hands my drug
You taste like home to me
Echoing reverberations
I am now remembering
Your kiss is a dream
Elation's extreme
One step closer
I am one step closer to heaven
And now I'm never the same
Never the same girl twice
Oh no I'm never the same
Never the same girl twice
Not the same girl you loved last night
Mysterious chemistry
Someone's cookin' in the kitchen
Elixir of the pearl
A luscious berry swirl
I'm losin' some sleep
No company I'd rather keep
One step closer
I am one step closer to heaven
And now I'm never the same
Never the same girl twice
Oh no I'm never the same now
Never the same girl twice
Not the same girl you loved last night
Not the same girl you fucked last night
Never the same
Never the same girl twice
Oh no I'm never the same now
Never the same girl twice
Not the same girl you loved last night
Not the same girl you loved last night
Never the same, never the same.
Never the same, never the same.
Never the same, never the same.
Wednesday, January 31, 2007
Super Bowel Sunday Approacheth
Hey there!
This isn't going to be a blog entry as much as it will be a mish-mash of things I'd just like to document, now that I've got an evening just to chill. I can't believe I've only made 2 other entries this month, but hey, nowhere did I mention that my goal was to blog more often right?? Funny how I feel disappointment over it though. Oh well.
Speaking of funny, I want to mention before I forget that Ted and I were invited to a Super "Bowel" party this weekend. hee A friend of mine with notoriously bad spelling has opened his heart and home to all his friends, and I'm hoping to God it's a football party and not some kinda "skat" party. (if you don't know what skat is... I suggest you not look it up. And assume that I fear a freestyle jazz-singing fete.) Teasing of course; it is most certainly a football party as he asked everyone to wear (spelled "ware") the proper attire. Specifically, shoulder pads and jock straps and not much else. hee. You'd have to know him. He's a sweetie with a constant smile on his face and an easy laugh. So viva le Super Bowel!
In other news... "heavens to mergatroid" do I love my iPod!!! The new 30gig one I got for my birthday. It truly is the most genius musical medium invention ever imagined. I'm still loading music on it and I'm up to almost 1700 songs. It holds 7500. There's nothing quite like it in the world for a music lover. And Ted is loving my nano even though it's a hand-me-down. God bless you Apple dude, whatever the hell your name is. you deserve to be rich.
Ahh, as I sit here with the dogs missing Ted (who's away in New Orleans - yep Louisiana - for a Sales Conference til Friday.) I'm wondering what I'd ever do without him. I truly do feel incomplete without him as hokey as that might sound. I'm just a hapless boob without him in a lot of ways. When he's not around I just kind of putter around in my underwear, wondering if I should make the bed at 9pm at night. I know, that's awful, but I never - ok rarely - make the bed. Ted claims I just don't do it right. And I must confess to sympathizing with those slob-type guys who don't quite get the point of making the bed when you're only going to mess it up again each night. Yeah, yeah, not when company's coming n' all that, but sheesh. Luckily I have Ted to make sure I'm getting into a fresh, tightly tucked bed each night. I miss him when he's not here, and I don't sleep as well... that's for sure.
Last night I had one of those "is it a dream" dreams in which some lady called and left 87 messages on our answering machine (and kept waking me up -in the dream- but not actually). She was distraught and looking to contact her daughter whom she believed to be away vacationing with her boyfriend in Jamaica. Her daughter had not returned home yet and she was understandably upset to have not heard from her. Finally I got up to answer her 88th call to break the news to her that she was calling the wrong number and waking me up with each call. Audibly disappointed, she promised me that she wouldn't call again, and we said good-bye. It was then that I realize I was in a house that wasn't my own, and all the windows were exposed and there was a huge outdoor concert going on across a field behind the house with crowds mulling about and people crossing the lawn and seeing me through the windows. I'm never one to just let people see in, so I went about the task of drawing all the curtains and shades in the house (as if it were mine and I knew exactly where every window was). Then the phone rings again, and it's the boyfriend of the missing daughter, calling to ask if I had heard from the mother and to tell her they were both fine if I heard from her again. Bizarro! But it gets more weird from there... because when I tell him that he just missed her for the 88th time... he tells me that I sound really good to him and initiates phone sex. Yee haw. But of course, as I always do when the dream's getting sexual... I wake up! To the sound of the damned alarm on our stereo that's set for 5:30am. The alarm that I have no idea how to unset, because it's so damned complicated and Ted always takes care of it. So until he returns I will be waking up at 5:30am to shut it off and wait for my cell phone to give me my proper wake-up call at a more godly hour. At least I know how to set and unset it. At any rate, I'm sure I'll have less unsettling dreams once Ted is home safe and sound. Until then, I wonder if the boyfriend will call back tonight! -har-
Blah... and now the topic that I was purposefully leaving to the end so as not to create yet another entry that's somber and possibly uncomfortable for others to read. So consider yourself forewarned that if you don't really care to partake in the ongoing saga that is my life-altering reveal to my mother that her beloved son is a homosexual, then you should probably stop reading now.
