Wednesday, March 07, 2007

Classy Honey Kissy Huggy Lovey Dovey Ghetto Princess

Guess where I'm going tonight???

Well OK... you don't have to guess, 'cause you stop in here for me to "tell" you stuff like "where I'm going tonight".

I'm going to see Scissor Sisters! HEE I cannot tell you how cool I think that is, and how much I'm looking forward to it. They're playing at the Kool Haus, and Tammy got us last-minute free tickets. (it's good to have friends in positions of power at successful radio stations.)

So at the moment I'm sitting at work and it's night-time. _s_P_o_O_K_y_
But truly it's not worth it to go home and have to turn around and come back downtown again. Admittedly I miss my boys. All 3 of them. And I miss my own potty. I don't like goin' poo at work, but god knows sometimes there's just no way around it. Whattaygonnado??
Too much information you say??? Yeah... like you never poo.

Digression, thy name is potty-talk.

On another topic.... have you ever noticed that there's a whole section of the greeting card market not being served by not catering to those who love their parents with a good dose of indifference? Of course you haven't. 'Cause normal people buy affectionate cards for their parents.
I looked at EVERY birthday card in the "Mothers" sections (and I say sections, because there are actually several) at Carleton Cards and left empty-handed, and then went to Hallmark to repeat the futile scouring exercise. I almost asked one of the customer service people if there was some secret rack in a secret cellar somewhere where they keep the cards for celebratory acknowledgement without full-blown sentimentality. I know what kind of look that would've gotten me.
So I picked a card with a bear and a rhyme that wasn't quite "trite", but not quite eloquent either. Condescending?? Perhaps. But it's the best I could do given the circumstances and the card industry's lack of demographic study for those of us who don't think their parents hung the moon. For those who might think I'm cold, rest assured that I wrote my own personal message inside to convey my own feelings. But the whole idea was to pick a card that didn't leave quite enough room to say a whole lot. For obvious reasons, filling the big empty void of a blank card wasn't an option either. (I'd run out of swear words. Ba Dum Bum. Just kidding.)

Hmmmm.... million dollar idea?? My own line of greeting cards.
"Skidmark: When you care enough to send... something that says very little."

Ahh well.

Song of the "Night" ...aaaaahhhhh.... it's nighttime.... clever huh? But of course it's Scissor Sisters.

"Filthy/Gorgeous"

When you're walkin' down the street
And the man tries to get your business
And the people that you meet
Want to open you up like Christmas

You gotta wrap your fuzzy with a big red bow
Ain't no sum bitch gonna treat me like a ho
I'm a classy honey kissy huggy lovey dovey ghetto princess

Cuz you're filthy
Oooh, and I'm gorgeous
Cuz you're filthy
Oooh, and I'm gorgeous
You're disgusting
Oooh, and you're nasty
And you can grab me
oooh, cuz you're nasty

When you're runnin' from a trick
And you trip on a hit of acid
You gotta work for the man
But your biggest moneymakers' flaccid

You gotta keep your shit together
With your feet on the ground
There ain't no-one gonna listen
If you haven't made a sound
You're an acid junkie college flunky dirty puppy daddy bastard

Cuz you're filthy
Oooh, and I'm gorgeous
Cuz you're filthy
Oooh, and I'm gorgeous
You're disgusting
Oooh, and you're nasty
And you can grab me
oooh, cuz you're nasty

5 comments:

Jerome said...

Have a good time at the concert. I, for one, discovered last year that I'm just too old for concerts at places like the Kool Haus where one must stand for hours on end. Ah, another step toward the grave.

John said...

I had a great time thanks. But I must ask: What concert was it that ushered you one step closer to the "turn that racket down you noisy kids" years? ;)
Personally, I think I've got at least another 20-25 years of concert-going in me, whether or not they're at places like Kool Haus. I will relent though, that I'm feeling a tad closer to deafness today. Amazing show though. :D

Jerome said...

Ha! I'm fine with concerts and noise and all, it was just the darn standing ... and standing ... and standing. It was Sinead's reggae concert last year. Incredible. Three days later, I was off to see Cyndi Lauper, so I had a good week.

John said...

I love Cyndi Lauper and I really like Sinead O'Connor. I'm jealous. I've seen neither of them in concert. You're right - the standing gets exhausting very quickly. I guess I just try to ignore the discomfort as best I can. I do have orthotics though. Maybe that helps me.

ian said...

Elizabeth and I saw Cyndi Lauper in concert last summer and it was a great show. She opened it by joking something about adult ADD and would often spout off on tagents of speech between songs and then saying something like "Oh yeah, we're gonna sing (insert song title) now, sorry..." She even sat at one point to strum out (poorly) the song "Imagine" by John Lennon. She sang the song really well but you'd swear she just learned how to play the guitar that afternoon or something. Overall though, she put in a G-R-E-A-T show.

Her opening act was Wall of Voodoo, who opened their set with "Ring of Fire" by Johnny Cash, to about 100 of us seated in the room-for-thousands stadium that was nowhere near full, then proceeded to tell us how they hadn't gotten together to practice much. At the end of their set, everyone cheered it was over (they were HORRIBLE) and they must have thought that we wanted an encore. But being short of material (since they had obviously only practiced a 45-minute set), the lead singer grabbed the mic and shouted "Well since most of you weren't hear earlier..." and proceeded to re-sing "Ring of Fire" a second time, with the exact same choreographed moves and horrible singing.

I'm sure if they could've tapped into the kinetic energy of Johnny Cash whirling in his grave, it'd have powered Los Angeles for a week.