Everything AND Poopie

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OEAh77W_1jE

Others embed media all the time. I however, seem to be incapable of mastering the steps it takes to do so. So... clickie-clickie on the link above to bask in one of the most horrific examples of human misery ever to be broadcast to the masses. Were I this gentlemen, I would be praying for the world to end, or at least a complete and utter annihilation of the internet and it's contents.

A complete "wipe" (if you'll pardon the pun.) from everyone's memory, including my own would seem to be in order. But instead, I shall laugh heartily and celebrate schadenfreude with the hopes that karma will overlook me for such cold-hearted mirth.

Hermititude

The months just roll by don't they?

I think s'bout time I post a little life update.

The new apartment is just about feeling like a home now. I've got much of the unpacking done at this point. Barring a pile of luggage, doggie crates, 21" tv and stand, box of books/photos and various odds and ends banished not-so-inconspicuously to a corner of my bedroom. I've lovingly dubbed it "Madame Trash Heap". It's likely to be there for a while, til I can figure out how to sell some stuff on e-bay or Craig's List.

Porthos and Cole are with me this week, and I'm happy to have them. It's amazing how happy they are to see me after a week. They just overdose on attention for the entire first night, and then sorta settle into the routine much quicker than they did before. When they're with Ted, they've got him home all day, every day, but when they're with me, they have to adjust to my schedule of not being home all day. It makes me feel awful but I try to compensate with lots of walks. Oh... and peanut butter. And I pretty-much restrict myself to a life of "hermititude" in the evenings while I have them. Although.... now that my apartment looks like a home... I can have guests!

Anyone wanna stop by and see me? : )

Blah... not very interesting for a first post in well-over a month, but it's the best I can do for today.

Discovered a fantastic not-so-new artist recently: "Skye Edwards". She's the former lead singer of a band called "Morcheeba". Her solo debut is called "Mind How You Go", and I love it. It's acoustic, yet electronic, thought-provoking and tender. Her voice is soothing and emotive.
I'm posting the lyrics to one of her songs called "Stop Complaining", but if you'd like to hear her, I'd recommend clicking "HERE" to watch her awesome, awesome, awesome video called "What's Wrong With Me". I was going to post the lyrics to that, but they're really depressing and I didn't want to go there. : )

"Stop Complaining" by Skye

I don't know why but I can't seem to find the right melody today
I can't make the words fit how I feel
I don't know when was the last time that I slept the whole night through
And when morning comes around I feel tired

I woke up from the strangest dream
With a dancing dog and a beauty queen
They said nothing
Nada
Niente
I'm empty

But you're here and I'm here
so I stop complaining
It could be raining
And I see the answer in your eyes
You're here and I'm here
I keep on singing
Just keep on singing
Singing

Do you know why I can't seem to find the right melody today
Can't make the words fit how I feel
Do you know when was the last time that I slept the whole night through
Another morning comes around I feel tired

I drive down to the rodeo
Gonna ride a bull in a video but nothing
Nada
Niente
I'm still empty

But you're here and I'm here
so I stop complaining
It could be raining
And I see the answer in your eyes

You're here and I'm here
I keep on singing
Just keep on singing
Singing
Singing
Just keep on singing
Singing
Singing
Singing
Singing
Singing
Singing

Me with Martini, Jerome in Bikini

Tomorrow night at this time I will be at a Sam Phillips concert with my dear friend Jerome. Hee!

I'm quite pleased at the opportunity to see both Jerome and Sam, having not seen him for probably a year or her... well... ever.

No, she's not a very well-known singer but I'm a fan from way back when she sang contemporary christian music under her given name: Leslie Phillips. What I didn't know, (thank you Wikipedia) was that she was marketed as the "christian" Cyndi Lauper back in the 80's. Whattayaknow 'bout that? No wonder I liked her so much. However... she evidently wasn't thrilled with that comparison. And I never made the connection on my own, nor had I read a peep about it since 1986 when I first became a fan... so how good was that marketing?

