Monday, April 30, 2007

Prince Prevails - So Sayeth the Toilet-Seat-Cozy Saboteur

So this weekend we went to a party on Friday night, and then over to Eak's sister's place on Saturday night. Then yesterday we slept the morning away, cleaned all afternoon and Tammy came over for dinner and Amazing Race (plus an unexpected hour of Desperate Housewives).

Friday night was a house-warming party for a friend and co-worker of mine that I seldom ever get to hang out with. Our biggest bonding experience was travelling to Detroit together to see Prince ("Musicology" tour). She's a huge Prince fan, as am I and it's really interesting how a love of music or one artist in particular can provide a bond strong-enough to base an entire friendship upon. That specific road-trip weekend lead to some deep, heart-felt conversations and a really memorable good time. I'm always grateful when I think about that. Anyhoo... her house is gorgeous and her friends are a lot of fun. I've never been to a party with so many folks smoking weed simultaneously. Needless to say; there was a lot of conversation. ha Some of it was riveting I tells ya. At around 1am there was a huge debate by the fireplace: Michael Jackson versus Prince. Given my little introduction, you can well imagine that my friend (Marty) and I were putting up the good fight for Prince, because there were a shit-load of MJ fans there. (I love Michael too - don't get me wrong, but when it all comes down to it... there's just no comparison. Prince wins on every issue that counts.) I find it disheartening when people base their entire opinion of an artist, on a period of their popularity. (Mind you, I feel that way about people forming fast opinions about just about anything or anyone.) For some people it's not enough to say, "well I haven't really ever been a fan" or "I haven't heard anything new from that artist for a long time". They have to grand-stand some curious hatred, in a mockery-laced tangent. Yeah, the debate got heated for some reason, for some people. (Just made me shake my head in wonderment.) And I won't even get into my feelings of astonishment at people saying they didn't like Prince because he was weird, whilst singing the praises of Michael Jackson. Marty and I tried to play fair by not taking any digs at poor Michael. Talk about biting your tongue. My biggest point on the whole issue/comparison was that "Michael Jackson's music is like junk food. It's really good when you're in the mood for light-hearted fun, but you can't survive on a steady diet of it." Whereas, Prince has music for whatever mood you're in, or whatever you're going through - and lots of it. They're both talented showmen. Both musically gifted. And both eccentric... to say the least. But sorry MJ fans... Prince sings better, has consistently better music, has a much better sense of who he is/what he stands for, a seemingly better sense of humour, and above all else: Prince has more soul. Long live both artists though. They're cultural icons and I'm certain there's much to be learned from either of them.

I should also add, that now that Eak's had the chance to get to know Marty a little better, we're very likely to spend more time with her and her bf. They're good people. And what a beautiful home!

And on to Saturday/Saturday night.

I didn't get to sleep until about 5:40 am on Saturday, so understandably, I was largely out-of-juice for the day. But that didn't stop us from going shopping with KittyCole. She bought a purple leather jacket from Danier. The girl loves purple... and she's not even Prince-obsessed.
We parted company and headed over to Eak's sister's (Melanie) place with our bread maker in tow. Eak made some decadent banana bread this weekend that started with that loaf. It was so good he made another loaf yesterday afternoon. Mark (Mel's husband) taught us how to play hearts and as always, we learned things about them that we'd rather not know. (Don't ask. Mark's the King of inappropriate outbursts.) I was amused at one of his terms of endearment though. "Whore Pie". Still makes me giggle. I was making up similar names for Eak as a result (and much to his chagrin). Funny how, Eak doesn't think "Sphincter Muffin", or "Scrotum Dumpling" are good pet names. Neither are quite as musical as "Whore Pie"... I'll give ya that.

