Thursday, May 24, 2007

Gravity Please Be Kind

'Going rollerblading for the first time ever tonight. I fear for my bones. But I do have knee, elbow and wrist pads for protection. Truthfully, I'm dreading it a little. Fat people aren't meant to donne roller blades or any other "attractive person" sporting attire. That's why you only see attractive/fit people in rollerblades. The fat people have all fallen down and broken body parts and egos on hard surfaces and looks of disgust from strangers.

Alas, even though I resisted... I have my own rollerblades. And they will either be used because I discover a miraculous love of finally knowing what it's like to be the fridge that has sat in one spot for 10 years before someone has the smarts to install coasters, or... put aside like so many other sporting goods because I'm embarrassed of how I look or simply don't enjoy the exercise. The latter of course, being the more likely outcome... makes me feel like a failure before I even begin. In this life's many arenas, my lack of ambition and motivation are surpassed by nothing, and I'm aware of this, yet I do so very little to change any of it. Needless to say, Ted is a good influence on me, and I a bad influence on him when it comes to physical activity. Let the record state though... that I did not want roller blades. I wanted to rid the house of junk food in stead. I write this now because I fear there will be no more blog entries until I've mastered the art of typing on a keyboard using only a chopstick and my teeth. Did I mention how "not" physically inclined I am? Ahh well. Open mind. Perhaps I can find some way to use the rollerblades for "slothful evil", instead of "healthy good" and trick myself into burning calories. The catch is: that I like walking, so giving me wheels so I can move faster and expend more energy is a hard sell on a body cast that will also, undoubtedly make me look fat.

(that's a joke, for anyone who's worried.)

I don't really have a song in my head today other than the theme music from WKRP in Cincinnati, which although catchy after not hearing it for 15 years or so, must be removed post-haste before it's toxic 70's melody forces me to climb the water tower with a high-powered rifle again (mustn't do that anymore). The juke box in my mind can be full of randomly switching ditties at any given time, but sometimes it gets stuck in an annoying feedback loop (usually while I'm trying to sleep). I can't really think of an instance when it isn't a bad thing to have the same song repeating over and over again in your head. But I do enjoy planting songs in Ted's head. hee hee That's one of our "couplisms". All it takes is a few bars of something familiar; the more annoying the better (hah) to pass along a song that will remain for hours. The only remedy: turn on the stereo and get a new tune goin'. And hope you forget the planted song before you venture away from a source of music.

I just asked my iPod for a good song. It's first offering was "Dude Looks Like a Lady" by Aerosmith. What a sense of humour it has.

Here's a good one... "Get Up" by Amel Larrieux from her first CD "Infinite Possibilities". Such a good album. Neo-soul, jazz-infused and a singing style that makes every note seem effortless.

"Get Up"

6 am
Getting out of bed again
Can't get back in
Cuz sleep ain't gonna pay the rent
Day to day
They got you working like a slave
Takin' credit for the work you gave
And stealing your raise
But I

I know you're down
When you gon get up
I see you're down
When you gon get up
I know you're down
When you gon get up
I see you're down
When you gon get up

People try
To pull the wool over your eyes
Don't know why
They want to profit from your demise
They lie
To cover up how weak they are inside,
Oh Baby,
Baby don't you cry
All you got's your pride
So I



Misster Kitty said...

Hope you're still alive...

In case you decide to go back out a 2nd time, this is my best tip... (I've been blading since the early 90's) ...

You MUST keep your knees bent a bit. this not only puts you in a better position (think Speed Skaters) it also saves your back. If you Skate standing erect (we're talking POSTURE here) you'll have a wicked sore back for days...

The bent knees also keep your center of gravity lower, which is better for your balance... keep in ming you're on teenie-weenie wheels on asphalt.

May the force be with you!

Jerome said...

I agree wholeheartedly. Keep your centre of gravity lower ... like in a chair.

John said...

Thanks guys. : )

I survived. (barely.)

But more on that later.