I had come to assume that she adopted a new stage name when she took a step back from her faith and began singing secular fare, but like I said, that's an assumption. She may very well still be a woman of faith. I have read some disparaging remarks she has made about the church and the gospel music industry... but that doesn't make her a full-blown heathen, like me.

Jerome is a much more loyal fan than I, I might add. He's kept up with Sam beyond the expiration of her contract with Virgin Records, whereas, I kinda let 3 albums pop up and pass me by without ever hitting my hot lil hands or gracing my eager ears. Shame on me. Of course, every time I saw one of her CD's released since 2001's Fan Dance... they were outrageously priced. That's the burden of being a lesser known artist I suppose though: music outlets don't buy your work en masse and thereby don't pass any savings on to your awaiting fans.

Luckily, Sam has had some success without fickle poopie-head fans like me, and gained a lot of exposure through the TV show "Gilmore Girls". Jerome enlightened me on that stroke of luck I might add, 'cause I'd never watched Gilmore Girls (still haven't, although I hear it was very good.) and never would have known otherwise. Yay Sam! Sell those records and keep spreading your brilliance!

Her latest album is entitled "Don't Do Anything". I vow I will own it... and Fan Dance and A Boot and a Shoe ...and then my Sam Phillips collection will be complete yet again. She really is a remarkable artist with very intelligent/insightful lyrics. I so recommend her quirky bad-self to whomever will listen.

Here's a really old song (not an actual video) from her first album as Sam Phillips: "I Don't Know How to Say Goodbye to You" from The Indescribable Wow.

And as long as I'm goin' nuts... the lyrics to one of my favourite Sam songs... "I Need Love" from Martinis and Bikinis.

I Need Love

I left my conscience
like a crying child
Locked the door behind me
put the pain on file

Broken like a window
I see my blindness now

And I need love
not some sentimental prison
I need god
not the political church
I need fire
to melt this frozen sea inside me
I need love

Driving into town
tired and depressed
Like a flare a street light
burst an SOS

Peace comes to my rescue
And I don't know what it means

And I need love
not some sentimental prison
I need god
not the political church
I need fire
to melt this frozen sea inside me
I need love

Broken like a window
I see my blindness now
And I need love
not some sentimental prison
I need god
not the political church
I need fire to melt this frozen sea inside me
I need love
I need love
I need love
I need love

Get Out the Way

Mothers with SUV baby buggies are reaching epidemic proportions. I propose that both mother (or father) and child should be destroyed on sight if attempting to board public transit in/with one of these massive contraptions.

I know it's harsh, and it may take time to implement... but really... there is no alternative. A baby should not take up the space of 3 adults (in the aisle no less) on a bus. There is no room to get around them... It's frowned-upon to climb through them... And bus windows are far too small to heft these monster-truck-prams into traffic. (not to mention they're built for off-roading and would likely survive the ejection - so why bother?)

To sound more and more like an elderly person... when I was a child we had tiny strollers that did not impose on other people's rights or ability to utilize public transit. Admittedly inferior for lack of a roof rack, curtain air-bags and a place to stow all shopping bags... these strollers held their precious cargo quite efficiently so the parental figures pushing them did not have to. And isn't that the point??? You really just need your child to be on casters so as not to break your back carryin' 'em around all day right? And to my knowledge the average human infant is born no larger than the babies of yesteryear who weathered the hardship of a lowly stroller. But I suppose in the age of baby bling... one must consider the effects of not being seen in the stroller equivalent of a Hummer.

"Oh god, there's no place to duck in this thing... the other babies will see me!"

At least I can take comfort in the fact that these behemoth baby-movers don't run on fossil fuels. *sigh*

I understand the plight of mothers who must bring baby along on the bus and even that no one can truly silence a crying child if they really wanna cry. But don't tell me you need seating for five and space for a subwoofer to cart your little one to the mall... 'cause you don't... and if you do, you should be walking to the mall and utilizing all that provisional space, not to mention the CAA membership that MUST come as an added feature.

So parents.... get a small stroller for your transit rides... or be destroyed with the knowledge that your selfish life of excess cost your precious offspring his or her life as well ('cause we will be dicing up the baby while you watch). This is how it must be.