While we were there, I played "Toilet Seat Cozy Saboteur". God I hate those things. I'm sure it's not very hospitable-guest of me, to keep popping the toilet seat cozy off the toilet seat at someone else's house. But hey - they're family, and Mel quite-obviously kept fixing it. 'Cause every time I went in the bathroom, there it was; all snug and prohibitively in place. Toilet seat cozies were specifically designed by women to agitate men in the most insidious way I've ever seen in action. I understand their aesthetic quality, and why they're the perfect addition to every bathroom where you want to ensure the seat is always down. But DEAR GOD in heaven, how I hate them. I don't ask much of this world, but let me pee in peace, without having to prop up the f*#king toilet seat... mmmkay??? So sayeth the toilet seat cozy saboteur. (I just like the way that sounds.)

In other news my neck is buggered. Has been since last Thursday. I think I just slept on it wrong, but I'm in enough discomfort today to use it as a valid excuse to go home and me thinks I shall. Sometimes I feel sorry for my neck... having to bare the beast of burden that is my ginormous melon of a head.

OH... and I can't forget to document that Eak is going to see Ricky Martin tonight. Courtesy of KittyCole yet again. She's got connections. It's a concert and meet-and-greet. And needless to say I had to agree in no uncertain terms that if opportunity should arise... I am not entitled to any jealous feelings, abandonment issues, or pesky infidelity hang-ups should Mr Martin even look at Eak with a twinkle in his eye for any kind of sexual hi jinx.
I said "go for it." I've got the same kind of dibs on Colin Farrell, so it's only fair. ; )
I told Eak "I want to know what Ricky Martin smells like. So pay attention." I just envision him having a very non-typical fresh/clean scent... like some fragrance you can only find on a mountain in Tibet or something. If he's stinky, or wears something like Joop, or CK1 my already marginal interest in him will diminish completely. I'm weird about the fragrance thing, admittedly.

My absolute favourite Prince song: "17 Days"

Called u
yesterday
U didn't answer your phone
The main drag
is knowing that
U probably weren't alone

So here I sit in my lonely room
Lookin' 4 my sunshine
But all I've got
is two cigarettes
And this broken heart of mine

So let the rain come down
Let the rain come down
Let the rain come down, down
Let the rain come down
Let the rain come down
Let the rain come down, down

You've been gone
17 days
17 long nights
The main drag
is knowing that
You're holding someone else tight
I wanna to call u
everyday
And beg u 2 be near me
But I know
your head is underwater
I doubt that u could hear me

So let the rain come down
Let the rain come down
Let the rain come down, down
Let the rain come down
Let the rain come down
Let the rain come down, down

Ha, ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
17 Days
Ha, ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
17 Days

Called u yesterday
U didn't answer your phone
If you're the one who's always lonely
Then I'm the one who's always alone

So here I sit in my lonely room
Lookin' 4 my sunshine
All I've got
is 2 cigarettes
And this broken heart of mine

Let the rain come down
Let the rain come down
Let the rain come down, down
Let the rain come down
Let the rain come down
Let the rain come down, down
Let the rain come down
Let the rain come down
Let the rain come down, down

Why don't you answer your phone?
Let the rain come down
Let the rain come down
Let the rain come down, down
17 Days
Let the rain come down
Let the rain come down
Let the rain come down, down
17 Days

8 comments:

Jerome said...

Toilet seat cozies are completely wrong (as are those stupid padded vinyl toilet seats). Quite frankly, I'm not sure that anything which could be mistaken for upholstery of any kind has a place in the washroom, unless it's in some dark-wood-panelled hoity-toity bathroom, where a fellow in a short red jacket hands you a towel and gets a $5 tip in exchange.

John said...

You TIP those guys?!

I'd give them 5 bucks to get out of the bathroom and stop listening while I do my bizness. ;)

Seriously though. What a crappy job! And the pun is intended.

Jerome said...

Okay, let's be honest. When did I last eat anywhere where they had such hoit or toit?

Misster Kitty said...

{Apologies this is a LOOOOOONG Comment!}

---

OK. Breathe Misster Kitty. Breathe.

... where to begin...

First of all if you keep posts like this up I'll soon be purchasing DEPENDS... Undies for the infant in all of us.

