Sunday, March 02, 2008

Hi

Well... let the grand experiment begin. I'm giving up Facebook for a month. (gasp)

The grandest purpose of which: to stop living my life online. And here I sit and blog again, irony withstanding.

I think I've found my voice again, although I can't promise it'll always make it's way to this medium.

This has been the most difficult winter of my life, and it seems fitting that on a sunny Sunday morning, waiting for the dog food to hydrate, pining for more sleep and smarting from a very lonely Saturday night, that I just start anew with this blog.

I've been off making friends online with the hopes that those connections would translate into real, living, breathing friendships... with mixed results. And I've learned that there's not much sense in amassing a large group of friends if they're only going to equate to a big bunch of pen-pals who communicate via the digital equivalent of cyber post-it notes. It's not meaningful enough for me, and I can honestly say I've never felt more isolated and alone. Chalk another one up to what I missed-out on in my youth. Luckily I think my learning curve is much shorter now. Let's hope.

Since I last blogged (faithfully) I've gone through a very tumultuous time in my personal life. I'm now seeing not one, but two therapists, to try and wrap my brain around my depression and where it comes from.... why it's so debilitating and how to step beyond it.

For those of you who might be worried, Ted and I are still together and I won't speak for him, but for all the hard times we've been through, I'm convinced that we can -and will- love each other unconditionally for the rest of our lives. That in itself is more than just a comfort, but a life-affirming fact that we have something very precious.

Anyhoo... my self-imposed silence is at an end I think.

And with that, a return to tradition: if you haven't picked-up "Detours" the new Sheryl Crow album... do so... post haste!

Love Is All There Is

Everyone is talking about me
How my heart is broken
But they don’t see

When you’re lonely inside
The world looks so carefree
When you’re lonely inside
You just can’t see

Does anybody want you
Does anybody need you
The question is
Does anybody want you
Does anybody need you
The question is
All I really know for certain, babe
Is that Love Is All There Is

Every now and then
There comes a time
Someone comes along
to change your mind

You believe it’s unwise
To give in to careless dreams
You believe it’s a prize
You’ll never win

Does anybody want you
Does anybody need you
The question is
Does anybody want you
Does anybody need you
The question is
All I really know for certain, babe
Is that Love Is All There Is

You believe it’s unwise
To give in to careless dreams
If you don’t see that is why
You will never know

Does anybody want you
Does anybody need you
The question is
Does anybody want you
Does anybody need you
The question is
All I really know for certain, babe
Is that Love Is All There Is

3 comments:

Misster Kitty said...

Well PHEW! Honestly I was wondering who was gonna break first. you or me!

Glad to see you back, and I promise I won't pressure you no mo ... :-)

Depression is a cold cold bitch, here's to hoping you can fine the roots and better treat it, cause in the end you need to realize that it's totally treatable and you can and will rise above it! (Ens Oprah moment here)

And soooo glad to know you got Ted and dah boys by your side! :-)

Hugs.

John said...

Thanks Shawn! And I'm sorry to see you had such a rotten day yesterday. :(

Misster Kitty said...

well things are improving here... We're getting another snow storm and I'm off Friday so my week is almost 11/2 over! woo hoo!

WB