Ludacris - Move Bitch

Move bitch,
get out the way
Get out the way bitch,
get out the way

Move bitch,
get out the way
Get out the way bitch,
get out the way

OH NO!
The fight's out
I'ma 'bout to punch yo...lights out
Get the FUCK back,
guard ya grill
There's somethin' wrong,
we can't stay still
I've been drankin' and bustin' two
and I been thankin' of bustin' you
Upside ya motherfuckin' forehead
And if your friends jump in,
"Ohhh gurrlll", they'll be mo' dead

Causin' confusion,
Disturbin Tha Peace
It's not an illusion,
we runnin the streets
So bye-bye to all you groupies and golddiggers
Is there a bumper on your ass?
NO NIGGA!
I'm doin' a hundred on the highway
So if you do the speed limit,
get the FUCK outta my way
I'm D.U.I., hardly ever caught sober
and you about to get ran the FUCK over

[Chorus]

BITCH!
Watch out, watch out, watch out
BITCH!
Watch out, watch out, watch out, move

Silly Daikini, Hang Yer Damned Curtains

Anyone who's been paying any attention to my Facebook silliness would know that I've been talking an awful lot about my lack of a phone... and my plans to hang curtains this past weekend.

Well... the curtains are still to be hung, but that's not to say I didn't have a productive weekend.

Among my discoveries... ...I can in-fact be a mister fix-it when armed with the proper tools, although I rarely ever follow paper instructions. I have a strange and meddlesome aversion to reading page upon page of diagrams and steps. Possibly because they're too concise??? I dunno... it hurts my wee man-brain to try to follow along. I need a video unless the instructions are put to an interesting story I guess.

Anyhoo... I'm quite pleased to announce that I installed a new deadbolt lock, and I drilled, and hung shelves and installed anchors for shelves... wait... switch those two steps... the anchors came before the shelves. And I did some serious closet organizing. (which won't likely last, but oh well, my intentions are golden.)

OH, and I cleaned a wall of windows, watched 2 movies ("Willow" & "The Italian Job"), ate a litre of Oreo ice cream, went to a drag show (Friday night) ("Mess In a Dress") and managed to get some major sleep time. OK, so maybe it wasn't an overly productive weekend, but I'm coping. lol And part of that coping is to keep telling myself that every little thing I do, contributes to the greater goal of setting up house. ...Something I'm very slow at under the best conditions.

It's insane how long it's taken me this time around to unpack. August is almost over, and I've still got a catastrophic living room and bedroom with boxes and displaced things just laying around. Expectations we put upon ourselves huh... Meh... I guess I'm just stressing it because it's unfinished business. I want to come home to a comfortable, livable abode and not estimate how much work is left to do. I much prefer maintenance to set-up. ...And cups of hot chocolate to refill-sized bottles of Windex... And surfing the internet for porn 'n stuff as opposed to feeling drywall grit on my bare feet upon stepping out of the shower. Of course, if it's not drywall grit, it's dog hair, or some other doggie ba'bit bi-product of half-chewed toy or treat. So I don't know why I'm complaining.

I'm getting there! I'm getting there.


PS. I love the book I'm reading right now: "The Time Traveller's Wife" by Audrey Niffenegger. I just found out it's being made into a movie, starring Eric Bana and Rachel McAdams with a release date of Christmas day this year. Hmmmm... I hope they do it justice. The book is REALLY good.

PPS... I've been listening to a lot of Madonna lately, thus the lyrics to "Erotica" from the Confessions Tour. A really beautiful re-imagining of the song. (granted it wouldn't appear as such by just reading the lyrics lol - trust me on this one.)

Erotica

You are who you are
And I
Wouldn’t want to change a thing
In spite of
All the pain that love can bring
Tell me
What can I do
I’m so in love with you

You thrill me
Surround me, you fill me
You send me
You put me in a trance
You fill me
Inside me you take me
You thrill me
You put me in a trance

(Chorus)
Erotic, Erotic, put your hands all over my body.