Still with me? Of course you are. ...thank you.
Yeah, so when last I spoke of this I was going to mail the infamous letter, that night. Well, I mailed it the next morning, which was a Friday. And my mom had it by Monday. God Bless Canada Post. But I'm skipping ahead. In preparation for Hurricane Shirley blowing in off the coast of denial, I did what any good brother would do, and called both my sisters to warn them of the potential for hysterical behaviour. For my sister Cheryl, this was alright, because she'd received a previous warning before Christmas that this was an inevitability and she's known since 94 that I'm gay. Darlene however, was getting it two-fold, since I was essentially "coming out" (God I hate that term.) to her AND preparing her for mom to go sub-atomic. Luckily, Darlene took it like a champ and didn't pass any judgement even though I'm sure she had a bit of conflict to deal with, given that of the 3 of us, she's been the only child to pursue a path similar to my mom's faith. She was wonderful about it to be honest.
Thus far it's been great for my relationship with my sisters I have to say. I can't recall a time when we've spent so much time talking on the phone and just getting reacquainted.
My mom on the other hand, although showing remarkable restraint has been predictably bitter, indignant and self-righteous, like I've "done this" to her. And I won't go into details of what she said, because although not intentionally hurtful, she can't help but be inappropriate and infuriating. And I don't really want to look back on this and remember what she said. Yeah, I've spoken to her once (this past Sunday) because she called to assure me that despite the fact that I've been listening to the devil's lies, she will always love me and that I should never believe otherwise. I guess that's encouraging in itself. I sincerely hope she surprises me, but I'm not holding my breath. She shouldn't have called me at all yet because she's neither ready to talk to me, nor listen when I speak. Thus I kept the conversation short and told her we should wait a little longer.
If nothing else comes from this, I take great comfort and liberty in being free of all the deception and in giving this conflict to her, I no longer feel like the one in the wrong for avoiding her and shutting her out. As much as I hesitate to use sports analogies, the ball is in her court, and if she chooses to keep me at a distance, I'm honestly quite OK with that. The distance between us is no longer my fault and that's good. I've sworn to myself that I will not lash out at my mom in anger over anything she might say (although I won't tolerate any verbal abuse or disrespect.) and I will be as compassionate of her feelings and respectful of her faith as I can possibly be. So far; so good. It feels great, and a big, heavy burden has been lifted from me. I'll keep you posted.
OK... longest blog entry ever... coming to a close. Whiny Basset Hound requiring pee-break and a belly-rub... in that order.
Song of the day... a choral group I heard on Classical 96 last week and ran out to buy the CD that night from Sam the Record Man downtown: "Libera" (a boys choir) and the title of their STUPENDOUSLY soul-fortifying CD is "Angel Voices". An apt title; believe me. And no, I'm not generally a choir lovin' type of guy. It's just beautiful music (entire CD). The song I heard (Going Home) is morbid yet comforting, and the album as a whole is very uplifting. I'll post the "Going Home" lyrics at a later date. But for now, I'll share the lyrics from my favourite track: "I Am the Day".
I am the day... soon to be born
I am the light before the morning
I am the night... that will be dawn
I am the end and the beginning
I am the alpha and omega
The night and day... the first and last
Illuminosa, immortalis
Sancta gloriosa
In aeterna
I am the life... soon to begin
I am the new hope in the morning
I am the darkness... soon to be light
I am the rising and the falling.
This isn't going to be a blog entry as much as it will be a mish-mash of things I'd just like to document, now that I've got an evening just to chill. I can't believe I've only made 2 other entries this month, but hey, nowhere did I mention that my goal was to blog more often right?? Funny how I feel disappointment over it though. Oh well.
Speaking of funny, I want to mention before I forget that Ted and I were invited to a Super "Bowel" party this weekend. hee A friend of mine with notoriously bad spelling has opened his heart and home to all his friends, and I'm hoping to God it's a football party and not some kinda "skat" party. (if you don't know what skat is... I suggest you not look it up. And assume that I fear a freestyle jazz-singing fete.) Teasing of course; it is most certainly a football party as he asked everyone to wear (spelled "ware") the proper attire. Specifically, shoulder pads and jock straps and not much else. hee. You'd have to know him. He's a sweetie with a constant smile on his face and an easy laugh. So viva le Super Bowel!
In other news... "heavens to mergatroid" do I love my iPod!!! The new 30gig one I got for my birthday. It truly is the most genius musical medium invention ever imagined. I'm still loading music on it and I'm up to almost 1700 songs. It holds 7500. There's nothing quite like it in the world for a music lover. And Ted is loving my nano even though it's a hand-me-down. God bless you Apple dude, whatever the hell your name is. you deserve to be rich.