Secondly... You were up past midnight BOTH nights this weekend? Good Lord. you're nothing but a young whippersnapper!

Ok, now on to the meat of this whopper of a post...

Michael Jackson sucks. Prince rules. (well except when he was 'Squiggly design' and or 'The artist formally known as Prince'. Doesn't that actually now make him 'Prince, the artist, formally known as the artist, formally know and Prince.' Sure it's wordy but whatcha gonna do?)

In more elaborate terms... While I'm not set against a little sideshow celebrity, I choose to leave that to George Michael, and Boy George. Two old 'Mos who know how to do it without involving children, -their own or otherwise- (Well?! someone had to say it) or chimpanzees. MJ is a freak pure and simple. I can honestly say There is not one song of his I've ever enjoyed, hummed, secretly lip synced to or sang in the shower. I might be the only one on the planet, but well, that's just how it is. I just don't get him. Never have and I know I never will. I will say this, he knows how to use AND abuse the media, and how to draw out their time in the lime light like no other. When I was in Junior High I received a copy of 'Thriller', on LP no less! And I am sure somewhere in my parents basement it lays there still in it's original plastic shrink wrap, not because I thought it might be worth something some day, because less face it there's more copies of that album out there that we want to know, but because I had no interest in listening to it. Still don't.

I'm not the biggest Prince fan in the world, but I'll listen to him any day! and given a chance to see him in concert and I'd do god only knows what stupid stunt on a top 40 to get free tickets. Prince has true staying power. Pure and simple HE is an Entertainer. And besides I was always impressed by his outfits, and in high school I secretly dreamed I could wear that powder blue cloud print number from the Raspberry Beret video. But lets face it, a bolero jacket and snug tapered leg pants and a husky lad are no marriage made in heaven.

---

'Whore Pie' OH - MAH - GA! That is better than Shakespeare! It's smutty, dirty, kinky, just plain wrong, but at the same time, sweet, and adorable and oh so endearing... in a twisted dysfunctional, but loving sorta way. And I'm severely jealous that I didn't think of it myself! BRAV-A!

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Toilet Seat Cozies. Wrong. WRONG WRONG WRONG WRONG WRONG! And shame on you for not torching the thing. I'm assuming its likely also made of some synthetic material. Lord dear God in heaven above... tell me it's not something so vile as phentex! ...in which case do light a match! Did I mention.. they are just plain WRONG!

Your sister gots some 'splaining to do, is all I'm saying. Not that there is ANY valid reason I can think of to justify it. And Jerome pointed out, so too are padded toilet seats. Both are abominations and it's is every Mo's responsibility to destroy them on first sight. Destroy first, ask questions and scold the owners later!

---

Ricky Martin. Yea ok, so he's sorta cute... SORTA... and he CAN shake his bon-bon... Well good for him. All I can say is Closet Case. I've got no proof, other than finely honed GayDar, that's never let me down before - I've sniffed out other gay men up to 13 years before they came out themselves, I'm telling ya it's just a matter of time. You can only stay ambiguous for so long... Hope Ted had a good time

And yes, I think it's just fine to let Ted have dibs on Mr. Martin, you've chosen wisely with Mr Farrell. Personally I have dibs on Corn (N@'s significant other), Joey Fatone and Antonio Sabato Jr.

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Sorry this si sooooo looooong... my bad.

John said...

No comments are ever too long Kitty! ;)

And I've never actually eaten at an establishment hoity or toity enough to have a little towel dude breathing in all the poop fumes either Jerome. Perhaps we should treat ourselves one day.

Misster Kitty said...

I was thinking... you need to take a pic of that Toilet Seat Cozy... I'm sure we'd all enjoy getting a little look-see.

John said...

I don't often tote a camera into the bathroom... but hey... why the hell not?

Eventually, it shall be "Toilet Seat Cozy Week" on the Discovery channel, and I will have footage of my sister's bathroom to submit. "This endangered species is embraced by women and loathed and hunted to extinction by men."

Misster Kitty said...

I'll set my recorder!