You are who you are
And I
Wouldn’t want to change a thing
In spite of
All the pain that love can bring
So tell me
What can I do
I’m so in love with you

You thrill me
Surround me, you fill me
You send me
You put me in a trance
You fill me
Inside me you take me
You thrill me
You put me in a trance

The Quick Brown Fox...

...Jumped over the lazy dogs.

'Just got an e-mail from my dear friend Jeff, who quite naturally wanted to know "who got the dogs?" in our separation. It's quite silly of me to not have mentioned it, but likewise one could assume that since I wasn't lamenting their absence that Ted and I had agreed on a mutually beneficial arrangement. We are doing the "shared custody" thing. One week at my place; one week at his, because really... the boys belong together no matter who they're with and both Ted and I would rather miss them both for a week at a time than to miss one of them all the time. Our babies are still our babies even though their daddies live apart. It's incredibly sad, and it brings up a lot of emotion for me. But Porthos and Cole are a comforting presence in my life when I have them, and hopefully equally comforting to Ted when they're in his loving care.

"You are my sunshine, my only sunshine, you make me happy... when skies are grey. You'll never know dears, how much I love you... Please don't take my sunshine away."

Who Y'Gonna Call?

I didn't write about my move. But it was largely uneventful as far as moves go, and the only known casualties thus far (I say thus far, because I'm still not completely unpacked.) Were my Yucca Tree and the barbecue. Hopefully both are enjoying their new homes with new owners within the same building.

So in a nutshell, I'm pretty happy with my new place. I wish I could say the same thing of Primus Canada... the home phone/long distance and internet provider I've chosen. I signed-up on August 5th, with promises of 10 business days or less, and I still have no service and I've been greeted with really bad customer service in my attempts to report it, and investigate the problem. I really... REALLY dislike outsourcing. Whether it's to India, or the United States or Mexico... I have a working theory that people from another zip code, much less another COUNTRY or another CONTINENT do not have much more than a passing interest in my satisfaction. And that is being both kind and optimistic. Think about it. Someone from another country asks you a question you have no answer for, on behalf of a company that you don't even technically work for... do you care? Not likely is what I'm finding. And I'm a very patient guy, but a language barrier does not expediate any situation. I just want my phone to work, and I'm baffled as to why a singular new jack was installed in my apartment where 4 already exist, and none of these 4 work when a phone is plugged in. I was routinely told I'd have to call "Inter Connect" company by 3 different service representatives from India, when really, I just want to speak to whomever "Primus" called/requested to install my service, which they know nothing about. Well, "Inter Connect" company is very different from "AN" interconnect company (meaning "pick one and stop bothering me".) I'm seriously the width of a hair away from cancelling the whole thing and going with a different service provider. Go ahead punks... make my day.

Blah... I wish I could just stick with my cell phone and not worry about a land line, but my apartment seems to be a wireless dead zone. Ah well... happy, happy, happy... not going to let ridiculous particulars get me down.


Ghostbusters - By Ray Parker Jr

If there's something strange
in your neighborhood
Who you gonna call?
Ghostbusters!

If there's something weird
and it don't look good
Who you gonna call?
Ghostbusters!

I ain't afraid of no ghost
I ain't afraid of no ghost

If you're seeing things
running through your head
Who can you call?
Ghostbusters!
An invisible man
sleeping in your bed
Oh, who you gonna call?
Ghostbusters!

I ain't afraid of no ghost
I ain't afraid of no ghost
Who you gonna call?
Ghostbusters!

If you're all alone,
pick up the phone
And call
Ghostbusters!

I ain't afraid of no ghost

I hear it likes the girls
I ain't afraid of no ghost
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
Who you gonna call?
Ghostbusters!

If you've had a dose
of a freaky ghost
You'd better call
Ghostbusters!

Let me tell you something
Bustin' makes me feel good
I ain't afraid of no ghost
I ain't afraid of no ghost

Don't get caught alone, oh no
Ghostbusters!
When it comes through your door
Unless you just want some more
I think you better call
Ghostbusters!
Ow!
Who you gonna call
Ghostbusters!