Ahh, as I sit here with the dogs missing Ted (who's away in New Orleans - yep Louisiana - for a Sales Conference til Friday.) I'm wondering what I'd ever do without him. I truly do feel incomplete without him as hokey as that might sound. I'm just a hapless boob without him in a lot of ways. When he's not around I just kind of putter around in my underwear, wondering if I should make the bed at 9pm at night. I know, that's awful, but I never - ok rarely - make the bed. Ted claims I just don't do it right. And I must confess to sympathizing with those slob-type guys who don't quite get the point of making the bed when you're only going to mess it up again each night. Yeah, yeah, not when company's coming n' all that, but sheesh. Luckily I have Ted to make sure I'm getting into a fresh, tightly tucked bed each night. I miss him when he's not here, and I don't sleep as well... that's for sure.
Last night I had one of those "is it a dream" dreams in which some lady called and left 87 messages on our answering machine (and kept waking me up -in the dream- but not actually). She was distraught and looking to contact her daughter whom she believed to be away vacationing with her boyfriend in Jamaica. Her daughter had not returned home yet and she was understandably upset to have not heard from her. Finally I got up to answer her 88th call to break the news to her that she was calling the wrong number and waking me up with each call. Audibly disappointed, she promised me that she wouldn't call again, and we said good-bye. It was then that I realize I was in a house that wasn't my own, and all the windows were exposed and there was a huge outdoor concert going on across a field behind the house with crowds mulling about and people crossing the lawn and seeing me through the windows. I'm never one to just let people see in, so I went about the task of drawing all the curtains and shades in the house (as if it were mine and I knew exactly where every window was). Then the phone rings again, and it's the boyfriend of the missing daughter, calling to ask if I had heard from the mother and to tell her they were both fine if I heard from her again. Bizarro! But it gets more weird from there... because when I tell him that he just missed her for the 88th time... he tells me that I sound really good to him and initiates phone sex. Yee haw. But of course, as I always do when the dream's getting sexual... I wake up! To the sound of the damned alarm on our stereo that's set for 5:30am. The alarm that I have no idea how to unset, because it's so damned complicated and Ted always takes care of it. So until he returns I will be waking up at 5:30am to shut it off and wait for my cell phone to give me my proper wake-up call at a more godly hour. At least I know how to set and unset it. At any rate, I'm sure I'll have less unsettling dreams once Ted is home safe and sound. Until then, I wonder if the boyfriend will call back tonight! -har-
Blah... and now the topic that I was purposefully leaving to the end so as not to create yet another entry that's somber and possibly uncomfortable for others to read. So consider yourself forewarned that if you don't really care to partake in the ongoing saga that is my life-altering reveal to my mother that her beloved son is a homosexual, then you should probably stop reading now.
Still with me? Of course you are. ...thank you.
Yeah, so when last I spoke of this I was going to mail the infamous letter, that night. Well, I mailed it the next morning, which was a Friday. And my mom had it by Monday. God Bless Canada Post. But I'm skipping ahead. In preparation for Hurricane Shirley blowing in off the coast of denial, I did what any good brother would do, and called both my sisters to warn them of the potential for hysterical behaviour. For my sister Cheryl, this was alright, because she'd received a previous warning before Christmas that this was an inevitability and she's known since 94 that I'm gay. Darlene however, was getting it two-fold, since I was essentially "coming out" (God I hate that term.) to her AND preparing her for mom to go sub-atomic. Luckily, Darlene took it like a champ and didn't pass any judgement even though I'm sure she had a bit of conflict to deal with, given that of the 3 of us, she's been the only child to pursue a path similar to my mom's faith. She was wonderful about it to be honest.
Thus far it's been great for my relationship with my sisters I have to say. I can't recall a time when we've spent so much time talking on the phone and just getting reacquainted.
My mom on the other hand, although showing remarkable restraint has been predictably bitter, indignant and self-righteous, like I've "done this" to her. And I won't go into details of what she said, because although not intentionally hurtful, she can't help but be inappropriate and infuriating. And I don't really want to look back on this and remember what she said. Yeah, I've spoken to her once (this past Sunday) because she called to assure me that despite the fact that I've been listening to the devil's lies, she will always love me and that I should never believe otherwise. I guess that's encouraging in itself. I sincerely hope she surprises me, but I'm not holding my breath. She shouldn't have called me at all yet because she's neither ready to talk to me, nor listen when I speak. Thus I kept the conversation short and told her we should wait a little longer.
If nothing else comes from this, I take great comfort and liberty in being free of all the deception and in giving this conflict to her, I no longer feel like the one in the wrong for avoiding her and shutting her out. As much as I hesitate to use sports analogies, the ball is in her court, and if she chooses to keep me at a distance, I'm honestly quite OK with that. The distance between us is no longer my fault and that's good. I've sworn to myself that I will not lash out at my mom in anger over anything she might say (although I won't tolerate any verbal abuse or disrespect.) and I will be as compassionate of her feelings and respectful of her faith as I can possibly be. So far; so good. It feels great, and a big, heavy burden has been lifted from me. I'll keep you posted.
OK... longest blog entry ever... coming to a close. Whiny Basset Hound requiring pee-break and a belly-rub... in that order.
Song of the day... a choral group I heard on Classical 96 last week and ran out to buy the CD that night from Sam the Record Man downtown: "Libera" (a boys choir) and the title of their STUPENDOUSLY soul-fortifying CD is "Angel Voices". An apt title; believe me. And no, I'm not generally a choir lovin' type of guy. It's just beautiful music (entire CD). The song I heard (Going Home) is morbid yet comforting, and the album as a whole is very uplifting. I'll post the "Going Home" lyrics at a later date. But for now, I'll share the lyrics from my favourite track: "I Am the Day".
I am the day... soon to be born
I am the light before the morning
I am the night... that will be dawn
I am the end and the beginning
I am the alpha and omega
The night and day... the first and last
Illuminosa, immortalis
Sancta gloriosa
In aeterna
I am the life... soon to begin
I am the new hope in the morning
I am the darkness... soon to be light
I am the rising and the falling.
Thursday, January 18, 2007
Bombs Away
It would seem as of late, I'm all about imposing deadlines on myself, so for anyone wondering what my progress is on the "Necessities for January" front, a letter has been written, rewritten and then edited one more time. If I can bring myself to unclench my fingers long enough to let it fall in the mail box, the deed will be done tonight. The self-imposed deadline comes in the form of documenting that I'm going to do it, therefore compelling me to make good on my written intention. Or at least that's the plan. Blah.
I'd like to post the letter in my blog, but somehow it's just wrong to leave something quite so ...raw... to me, dangling on the internet. Especially since someone might stumble upon it if they were to Google "mom", "Old Navy" and "Christmas" per say. meh... it could happen. At any rate I've made no forward motion on the other front, being the career-enriching, pursue-something-I'd-actually-enjoy front. But ...one life-altering goal at a time I suppose.
Speaking of life-alteration... I highly recommend that you buy, borrow, rent or steal the movie "An Inconvenient Truth". Yes, it's a documentary but it's perhaps the most poignant movie we as a human race actually need to spread the word about. I thought that I was an environmentally aware/conscious person, but this movie is beyond just an "eye-opener". Our existence as a species depends upon embracing the ideals of environmentalism. It's heart-wrenching to see and hear what we've done and continue to do to our world. Devastatingly so. That being said; it's important to watch this movie in it's entirety to be able to walk away with a sense of optimism and hope. I've derived a lot of hope from watching this movie and I think it's more important than ever to be aware of our place and our role in the lifetime we're given. Each of us can make a difference with an individual contribution to the greater cause. I truly believe that. ...But before I wax too philosophical, I'll just leave it at that. And please note: I was kidding about stealing the movie, although I do think it's important enough for everyone to see almost to the point of theft. I'll let you steal my copy - how 'bout that?
No lyrics today. A song and a video instead. "I Need to Wake Up" Melissa Etheridge.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XthWJnOHpVE
http://www.climatecrisis.net/
I'd like to post the letter in my blog, but somehow it's just wrong to leave something quite so ...raw... to me, dangling on the internet. Especially since someone might stumble upon it if they were to Google "mom", "Old Navy" and "Christmas" per say. meh... it could happen. At any rate I've made no forward motion on the other front, being the career-enriching, pursue-something-I'd-actually-enjoy front. But ...one life-altering goal at a time I suppose.
Speaking of life-alteration... I highly recommend that you buy, borrow, rent or steal the movie "An Inconvenient Truth". Yes, it's a documentary but it's perhaps the most poignant movie we as a human race actually need to spread the word about. I thought that I was an environmentally aware/conscious person, but this movie is beyond just an "eye-opener". Our existence as a species depends upon embracing the ideals of environmentalism. It's heart-wrenching to see and hear what we've done and continue to do to our world. Devastatingly so. That being said; it's important to watch this movie in it's entirety to be able to walk away with a sense of optimism and hope. I've derived a lot of hope from watching this movie and I think it's more important than ever to be aware of our place and our role in the lifetime we're given. Each of us can make a difference with an individual contribution to the greater cause. I truly believe that. ...But before I wax too philosophical, I'll just leave it at that. And please note: I was kidding about stealing the movie, although I do think it's important enough for everyone to see almost to the point of theft. I'll let you steal my copy - how 'bout that?
No lyrics today. A song and a video instead. "I Need to Wake Up" Melissa Etheridge.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XthWJnOHpVE
http://www.climatecrisis.net/
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